Greetings From Sunny California

[Guest Emily.SoCal]

Hello there, people.

I'm Emily, I'm 30ish, from the Los Angeles area, and I'm MtF. I'm not sure if I'm transgendered or transsexual (not trying to label myself, just saying I have a lot think about still) and I suppose that's a big reason why I've sought out forums like this. I'm very much a woman on the inside and I love that about myself, but I've spent so many years in my genetically male body that I'm not sure if I want to make a complete transition and have SRS someday or if I would be perfectly happy living as a woman 100% of the time in every other way. Also, I haven't been able to explore this part of myself until recently and I'm not sure how much of my indecisiveness is due to me having so long played the role society demanded of me. Specifically, I was stuck living in a very conservative Midwestern city until I was 29 and spent about 20 years before that suppressing much of my true self out of absolute fear. My family doesn't know and, right now, one of my major concerns is that I see no way that they can ever know. I suppose I'll have to cross that bridge when I come to it. These days I live in a place that embraces diversity and I have an awesome, supportive girlfriend who is one of few to know all the details about my gender/sexuality/etc. And above all, I'm learning to love myself and I want and need to have my outside match my inside. Of course, I've still got a long way to go and I can use as much help, advice and perspective as I can get!

[MaryEllen]

Hello Emily,

Welcome to Laura's Playground. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Have you ever talked with a gender therapist about your thoughts and feelings? He/she could really help you straighten things out and it's something you would have to do anyway if you ever intend to transition. Stick around and ask questions. You'll get plenty of advice from other members who've been there and done that.

MaryEllen

[Guest Emily.SoCal]

Hello Emily,

Welcome to Laura's Playground. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Have you ever talked with a gender therapist about your thoughts and feelings? He/she could really help you straighten things out and it's something you would have to do anyway if you ever intend to transition. Stick around and ask questions. You'll get plenty of advice from other members who've been there and done that.

MaryEllen

Heh, actually, I was looking into gender therapists when I came across Laura's Playground. I haven't talked to a therapist before (not regarding gender anyway), but I'm quite eager to at this point. Next to finding a therapist, my main goal was to find a good online resource/community. I don't know how I didn't discover a site as active as this before. Anyway, one item down, on with the therapist search.

Thanks for the warm welcome,

Emily

P.S. I see you're on the the opposite coast (I love New England!), but you wouldn't happen to have any good pointers on searching for transgender professionals in the LA area? Or a pertinent forum here where I could ask about providers like this group of professionals?

[MaryEllen]

Hi Emily,

This is a list of gender therapists that we have.

http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm

Scroll down to California and take your pick. I noticed that there were several in the LA area. Good luck in your search.

MaryEllen

[Guest CharlieRose]

Hello down there! I'm from California, too, but closer to the Bay Area. Welcome.

[Guest CindyBC]

Hi Emily hon, welcome to Laura's Playground, Yes I agree with looking up a therapist I believe that this is probably the first suggestion that most members of a board will ask. See a therapist and share what you have here with us with this person. I just joined here yesterday myself, well I live a few miles up the coast from you, I live in Vancouver BC Can. Have a wonderful day.

CindyBC