YMMV

[Guest Teri G]

a lot depends on the hormones administered. in a last ditch effort to save the male me from whatever i feared i might become, i took testosterone because my T level was down to about 123. i guess for a woman that IS high. It did not have my doctor's desired effect. so i stopped taking it. after i came out to my wife, she seemed touched that i would make this sacrifice for her. she still is not ready to discuss E for me, though.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

a lot depends on the hormones administered. in a last ditch effort to save the male me from whatever i feared i might become, i took testosterone because my T level was down to about 123. i guess for a woman that IS high. It did not have my doctor's desired effect. so i stopped taking it. after i came out to my wife, she seemed touched that i would make this sacrifice for her. she still is not ready to discuss E for me, though.

I did that heavy T dosage for a month as a last ditch effort to save the marriage. Like you, it had the wrong effects and I got off it. It was a really horrible experience for me - I knew I wanted to go the other way, but I had to try as a last ditch effort. My wife seemed frustrated it didn't turn me into a man, but I had never been one anyway. Hormones are really not a magic bullet, either way. You have got to think about what you are doing and what you really are. These comparison photographs? Probably not the hormones, but rather the change from unhappy to happy caused by the mental health improvements of finally being yourself.

GRIN

The two photos with a comparison of my eyes expressions? Three years apart. I was on HRT for both, but I had just started in the 'before' photo.

My avatar? That's me - no photoshop - and no FFS, I won't need it. I look like a woman because I AM a woman.

Lizzie

[Guest eliza.d]

well said lizzie,

im surprised the two of you, and maybe more actually took t. it shows real dedication to try to save you marriage or to continue to live as a " man".

personally, id sooner die than take t, since im mtf, the t in my body for all my life, or at least the levels, drove me crazy for years.

Hugs,

Eliza

[Guest KimberlyF]

good post drea, that makes me excited to see what hrt will make of me. ive only been on hrt now for ten days, but its been the best ten days ever, honestly really. and being full time makes it all worthwhile imho, to me.

Thank you. I think the thrust of what I try to say is that it will be what you make of it. Hormones will have their effect for sure, and the good thing about hormones will do that they do since we are on them for a long time. Beyond that it is up to us to do the other things such as hair style, electro to remove facial hair, makeup (if needed), voice, etc. All these things become part of presentation. No amount of hormones are going to make one automatically and unquestionably passable if we don't pay attention to those other aspects.

Awesome post Drea! Your posts are so full of wisdom and insight! You are such a gift to these boards

[Guest Jaded1]

I just read the "I took high dosages of T to...."

I can not help it, it made me shudder and shake.

You folks have a greater ability for self sacrifice than I could even imagine. Now that I have a taste of HRT and know how it makes me feel that I have the right chemicals flowing through me I would (at the risk of sounding overly dramatic) sooner end it all than go back. I hung the mask I had worn for 3 decades up and I will NEVER wear it again.

When I was posting the pics I posted a day or two ago on here I for the first time compared them to pics of me from before HRT and I was truly shocked. Losing the weight I did definitely did help but there were so many other things I noticed. It was almost heartbreaking to look at "that person" and see what attempts I had to try and feminize myself.

I now know that there is no amount of clothes, makeup and jewelry that could have EVER made me feel simply the way I feel right now without any of that. The change for me always was to come from the inside first for me to finally realize what a taste of happiness is.

Don't get me wrong, I am FAR closer to the beginning of my journey than the end, but I can honestly say, in the last 4 months did I really learn what happiness and contentness can feel like.

[Guest Svenna]

Lizzie has it right...

If we are woman, we will look like women, because we are women. Having proper female E levels is the oil that greases the wheels, inside and out. Feeling a 'booty' starting to gather on my backside is both validating and relief. In my minds eye, I have always seen myself as a female, just a scruffy, penis-titing, hairy female with a bony butt...lol...now, with HRT kicking in, I feel a sense of relief to see what I have always thought I should see.

I am in no position to speak of what living full time or passing may do for my self esteem and sense of self, but I can say that having a body that smells, feels and even perhaps LOOKS female, is a huge psychological relief. I am happy now, the hole in my brain is closing up, I can actually feel my emotions and that is okay with me.

HRT is not a one-size-fits-all thing at all. Far too many factors interacting to predict specific outcomes, for sure.

But trends are pretty easy tp spot...lol....

I have that same dead-eyed look on my grimacing face in all my photos. It is consistent over the decades as I lapsed deeper into misery...bleh..

But better days are here now!

Amazing photos, indeed...

Love, Svenna

[Guest eliza.d]

see, i think hrt lays the foundation, but takes loads of dedication and work to be a woman. and to me, thats all the fun.

i lo ve it. you get out what you put in. determination, perseverance, and patience coupled with learning and doing all you can makes it all work together.

its great fun too!

Eliza

[Guest Kelly-087]

I fully agree with Johnny on the ONE similarity in the before and after pics I have seen. All of the AFTER pictures show a more serene and happy person. Some of them will be very pretty (MtF) or extremely handsom (FtM), most will be highly ordinary people in the gender of comfort, but all (even the very plain folks) have an air of self acceptance that is un mistakeable.

To be fair Vicky. There are very few girls I find un-attractive. But most girls seem to be pretty in their own way.

I can't say this about men, but FTMs I've seen tend to be fairly attractive.

[Guest Shauna B]

see, i think hrt lays the foundation, but takes loads of dedication and work to be a woman. and to me, thats all the fun.

i lo ve it. you get out what you put in. determination, perseverance, and patience coupled with learning and doing all you can makes it all work together.

its great fun too!

Eliza

What additional type of "work" are you referring to?

[Drea]

see, i think hrt lays the foundation, but takes loads of dedication and work to be a woman. and to me, thats all the fun.

i lo ve it. you get out what you put in. determination, perseverance, and patience coupled with learning and doing all you can makes it all work together.

its great fun too!

Eliza

What additional type of "work" are you referring to?

I would say one has find a good hair style that works, learn how to maintain it and style it oneself. There is working on one's voice. Electro and laser for facial hair to name a few.

[Guest Jo-I-Dunno]

I'd be hard-pressed to say I had a dead look in my eyes before HRT, though admittedly what I wish I were has never been clear and thus my suffering has never been as intense as it is for many.

Before HRT (age 18):

22 months HRT (age 20):

My face is just less masculine in a way I can't put my finger on. I also got my tiny, pointy lateral incisors capped in this time frame; I think that's been a bigger change for my face than HRT. Also note the unibrow in the before. HRT hasn't gotten rid of that. Grooming has.

So, yeah, YMMV. HRT has left me with softer skin, bigger nipples, and a vaguely less masculine face. Others go through massive changes in 22 months. Others get little to nothing.