Hi There

[Guest erica2054]

i started dressing on and off since i was 6 - of course in mom's lingerie - i really didnot know what i was doing 0 but i know i enjoyed it - Dressing progressed and then started dressing in my sisters clothes too> i think my mom know about it - but no one mentioned anything. When i was married i started dressing again excited that my wife had some sexy lingerie - of course she did not of my dressing - i stayed in the closet< SInce the internet started i have progress -i know buy my own clothers met 2 other cd - we just talked for hours = and i have still not told my wife= i really think she would freak. I am now 56 - and i know one day i have to tell my wife- i love dressing and enjoy shopping for female clothes = and thanks to the other cd i have chatted with on the internet i now know i am normal -

[Sally]

Hi Erica,

Welcome to the group. We seem to have started out about the same way and are about the same age. I will tell you that I can not stress the importance of telling your wife too much. Keeping secrets is hard to do and when they are discovered, she comes home and finds you dressed - it is quite a shock. It also erodes trust - what else are you keeping a secret. I am a transsexual and I had reached the point that I knew that I had to transition no matter what the costs - I didn't want to lose my wife, but I had to tell her, as my therapist said, "You can wait as long as you want to tell people, even your wife - but when you've been on the hormones for a while, well when you've got breasts, you've got breasts!" If you don't tell your wife and you try to keep it a secret, one day she will find you dressed or some of your clothing and her first reaction to seeing you dressed will probably be to want to get away, she is totally unprepared and on finding say a bra that isn't hers or your pantyhose, she will assume that they belong to another woman. Don't force her to find out the wrong way and jump to conclusions. Tell her and be prepared with websites, books and lots of facts about crossdressing - one of her main concerns will be, "are you leaving me?" Those were the first words from my wife - the thought is that transsexuals have a 'sex change' so that they can go have sex with people of their previous sex - some do, but not all and that cross dressers are trying to attract people of the same sex, they don't know why you dress - it is for you and how you feel. I intended all along to stay with my wife and to my joy she wants to. Let her know that you aren't interested in any one else and that you want to stay with her and help her to try to understand what Gender Identity Issues really are. It is hard for some one who doesn't have those 'wrong body' feelings to understand and you have felt the need to crossdress for many decades - she will be totally new to it, be patient and give her time.

Be open and if she really loves you, she will make every effort to understand. Some wifes of cross dressers actually go with them to help them pick out their wardrobe - let her be involved as much as she wants to, but never push.

Best of luck,

Sally

[Guest Sarah Dreams]

and i have still not told my wife= i really think she would freak. I am now 56 - and i know one day i have to tell my wife- i love dressing and enjoy shopping for female clothes = and thanks to the other cd i have chatted with on the internet i now know i am normal -

Hi, Erica.

I too am older. I am fifty and am glad to know that there are more of us in the mature age range than ever I thought. I hope you wife will understand. Take it slow and learn what you can about coming out from those with experience. I came out to my wife much to soon and, yes, she freaked. But we are still together, she did not pack up and leave, so I'm taking that as a good sign.

Welcome, Sarah.

[MaryEllen]

Hello Erica,

Welcome to Laura's Playground. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I can't elaborate any more on what Sally has already said except to say, be open and honest with her and hopefully she can come to accept this. Good luck.

MaryEllen

[Guest Drew]

hi Erica welcome to the forums. it's nice to have you here.