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I Think I am Trangender


Guest drew783

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Guest John Chiv

Drew,

Welcome to Laura's.

Not a simple or short answer but the best one is to see a gender therapist. It would be helpful if you posted a bit about yourself in the introductions forum. Whatever you are comfoirtable with but some more information.

John

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Gender is not a clearly defined aspect of life. There is literally nothing you can be for sure about when it comes to this. Genes? Nah. There are a lot of mismatched chromosomes, XXY and such. The physical sex? Obviously not- as we've proved at Laura's playground just by existing. Mind gender? You never know. There is a great deal of overlap.

Are you happy as a male? Do you fit in well? Do you think about the "what if" on becoming female? You've already come so far as to register and post a new topic.

Imagine this, what if one morning you just woke up female? How would you feel about that? Tingly excited sensation? Or would you perhaps be more depressed?

I agree with John, you oughtta see a therapist to be sure. At the same time don't JUST rely on them either.

"The wise asks themselves of their failures. The fool asks others."

~Emily

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Guest davidlucy

i know the feeling been my doctor who was very understanding but now having to wait up to seven months to see a councilor is a long time to wait my head is everywhere and think im in denial im just so unsure

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Sometimes confusion is a good state of mind. It allows us to reflect on life. Think if you were so sure of yourself all the time, you would never question anything. And that would truly be unfortunate! Not that too much confusion is ever good, but just keep in mind that it leads to an open mind.

~Emily

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I just knew. Flat out. The moment I found out what a transsexual was, I knew that was me. I just spent years trying to figure out the "how". LP? Internet for that matter? Where were you in 1994?

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Guest GinaInside

I began wrestling with this since I was very young. I wanted a sex-change before I knew such a thing existed, I know The Prayer real well! It's not an easy thing to deal with, for sure. There are a lot of kind people here who are willing to help you in your journey.

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Yeah GinaInside, I wanted one before I knew it existed also. I distinctly remember watching the Simpsons and one episode mentioned a sex-change. I was so happy that such a thing actually existed!

~Emily

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Guest Joni Hayes
Imagine this, what if one morning you just woke up female? How would you feel about that? Tingly excited sensation? Or would you perhaps be more depressed?

~Emily

It was this for me, so many times, the "what ifs" were constant.

jonni

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Guest Maggie_O

I don't know how you not know. From as early as I can remember I wished I was a girl, physically that is. Mentally I always had been. I had no idea that there were such things as transsexuals and I certainly didn't know a thing about sex change operations. I was about 3 or 4 so things so sophisticated never entered my mind. I just knew I was a girl and that was that.

A few years later when I'd learned more, I thought that god had somehow made a mistake. So I prayed for him to turn me into a girl.

So, yes, see a therapist. But I feel that you already know or you wouldn't be here and wouldn't be asking questions. Perhaps you're in some sort of fenial. Thats not uncommon either. No one dreams of being different.

What you may need to do is brace yourself for the day when you'll allow yourself to accept yourself for what you are ... a girl with a kickstand.

However you get there, I know you'll find people here who are ready to live and help you for just who you are.

Peace, love and Merry Christmas! ?

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  • Forum Moderator

Really there is a wide spectrum of gender and not just 2 choices A or B -It goes all the way to Z .

You can fit anywhere on it and if that does not always match your body then you may well be transgender. You can have masculine traits or feminine traits and still not be transgender or any mix and still not be transgender. Being trans comes from a difference between what your brain is configured to be-and tells you that you are-and the way your body is set up.

It can be apparent early on but it doesn't have to be. It can be all the time but not necessarily. And it can be one way one day and the opposite the next.

That's why we always repeat and repeat those words-"See a Gender Therapist" -because this is a very, very complex situation and they can help you find the way through the maze to your answers and solutions.

By the way there are tests out there online-I have taken then all even the ones designed just for FtM-but they are not reliable or accurate and reflect the attitudes of the test taker more than anything else. Have fun with them if you want but take them with a grain of salt as well.

You are what your brain says you are. That can be difficult to figure out because you have been told something different all your life-but whatever you are, it is okay

Johnny

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Guest Jillian99

Good question. I thought I was "just a cross dresser". Now I'm not so certain. As I reflect on things and probe more into my feelings I find I can't tell. I've taken a whole lot of gender identity tests trying to figure where I land. Most of them come out transgendered. That' is more than a little scary. (Probably why I haven't posted on this forum in awhile.) I was expecting something else, but ...I don't know what the next part is. I'll have to take it as it comes. I wish you the best. This isn't an easy road to travel.

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I really don't like the gender tests online.

Unless they are being asked by a live person, the answers are negotiable. For instance, if a question asked you if you would notice a small string on someone's clothes, your mind will start to wander. The first thing that should enter is "is this a feminine trait?" Obviously you are taking the test for a reason, and subconsciously you know there is a result you are looking for, and will sort of 'tweak' the answers to fit that result.

Secondly it's not absolute either, you may feel like you pay attention to someone's fashion, but in a week your mindset could change drastically. Not to mention some professions focus on certain traits like these(like attention to small detail, or a string on someone's clothes). There is no absoluteness in taking these tests, and almost pointless trying to prove to yourself something you would already know.

I constantly take the COGIATI, and I score a different thing every time.

~Emily

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Guest Stacey Sim

ive always felt somthing wasnt right i knew i was born a boy (maybe thats just my mothers doing telling me your a boy) but ive always felt i should have been born a girl... i really love benig girly i feel so real and happy and coming out has really set me free

ok im going to use the passing word, i really dont care about things like passing anymore, i just wanna live my life and be me, have fun and be happy :)

StaceY

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It's not that you even think about it, but every question can be answered differently so it's not personal enough. Usually the 'selective' thoughts are more subconscious, so you wouldn't ponder about them anyways.

~Emily

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  • 5 months later...
Guest Naren

I heard about sex-change when I was about 7 and I thought "Now that would be cool." As I got older and males and females grew apart, I sensed I was on the wrong side. Then as I was going through Youtube, I stumbled on a song by Kim Petras (who is awesome) and looked her up. I learned that she was transgender, and I was like "Ooh now this sounds even cooler" so I looked that up and I was like "This is so me!"

There was more to the story... anyway, do some research. Does it sound like you?

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  • 4 months later...
  • 2 weeks later...
Guest vissymiss

It is an internal feeling mostly, talking about it and exploring how you feel can help uncover a lot of confusion you may have :) That's the purpose of this forum I assume!

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