looking for a trans friendly church in our area...

[Guest Karen K]

Hey all,

I attend a United Methodist Church and I have high hopes regarding acceptance as their motto is: Open Minds, Open Hearts and Open Doors. I don't know if this is appropriate for this thead, but ..........

This past Sunday as we were preparing for the first worship service, Pastor came to me and asked if I had time to meet with him this week. Yes, of course I did (unemplyed as I am). We set Wednesday (today) at 9:30 am. The gears in my little brain started to turn and I wondered, "Did someone from church see me out as Laura Jane and have they expressed their concern to the Pastor?"

I went armed with the letter I sent to my siblings last year and steeled myself for this possibility. Sure enough that was the case. He flat out asked if I was dealing with any transgender issues! Oh boy, here we go!

I gave him the letter and sat patiently as he read and made little comments as he went along. Afterward, we discussed my GT, who I had included in the letter, and my "crossdressing". We also discussed my religious convictions, I assured him that God and Jesus are always with me no matter how I'm dressed.

Though I didn't want to overload him with info, I did tell him of the SOC, and that GID is a medical condition, not a mental one.

He confessed his ignorance of this issue and I could see he was making a great effort to understand me. We parted on good terms though and he said he was still my Pastor and my friend; that his door is open to me anytime I want to talk to him. That is a relief, but I still have to face the three other that know: the praise team member, who originally saw me, the chior misstress and anothe "offical" with the music department, both of whom he told. I got the impression that the three of them met with Pastor and discussed this.So the cat is outta the bag, somewhat.

I have chior and praise team practice tonight and I am considering talking to each one privately. I will state that I am available for any questions they may have and that I appreciate them keeping this confidential.

Laura Jane

[Guest Gregg Jameson]

Thanks for sharing your experience.

I see you as very strong and confident in your identity.

I do not attend a church that might take issue with my transition; however, my extended family is deeply involved in such a denomination. Many lifetime family friends are also members of denominations which have failed to have an open mind.

Our places of worship, our spiritual families, are all so very important to us!

I wish you the best as you meet with more individuals!

I'll be wondering how this all went for you, while also cheering you on!

With Admiration,

Brad

[Guest Karen K]

Well, it is all crashing down on me at my church. My Pastor called this morning and gave me the bad news: I am no longer welcome in the choir nor the praise band. I am terribly hurt and disappointed. My contribution to the church and to God is my music and that has now been taken away. It remains to be seen if I will be playing my trumpet for Ash Wednesday as I was asked to play "Amazing Grace"for that service.

Pastor G___ said he wants me to remain active in the church and invited me to join his bible study class, "Imitation of Christ". I've missed half this class as it meets during choir practice. I don't like being behind and I don't think my heart is in the right place now. They often ask people to give of their time, treasure or talent. I give what I can of my "treasure" and I have baked pies and stood watch. My talent, such as it is, was my music and that is an avenue that is now closed off to me.

Laura Jane

[VickySGV]

Ouch!! Big time!!! My suggestion is wait a day or two and then get a one on one appointment with the Pastor and grill him on the reasons he could not adequately lead two of his staff members in this situation. Maybe that sounds harsh, but it will give you a gauge of his actual committment to making you part of the church community as you. Get him to commit to a schedule or program on getting you back to these activities, and offer to help him get the resources to educate the other congregants about the transgender people who can make a wonderful contribution to his church. If he is not willing to try and put together a program to help you, and is just trying to barn you and keep you on the pledge list, do remind him of the instruction in Matthew 10:14 "If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet as you leave that house or town."

There is the old story about an African American man back in the early 1900's who had been trying to join a major church in his city, and had been turned down. The Pastor suggested the man ask God what he should really do, and the old man sadly agreed. The Pastor did not hear from the old man for several weeks, and he was not seen around the church, but one day the pastor met him in town on the street. The pastor asked the man "Well, did you really pray to God about this??" The old man assured the pastor that he had. The pastors next question was what God had actually told the man, to which he received the reply "Well Reverend, I asked God what to do, and he told me to give up on trying to get into your church" at which point the pastor started to smile, until the old man went on. "Well reverend God told me it was no use, because He has been trying for years ot get into your church Himself!!

If your church is actually going for the Imitation Of Christ, by Thomas aKempis, good luck, its a little too much for me, although I have trudged through most of it. It is NOT your final exam for getting into heaven at death! Go for the fellowship and what you can get in terms of personal insight, but don't worry about having missed parts of it. It is a very much Classic piece of writing.

[Guest Karen K]

Thank you Vicky for the encouragement. I had hoped to transition quitely with as little disruption as possible in my little corner of the world. The way things have progressed recently, I may have to become somewhat of an activist. Pastor G did say that he would call my therapist, I pray that he opens his mind and heart during this consultation. If however, he goes in with his mind focused on: "God made him male, ergo he is male", I fear nothing will be gained.

The choir mistress does want to meet with me this evening, over coffee. I am prepared to give her as much information as she can handle. I will be attending services this morning. I will go in with my head up and sing with great might, and should anyone ask, I'll direct them to the pastor.

Laura Jane