*waves* ^-^

[Guest Alexapoda]

Hello everyone! ^-^ I'm new!

I'm Alex (I consider myself extremely lucky to have been assigned a gender neutral name) I'm 18 and I'm a preHRT MTF transsexual. I consider myself a lesbian even though I'm kind of "meh" about actual intercourse.

I joined this site because I feel alone as a transsexual and the depression is becoming too much. I live in Georgia where being trans is not exactly something that is admired. I do not know anyone else who is transgender and I have only seen a couple transgenders (at least that I could tell) while walking around. Most of the issues I have about coming out I'm sure are all in my head. I'm usually referred to as female by strangers (my hair is down pretty far below my shoulders) and my friends and immediate family seem to be accepting of my lack of masculinity. Nevertheless the coming out issues are there and have been there my whole life, fueled by feelings of isolation and extreme self consciousness. I'm finally forcing myself to come out to my parents by Jan 21 when I go back to college (at Emory, Oxford if anyone's curious/is going there too and wants to be friends!). So far I've only told two people, a fabulous lesbian friend of mine, and my roommate's understanding girlfriend.

I am an atheist and I try to live my life according to utilitarian hedonism. Because I'm an atheist I've come to the conclusion that there isn't any point to life, the universe and everything. While reproduction is the reason I exist, I reproduce to reproduce to reproduce etc. but to what end? Therefore I try to help myself and others to do what we were programmed to do, which is to pursue long term happiness. I'm trying to come out as transsexual to at least my parents in order to follow this life philosophy. I strive to create as much net happiness as possible, regardless of who it goes to. For example, a cruel persons happiness is just as important to me as a kind person's happiness, only that making a cruel person happy almost always results in creating more net unhappiness in the kind people. The only true way to create a net increase in happiness is through kindness and compassion, to everyone. I often bake a whole bunch of cookies and give them out to anybody I meet for this reason (hooray! ^-^). Despite my depression I have a happy-cheery personality and, despite being introverted, I am a friendly, cheery person when interacting with others.

As far as interests go, I like classical music and, I am obsessed with marine invertebrates. I keep two (plus one that is cycling) saltwater aquariums that I dedicate much of my relaxation time to. One is a ten gallon nano reef that I lug between here and college (meep! so heavy! After I go on HRT and loose what muscle I have what will I do? :<, goodbye to sea slug friends?) and the other is a 55 gallon mantis shrimp tank with a peacock mantis shrimp named Pythagoras. The third tank is meant to contain two pygmy octopuses which I hope will reproduce (Daww! Lil octos! -^^- Love!). I would love to describe my animals to you but I must remember that this is not what this site is meant for. (Gah!...must...nerd....out...). Recently my concentration on finding a way to get prescribed HRT has been more consuming than my reefs. This must be alleviated soon.

I would love to make some friends here! c: I am open to listening to anyone about anything as long as they will listen back.

Love and sunshine -^^-

~Alex

[Guest John Chiv]

Welcome to Laura's Playground Alex,

Savannah is beautiful. I lived in Atlanta for 5 years. Thanks for your introductory post.

John

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Hello, Alex...

Welcome to the Playground

I'm Donna Jean

Have a seat and I'll get you come cookies and a cup of hot coco...

Now, I'd like to ask you to be sure to have a look at the forum rules...there's a link at the bottom right of most pages...It says “Terms & Conditions..

And, we moderate this site to keep it safe for everyone..

Don't worry, there are other atheists on the site.....

And, I lived in Dalton, Ga. for years.....

Nice to have you here!

Huggs

Dee Jay

[Guest Robin Winter]

Hah, I had to look up pictures of peacock mantis shrimp and pygmy octopii, omg cute!!!! Now I want an octopus. Like...really bad...

You should put some pictures of them in your gallery

Anyhoo, welcome to Lauras.

[Guest Mia J]

Hello Alex and welcome to Laura's. We are happy to have you here.

Thanks for the great introduction and you will find a lot of others like you here.

We do have some members in Georgia so know you are not alone.

Have you talked with a gender therapist yet? That is one of the first steps we recommend to starting transition and the path to HRT. You may be able to do this through your school.

I am just so jealous of your salt water tanks. They sound fantastic.

Mia

[Guest Amanda Whyte]

Welcome to the play ground.

[Guest Alexapoda]

Thank you so much for all the kindness! It really means a lot to me.

@ Dee Jay: Thank you! *noms cookie* :3

@ Shilo: I know right? You can't help but want one, they're so... squish.

@ Mia: No I have not found a therapist yet, but it is on my list of things to do once I get back to school. As far as the tanks go, I love them, but they are funded by a teenager, and it shows.

I have a work study job taking care of the saltwater tanks at the Emory, Oxford campus (I was like, "I can get PAID for this? I thought it just sapped money away!") so I have job security for my transition. I currently plan to go full time when I reach Emory Main (E. Oxford is a two year school) because I'll be in an environment where everyone is new and I don't have to explain myself to absolutely everyone.

[Guest Robin Winter]

@ Shilo: I know right? You can't help but want one, they're so... squish.

Hehehe, that's a very apt description, yes.

[Guest NatashaJade]

Hi Alex!

Welcome to Laura's!

I'm one of the other atheists on the site. My life goal is to live to see the end of the universe and if it doesn't end, then I guess I'll just keep going along with it. But I think that while we're here, we can do more than reproduce (which I have...). We can make the world a better place in the now. We have to live here and if there's nothing beyond this, then we should make this the best this we can

In any case, I hope we can help you with...stuff.

xoxo

Tasha

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi Alex,

<<< hug >>>

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.

The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.

Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.

One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.

We have MTF meetings-Mon & Sat 9pm est, and you are welcome to attend.

We all look forward to seeing you.

vanna