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Guest AdenAngel

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Guest AdenAngel

Conflict. How do you deal with it?

Because I being a high school realise even without this there's drama and all that crap, but ever since I've started coming out publiclly it's gotten worse. Granted I have a solid base of good friends who support me, but I live in a suburb. You know suburban areas are...well pretty closed minded. So I didn't expect everyone to deal well and I'm ok with that.

Well I was, until last week. These guys i used to talk to and have had a few classes with came up to me in the parking lot, teasing me, I'm walking to my friend's car trying to ignore it. Then one of them shoved me. You know how those groups have leaders. Yea it was that one too. So I turn and say. "Man, and I thought your mother taught you some manners." in as calm a voice as I could manage. Granted the tone was calm I couldve said something else.

He scowls at me and says. "I don't know what you're talking about. It's not like you're a pregnant dog are you, Aden?" obviously mocking me.

I turn to just get in the car and he shoves me against the door. "I don't want to fight you," I said.

He laughed. "Grow some testicles!" And I turned around glaring by then and gave him a slight shove back and said. "I'm serious I don't want to fight you."

He went to punch me and I ducked grabbing his fist and pushing back to try and use his own force against him. It didn't work very well and the fight ended with my friend pulling us off each other.

I don't like fighting, but I'm also not tolerant of being belittled. Not sure how to deal with this kind of conflict, nobody has ever approached me violently before now. It was reall just a petty high school fight, not serious, but still.

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Guest Luturna

I know this sounds bad and others will disagree with me but I'll tell you what worked for me just dealing with bullies.

Fighting isn't the answer but what I did could come to it but then it will never be again. Find the group leaders insecurity's and the next time he does try to belittle you use them on him in front of the group he is with. Make sure you take no prisoners and use all ammo. He will get ashamed and may back down but then may also get to boiling point where a fight could and if so make sure even if your hurt make him come off worse. If they know you won't back down they will stop.

I know not everybody will agree this is the best solution but it worked for me and after that day nobody did anything to me until I left school (2 years from the altercation) apart from the jokey jibe which is nothing really.

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