Not quite drug abuse, but there's not a better place to put this, so...

[Guest Itzika]

I'm addicted to online role-playing games. I discovered them about two years ago and within two months they had eaten my life. I managed to quit in May of last year, but I miss them. A lot. The thing is, they were a safe place to present however I wanted, and a place where I could talk to people easily, even if neither of us was actually using our real name or persona. They were the best community I had for a long time. And I can't use them anymore, and it gets lonely. I'm on leave from college, I don't have a job, and there's nowhere I go every day, so I don't see anyone besides my mom on a regular basis. I want to just go on for an hour, pick up one of my old characters and see who bites. But I can't go on for an hour, because by the time I get off it'll be time to go to bed. I know this about me. I've tried limiting myself, and it doesn't work.

...I don't know what the point of posting here is. I just want to play, and I can't, and now I need to talk about it.

[Michelle 2010]

Thank you for posting on this important topic Itzika. If another mod thinks this belongs in Gaming its ok to move it but I agree with the OP that it is an addiction issue.

When my son was 12-15 years old I was very concerned about his gaming habits and did a little online research as to what i suspected was very much addictive behavior. He and his best friend would be CONSUMED by playing, and in 2000-2006 the games were good but not as realistic as today. Not only did the games dominate their waking hours and become a source of friction regarding homework and chores, they became all night sessions in which i would get up in the morning to go to work and they would stilll be playing fromm the night before. Futhermore, if I shut the games down, they had psychological withdrawls, becoming edgy, restless and irritable.

When the magic Drivers Licence came into play, they greatly reduced the play. But before that occurred, I often wondered whether, when they looked back at their childhoods many years from that point in time, what their memories would be... sitting in front of a computer or TV and gaming, or remember being out exploring and interacting with the world....

Excellent topic. Thanks for bringing it up. I'm still wondering if it should be placed elsewhere, since many on this site may have the issue but not frequent this subforum since they don't consider themselves addicts...

How to fill the 4-14 hours a day that are left empty if the game is shut off... It will be interesting to see what people think.

Regards

Michelle

[Guest Robin Winter]

I have that problem as well. I spent all my free time in Runescape, for years. My marriage was, lets just say it was not in good shape. Honestly, I still enjoy the game, but my current strategy involves taking long breaks from it. Like, I'll subscribe for maybe half a year, then not play for half a year, something like that. It's probably not a very good strategy...to be honest, because when I'm subscribing I still spend too much time playing it, but I haven't come up with anything better yet that worked.

[Guest Amanda Whyte]

I have that problem too. I think mine is looking for a place to feel I truly belonged. For most of my life it was pen and paper role playing games, ie Dungeons and Dragons; but last few years it has been FaceBook games where I can at least chat with "friends". Being brutally honest now it is Laura's Playground. I am just seeking a place to "belong".

[Michelle 2010]

Maybe that's why I like 12 step recovery! It has all the elements... Life, death, courage, fear, love, god, despair, hope, overcoming obstacles, grappling with personal demons, helping others, lighting candles in the darkness...

I've never looked at the parallels before. Of course, gaming is essentially synthetic life with all the ups and downs, right?

Michelle

[VickySGV]

Gambling, which gaming closely mimics is a known Process Addiction that is recognized by Addiction Medicine experts. It has been shown to affect the same "old brain" nerve centers that chemical addictions affect, and in the same ways. There is a Gamblers Anonymous organization that does in fact use a 12 step recovery program. They may be a little quizzical when you first talk to them, but "I'm betting" they won't throw you out of the meeting. Money is not involved in gaming (always) but the other mental processes of taking risks and reaping rewards, and the total immersion that takes you away from reality is all there. I personally know recovering gambling addicts and they avoid the gaming behaviors like I avoid gin and beer.

The other best known Process Addiction is nymphomania.

[Guest Inverse]

Was addicted to World of Warcraft for years. My cure for it? Found an outdoor community that allowed me to volunteer and have lots of fun. I got out more and it was a real big bonus for me. The psy and rave communities have been really good for me too. I've spent more time in the woods than in front of a computer, and that's good.

There's nothing wrong with games, there really isn't~ I plan on playing Guild Wars 2 soon, but I educated myself on the game. Games like WoW and Runescape hook you, because they have a 15 dollar a month fee that they want to sustain, so they add things like reputation grinds and the like to have you keep playing them. Yet, I noticed games like Call of Duty, Diablo, Madden are very popular, but people aren't addicted to them like MMORPG players are (well, most of them) because those don't have the soft mechanics that keep one addicted with very little payoff.

Gaming should be entertainment. There is nothing wrong with entertainment in moderation. Some people spend their evenings watching TV and Netflix. Some do it over games, and some are addicted to books (no really!), but as long as it's entertaining, and not replacing other activitieis, you should be ok. Quitting gaming cold turkey can be difficult. So I recommend trying a game that has solid, short term goals instead of a "grind". Grinding is like gambling. Waiting for the next big payoff. Play a game with a story. Something with a clear ending. Something with a friend so you can set limits. That's my recommendation. You can always just quit gaming altogether, but some people just don't find that realistic.

The ultimate goal is to be happy, functional and building experiences worth remembering. I spent nearly 4-5 years playing WoW, I had fun~ but I regret a lot of it. Those are good memories, but memories I could have spent bettering myself, or improving my relationships. Be wise, have fun, and stay healthy.

[Michelle 2010]

You are providing a glimpse of a world I really know nothing about Inverse. Thanks for doing so. By "soft mechanics" I assume you mean you gain points or rewards towards a goal that you will lose if you quit playing? Heck, I didn't even know you had to pay to play lol! I thought you dropped $70 into a game and just went crazy on it. Didn't realize there were monthly charges.

I really appreciate Amanda's honesty in her post too. I know there is a game, (name eludes me), which simulates Life and in which people invest large amounts of time... It sounds sadly futuristic and Sc Fi, like a mutant version of Orwell's 1984 or some such thing....

Reality is sometimes too much work, lol! I have been in many houses where the kids are sitting in a jumble of messy poverty and don't care as long as they can escape into a video game... I used to tease my son and his friend that the technology was here to put a jack in their necks and do a direct link to their game, bypassing the controllers. I guess The Matrix convered that topic pretty well, huh?

Lastly, I agree, Inverse, the woods are a wonderful place to be... Many parts of Reality are worth heartily embracing

Michelle

[Guest Jynx C]

My name is Jynx and I too am an MMO gaming addict. I played them so much that I got sick of them; then I played them some more until I really found them completely intolerable because I'm masochistic like that. Afterwards, I found playing board games socially with real life friends helped me feel a sense of community and helped me be a lot more limited on how much time I spent on gaming.

MMO's were a great place to gain a false sense of accomplishment while I was struggling with life at large. Also they helped me feel accepted as female. I don't want to make the judgment of whether I have regrets because what is past is past, but I feel like it was most healthy to accept the consequences of my situation and to take with me what I learned in the past as I change for the future.

[Charlize]

Cool topic, I'm too old to have gotten hooked there but can understand the desire to be me with no risks of rejection. These rooms allow for that. Perhaps by opening up here you can get past the dishonest part of that and enjoy the "real" you without fear. Its a step towards freedom and serenity.

Hugs, Charlie