Never cross-dressed?

[Guest apostate79]

Right now probably one of the biggest doubts that suggest that I'm maybe not transgendered is the fact that I've never cross-dressed. It's seems that with every other transwoman I have met or read about, they all have in common a life-long history of cross-dressing. I have never actually done it, though I guess it's not from a lack of interest, but possibly due more to a combination of fear and lack of opportunity. I grew up in a predominantly male household, with little privacy and my mother being the only female, and the temptation and fascination to do anything like sneaking into her makeup drawer was something that I never really acted on. Another factor is that I also do have a genuine interest in men's fashion. I am a lot fussier about my appearance than most other straight men I know, and I enjoy wearing nice clothes.

[Guest Kelly-087]

I've never cross dressed. Perhaps I'm a bit purist. Right now I look in the mirror and I see a boy. I see a girl behind a boy. But in the front, I see a boy. I want to see a girl in the front, and behind (remember this is all metaphysical!). I'm a transsexual, not a cross dresser. I see these as two very separate, and somewhat related issues. When the time is right, I will gladly wear pretty dresses. No doubt I'll be putting on some minimal make up before then.

[Guest Shy]

I think being trans transcends clothing. I like to be en femme like the next gal, but I feel comfortable wearing my guy clothes too. It's really all about how I feel mentally, which sways like a pendulum from each end of the spectrum. Some days are butch. Some days are very feminine. There's no catch all. You are unique!

Honestly, I had a similar situation growing up, and it wasn't until I got my own apartment that I finally was able to dress with some peace of mind. I'd say experiment and find out what you like. No one else's experience can or will define how trans you are.

[Guest]

I never cross-dressed either. Partially it was lack of opportunity, but even more, it was my own personal transphobia. Perhaps 10 years ago, my wife was throwing away a dress that I managed to retrieve and hide. But just a glance at myself in that dress was enough to make me take it off in disgust. All that changed about three years ago when I couldn't live in denial any more.

It's a bit of a challenge, trying to catch up. No fashion sense, no idea of makeup, mannerisms, well... everything! Luckily for me, my wife has been unbelievably supportive and has taught me most of what I need to know.

Last year, my job became overtaxing and I worked seven-day weeks for about half of the year. I was too tired to dress when I came home, and really stopped transitioning, and stopped dressing. It wasn't as bad as one might imagine. After having gotten started, I knew who I was, and found enough peace with knowing for myself. But 6 months of that were enough and I completed transition in the next year.

So, is it necessary to cross-dress? That's an answer you have to decide for yourself. Nobody is saying that it's a requirement. Do what works for you! But, I would also recommend that you give it a whirl... You may discover things about yourself that you don't know now!

Good luck!

Love, Megan

[Guest Stacey Sim]

i dont remember when i started cross dressing i started wearing my sisters clothes, playing with her dolls n stuff, all i can remember was i was very young

strange really because my sister was the only one that understod me she lent me her clothes (luv u sis xxx r.i.p).. i allway felt like i was a tomboy tho, im still quite tomboyish now but in a more girly way

Stace

[Guest apostate79]

Right now I've been attending meetings of a local trans support group, and I'm like the odd one out because I'm the only one in the group who has never really cross-dressed.

[Guest apostate79]

i dont remember when i started cross dressing i started wearing my sisters clothes, playing with her dolls n stuff, all i can remember was i was very young

strange really because my sister was the only one that understod me she lent me her clothes (luv u sis xxx r.i.p).. i allway felt like i was a tomboy tho, im still quite tomboyish now but in a more girly way

Stace

Oh my god, for some reason that kind of set me off so I am going to try my hardest to be civil: Good for you but if that story really adds nothing to the topic at hand, and does not help me with my concerns whatsoever. Please, the internet is full of autobiographies of trans ladies who all share the similar narrative of dressing like girls from their earliest youth, if i truly cared i could read any one of those.

Recently I viewed a video on youtube made by a young translady, who was giving he opinion on the topic of "de-transitioners". Her position was basically generalizing that someone who de-transitions was "maybe not really transsexual, maybe that person was just a cross-dresser". Personally I disagreed with that statement for several reasons, but it also left me to ask, "but what about someone who maybe de-transitions but yet has never cross-dressed either?"

After every thing else that I have gone through so far, still at this point all I know for certain is what I am NOT.

I know that not every cross-dresser is a transsexual, but it seems that cross-dressing still seems to be one of the requirements. Every other transgirl I have met so far share the same history of life-long dressing, while meanwhile the only item of female clothing I own is one top, which I only purchased a couple months ago and have since worn a total of two times. If there is anything that makes me doubt the strongest about me being truly transsexual it is this, so please forgive me if I come off as a little bit agitated about this.

[Guest Melissa~]

Do you object to feminine dress and why? This can equally be turned into why don't I like male attire and why. To be certain dressing in ones gender is only a facet of being that gender. One can insert limitless exclusions of why in this exercise. At some point the proper response would be to smack a person that purports this idea to be a serious interview. I can indicate some professionals such as my endocrinologists delved into my gender presentation history, while the therapist takes a neutral stance and let's me state I am MtF.

I find the different approaches from professionals peculiar, but I expect showing no history of gender presentation would not have gotten treatment started from my endocrinologist. They both have thirty years experience in the local region treating TS conditions. Basically the endos short psychoanalysis, is an attempt to glean a different confirmation of the same recommendation that the therapist offered, while flat out asking "how much public presentation as a female have you done." In logic programming breaking a series of "and" conditions including history and future of female public presentation may cause exceptions to be raised, based on their CYA experience.

[Guest apostate79]

I'm not sure where you would get that idea that I would somehow "object" to "feminine dress"... it's just an urge that I ever acted on. For all the reasons that I already gave, it was a risk I never felt was worth taking. That sucks that your endo would power trip like that. Doctors can be real [problematical]

Edited December 21, 2012 by ~Brenda~
Deleted explicative

[Guest Robin Winter]

I never dressed in womens clothing either until I felt I was in an environment where it was safe for me to do so. There were instances where I tried things on, but that sort of thing was incredibly rare and never lasted more than a few minutes. I don't feel it in any way means I'm not really a transgirl, it just means, like you, I felt it was too risky. I was raised to feel certain things were wrong, and childhood indoctrinations tend to stick with us. I think there are as many examples of transpeople that didn't act on their feelings until later in life as those that started early. Many don't even realize they have those feelings until later in life, and there are plenty examples of that here at Lauras. Denial is a powerful thing.

[Guest (Lightsider)]

I am not sure I can say I really crossed dressed either. I mean I did but not to where it was a must do thing. When I first transitioned I went as fem as possible but where I am at now I just dress comfortably. If I don't have to wear makeup I just don't. I am probably average to a tomboy when it comes to dress. I think the biggest milestone some one can each is to just be comfortable...no matter what you are wearing with who you are. Cross dressing is not a pre-requisite for being trans. There just too many variables to be considered.