1st joint GT appointment

[Guest Amanda Whyte]

Update on first joint GT appointment with my wife... Lot's of tears and fears. My therapist mainly talked to my wife and tried to go over lots of concerns that spouses have. Talked about my wife possibly being concerned about being considered a lesbian (which my wife said she hasnt even thought about). Talked about children and how resilient they are (which my wife didnt say a word for but I know is a major fear of hers). Talked about knowing the true me and getting closer (which is something else my wife never said a word about). My wife mentioned a big fear of hers is wanting others to continue to see us as a husband, wife, and 2 children. My therapist mainly just said that that was a legitimate fear. My wife also brought up the fact my son has aspergers and she thinks I have it to. My therapist said that there could be lots of problems that I need to work on but Gender Identity is, in her experience, a problem that needs to be resolved before others could really be worked on. After we left, my wife and I didnt have much time before she needed to go to pick my son up. The things she mentioned to me during that time was the fact the therapist kept saying "when he transitions" instead of "if". That really upset and frightened my wife. She also said she didnt like the fact I hardly was asked a question. Her final words, besides the I love you's and goodbye's was that it ended up like she was worried it would; she came out more scared then when she went in.

[JJ]

Your wife is going through a lot and perhaps ger real fear was that she would be forced to face the realities evemn more. Which was inevitable really.

it will still need a lot of love and time and patience to assimilate and then accept and adjust to, as I am sure you know.

This point is almost always a rough ride but you seem to be taking it in stride and working hard to make it the best it can be for all concerned. It's going to take awhile-and nothing for it but to go through this rough time-but it will pass and you will feel so much better when it has. Just keep reassuring her you love her and communicating honestly. To me it seems to be the key in the relationships that make it through.

Hugs

Johnny

[Guest Mia J]

Hi Mandy it sounds like mixed results.

Remember that at a joint session like this your therapist can not really bring up anything the two of you have talked about unless you are the one to bring it up. Your spouse has a lot to digest now that she has talked to someone other than yourself about the GID issues so like Johnny says you need to give her lots of time while giving her all of the support and understanding you can.

Mia

[Guest Shari]

Hi Mandy,

It sounds like you're trying your hardest to help her. Good for you.

Hugs,

Shari

[Guest Amanda Whyte]

Thanx yall. I am trying to help and support her as much as possible. I hated the look of fear on her face and tried to help her as much as possible.