The continuing Saga of Gabrielle

[MackenzieB]

In my email at work this past week I received a notification. Usually get several per week about things happening at the VA. Typically it's a glance and delete sort of affair as everybody in the Medical Center gets all of those things. This one was different. It's about a "Lunch & Learn" in a couple of weeks. It's being given by 3 Doctors from the Psych department. The topic will be Transgender Veterans. So naturally it caught my interest.

I emailed the person who's name was on the notice and inquired if staff from a non participating dept could attend. Not so much for the lunch but I have an interest in the info being presented. I also put in the email that I'm a Transgendered Vet and a staff member as well. She responded that anybody can attend these training events.

Oh... One small problem with that. The meeting room is only 50 feet from the door to our department and I'm not fulltime at work. Attending this could out me sooner than I'm comfortable.

I thought about that for a day. And got a bit dysphoric over it. My plan was to wait until May to do anything as my one year probationary period is over than. Who else but the Federal Government would do a one year probation on all of their employees?

Anyway, after being bothered by this for a day, on Thursday just prior to quitting time I went to my department head's (our Chief Clinical Engineer) office and knocked on her door. I inquired if she was going to be at work on Friday and I desired to have a short conversation if it was convenient for her. I informed her that it wasn't due to any problems or concerns.

So Friday morning She stopped by my work area and and asked if 3pm would work for me. I told her that would be great. My direct supervisor leaves at 3 and I really didn't want him around for our conversation anyway.

3:00 comes and I headed to her office. And who's standing there? My supervisor. He had his jacket and hat on, ready to leave but was standing right at her door. He looked at me and states "Oh that's right. You have a 3 o'clock meeting". Darn it. He knew. I looked at him, smiled a little and acknowledged that I did. He bid everybody a good weekend and head out the door.

I asked if it was still a good time and that I'd only be in her office a few minutes. She invited me in, told me to have a seat and then she closed the door.

I told her that I could hem and haw, beat around the bush but it just wasn't worth it. I said that I'd been to the Equal Opportunity office (EEOC) and had conversed with the manager there on numerous occasions for the past 9 months. Initially they had said that they would do this meeting but backed out just last week as they felt that their presenting it might seem a bit forceful. So I basically was left to my own devices unless I was really uncomfortable, then they would attend with me.

And at that point I just blurted out "I'm Transgender and I'm transitioning". Her response was "Oh, OK." There really isn't anything anybody can do about it now anyway. Obama signed a declaration last November protecting all Federal employees who are Trans. And in December OPM (Office of Personnel Management) opened an Office of Diversity and Inclusion to protect and keep those of us who are minority, regardless of reason.

And so, she opens her organizer and pulls out a sheet of paper, the front full of writing and the back half full. "I had a feeling that this was what this meeting might be about, so I wrote a few emails". She then launches into a huge laundry list of things I have to do. Name change, picking out which restroom to use, general dress code stuff and to be careful with jewelry around high voltage devices (servicing xray equipment) and to let her know when I was going to start presenting at work. A few of the items I corrected her on such as the right point of contact in HR, and her procedure for name change was all wrong for Washington State.

She told me that I should tell my supervisor as he's really my boss, she's his boss. And that if I wanted she would be present for that meeting. I also need to think about how and when to tell the entire department. EEOC said that they'd definitely be there to help out with that. They're going to handle all of the educating of my coworkers and gently inform them of what they will be doing and what they will not be doing. EEOC is kind of the policing force for harassment of employees. And when they deem it necessary, they can get rid of people. Good folks to be friendly with from my point of view.

She then very nicely thanked me for telling her, and that I have her complete support.

She said that she'd already heard about me being Trans.

[Cyndee]

It was great to hear this story in person today Gabrielle and now read it here.

Best wishes with all the changes and coming out at work.

Hugs

Cindy -

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

Sounds like you're home free!

In Tampa, when I worked downtown as a paralegal, I rode the bus for years with two guys who worked for The EEOC. They are very much The Real Deal. Sounds like a major win for you! This REALLY rocks!

Please, keep us posted, okay.

Peace & Joy Lacey Lynne

Postscript:

When we talked about this last summer, I believe then that you'd be totally okay with everything. Sounds like you majorly will be. Simply outstanding!

[Guest Svenna]

Wow!

That is HUGE!

Congratulations, Gabrielle!!!

Svenna

[MackenzieB]

Thanks for the kind words. This really occurred very suddenly and months ahead of when I originally had planned. But I guess it just came down to the matter of my possibly inadvertantly outting myself in some haphazard style, or taking control of going fulltime in the workplace in an organized manner. The biggest issue I previously had was work acceptable clothes. But over the past few months I've been buying lots of stuff with that in mind so I should be ok.

As far as the original training event, I'll post what they had to present after I attend the session. It may be of interest to some.

In regards to Federal employment of Transgendered people, here is the link to the official statement from the U.S. Office of Personnel Management and their stand on the continued employment and hiring practices of Trans folks. It breaks it down in fairly good detail as to what a Federal Agency will do when an employee announces that they are transitioning. It's really great for us. I wish that every company had this same point of view...

http://www.opm.gov/diversity/Transgender/Guidance.asp

[Guest Michellewhois]

Just wanted to add my congrats and to thank you for posting that link to OPM. It could come in handy.

[Guest]

Hi Gabby,

There! I've said it - Whew! You know how name-challenged I am. Caitlin isn't going away any time soon!

I am so happy that you were able to make that step. We (soulmate and I) have watched you progress ever closer and still agonize over the day - so happy that it's done.

So... middle name? More to do. Aint it fun?

Love, Megan

[Guest Gregg Jameson]

Congratulations, Gabrielle!

Thanks so much for sharing your experience!

Love and Support,

Brad

[MackenzieB]

Hi Gabby,

There! I've said it - Whew! You know how name-challenged I am. Caitlin isn't going away any time soon!

I am so happy that you were able to make that step. We (soulmate and I) have watched you progress ever closer and still agonize over the day - so happy that it's done.

So... middle name? More to do. Aint it fun?

Love, Megan

Thanks for your support, you guys are awesome! Middle name is something I hadn't placed much thought on. Going with Gabrielle is growing on me. I was going to look some more but everybody who's given me feedback seems to like it as well. If I stick with family traditions, my middle name would be Irene. I've no idea who Irene was and since we've already broke that tradition with my daughter's name I don't see a need to follow it. I'll figure something out. Or simply go without.

[MackenzieB]

Ok, After some more looking, I'm not going with Gabrielle. It just doesn't fit me. The name for my upcoming legal name change (real soon, probably the 22nd) has been decided on and the forms are filled out. Work is cool with my going fulltime and my ever patient Wife is cool with the name and my finally going fulltime and getting this horrible aspect of my life behind me. I know what I need for the Driver's license and SSN name change.

I'm just waiting on my Doc. I was able to bump up my appointment a week. But I've been on hrt in the past and got thrown under the bus by a quack Doc. My current one is good. I'm not expecting any issues. But if he denies me that prescription refill, I've no idea what I'll do. I can't detransition again. I just don't have it in me to go through that crap a second time. ...

I'm crying just thinking about that possibility...

[Guest Donna Jean]

Thanks for the kind words. This really occurred very suddenly and months ahead of when I originally had planned.

LOL.....,Silly mortal! You had a plan?

You think that you can align the randomness of the universe? BAWA ha ha ha ha ....

Great stuff, Hon!

It's not your plan, but, good stuff anyway.....

It seems that it rarely works the way we plan.....

But, as long as the outcome is good....go with the flow!

BIGG HUGGS!

Dee Jay

[MackenzieB]

And so the pace quickens. My department head has pretty much grabbed oversight of my transitioning at work. I sent her an email today just to let her know that I've a Doc's appointment on the 21st (Woot! He's going to fill out my change of gender marker for the driver's license) and I'm planning on goiing to court for the legal name change on the 22nd. She responded that I have to tell my supervisor and she'd like that to occur this week. I replied that this week had been my planned period to tell him but I'm working at a different VA campus all week. I hit send and within 2 minutes she sent me a meeting request for next Monday @ 8:30am. She wanted to know if I wanted her present and that I had to decide if EEOC should be present at the meeting when I tell the entire department. I stated that if she wasn't busy I'd appreciate her presence even if only for moral support. I told her that I had talked (again) to EEOC and they said that they'd attend the meeting with the department. I'm thankful for that as they can do a much better presentation due to my lack of experience.

I've been fretting about the Doc's appointment. This is probably due to the fact that I was kicked off of hrt in the past. The idea of now being so close and a repeat of that has been keeping me extremely worried. So I sent the Doc an email last night (He's such a sweetie!) and he replied that he knew of no reason for that to occur. He stated that as far as he's concerned I'm doing great with the Estradiol. I thanked him, his affirmation was just what I needed. So it looks like I'll be full time and happily transitioning along in all areas of my life in just a couple of weeks. It's going to seem like a long couple of weeks.

[MackenzieB]

Well, saw the Doc today. Still on Estradiol and doing fine. He raised the dosage 50%. Tomorrow it's off to court for the name change, Department of Licensing for the new DL and then Social Security. Next Wednesday the whole department and myself have a meeting to explain my "coming out" and then March 5th it's all a done deal.

[Cyndee]

Great news on your Doc visit. More juice please.

Good luck with all the doc changes.

See ya soon

C -

[MackenzieB]

Everything's done. Legally Mackenzie now with a new DL and Social Security card on the way. I'm worn out, it was a busy day.

[MackenzieB]

Well the first day has come and gone. It was pretty much a non event. Some people were curious about what I would be looking like and I did get a bit nervous due to that. Got a lot of smiles from people as I was wandering the halls in my travels. The guy who I thought would be the worst turned out to be the nicest person. He works in the Anesthesia department. He made a point of telling me that if I need anything or just want to talk to somebody, to look him up. He repeated it a couple of times. I thought that was really sweet of him. I only came across one couple who were obviously giving me the evil eye. I just smiled at them and went on my way.

[Cyndee]

Congrats !!

Cindy -