Do I belong here ...

[Guest wonderdillon]

Hello,

I am brand new to this idea. I am a 29 year old "female," married to a female and have a son who is 2 years old. For as long as I can remember, I have wondered and imagined my life as a man. I look to the future and see it as a man, but I never wake up in a different body. When I was in grade school I asked my friends what they would think of it if I were a boy. I have had short hair since I was a kid and still have it today. I feel more comfortable wearing boxers than underwear. I work with all men and it's the only place I feel like I can really act like myself. Basically I wonder if this is normal or I belong here?

WD

[Guest Kaitlyn16]

Yay! I'm the first to reply XD

*ahem* anyway, welcome to Laura's! As for whether or not you 'belong here', I can't speak for the FtM community, but your comment, "I have wondered and imagined my life as a man", sounds alot like my situation, except I'm on the other end of the spectrum haha...

Don't worry about rushing to figure everything out though, take your time. Keep in mind that this isn't something you want to rush. I would recommend taking a look at the FtM section of the forum, and talk to some of the people there. They are in situations similar to yours, so they might be able to point you in the right direction.

Again, welcome, and have fun discovering yourself!

[Guest wonderdillon]

Thank you for your post. I wasn't sure which forum to start in because I haven't really identified myself officially, I guess, as FTM. I guess that's why I am here! Thank you thank you

[Guest KayJo]

Hi WD, welcome.

Why don't you post a "hello" in the welcomes forum?, you'll probably get a lot of warm responses.

There is a broad range of folk here who find them selves, inside, in their hearts, somewhere other than the gender "tag" assigned to them at birth. So I'd say you definitely belong. I am smiling now because I had the exact same (opposite) feelings in grade school as you describe. Go figure,

Hugs,

Kay

xx

[Carolyn Marie]

WD, "normal" as a category doesn't exist, in my opinion. How you feel about your gender identity is how you feel, and it's fine. Most of us here don't believe in the binary gender categories; most of us consider it to be a spectrum.

As to your question about whether you belong here; if you are questioning your gender identity, or confused, or you believe you suffer from gender dysphoria, then you definitely belong here, and we're happy to have you as a member.

Please ask any questions in any of the forums, check out the forum threads, and learn all you can. We'll be here to help.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Kael147]

I can tell you that you sound a lot like me. In my dreams, my fantasies, and my future I see myself as a man. There have been times when I have tried to balk at it and get all femme, but it just made things worse for me. I used to be in the military and then a cop. I went to University and realized that I didn't fit in and tried to be more like the women in my classes. ya - well - I soon realized that being in a uniform in a male dominated work environment was exactly why I was comfortable enough to stay a woman for so long. As soon as I removed my uniform I began to experience anxiety about my gender much like I did when I was a teen.

I too am married to a woman and I have two kids. Mine are a bit older, but my youngest said to me when I told him I am transgender that he wished I'd have done it earlier so he could have made me father's day cards (it was sweet, but it came from a place of shame in having to tell teachers he doesn't have a dad - one year he brought home a brother card cause his teacher didn't understand that the three women who came to see her at parent teacher were his lesbian mom's (my ex and my wife).

Sorry, got off topic for a second.

Anyway, as I started my journey, I asked a lot of questions and someone said to me something like, "whether you are a butch lesbian or a transman it doesn't really matter - you are you". I think I've totally butchered the quote, but essentially I think what they were trying to say is, "take the journey, see where it goes, and enjoy the ride".

I hope that you figure it out. For me I needed to talk to a therapist. My first therapist wasn't a gender specialist. She was a family counselor. I talked to her and she helped me to walk in this world as I am and as I was born. We talked about seeing the world through my own eyes instead of worrying about how a "woman" is supposed to see the world. Man or woman - I'm me. It was really good. I really was able to do it and it helped me through whatever particular crisis in my life I was dealing with, but inevitably my confusion would return and then I saw a gender therapist. That was a good day!!

My advice, take your time, flush out how you feel and go from there! AND - if you ever need to chat you know where we are!

Cheers,

Kael

[Guest Talon]

Hey WD,

Welcome to Laura's! Definitely sounds to me like the FtM forum would be a cool place for you to explore. The fact that you say you see your life as a man's life makes me think you may find some good stories and experiences to relate to here and some good advice.

As far as I'm concerned, members here are more or less certain what they feel like and more or less out to others. So even if you still have some soulsearching to do, I think this is a good place to start I agree that it'd be a good idea to post an introduction, just so people can read a bit about you and think of any good advice they have.

Look forward to seeing more posts from you.

All the best,

Talon.

[Guest wonderdillon]

Wow! I have been apart of this forum for a few days and already I feel changed. Kay- I will definitely put out a biography so you all can get a better feel for who I am and where I came from. I am very interested in speaking with new people. Kael, your story is so much more like mine then I have told. I would really like to chat sometime. Talon, you really are someone to look forward to and I hope we can chat as well. I think I could learn so much from you and your strength! Carolyn, I can't even believe I used the word "normal." I never really believed anyone feels that way! It's crazy what you say when you are scared and confused! Thanks for all the support already!

WD