Jump to content

  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Pass or Fail

Guest Shelley Anne

By Guest Shelley Anne,
in Passing As Your Target Gender

Recommended Posts

Guest Michaele

Guest Michaele

Posted
Posted

I've always been of the mind set that to succeed at transition you had to "pass".

Now let me give you a bit of background. I've been a closet TS my whole life and in August when my last and final wife left I decided it's time to be ME. So I got on the forums here and started finding local Trans support. I also started dressing in my appropriate gender most of the time other than work or interacting with my kids. My social calendar is usually quite full and darned if work doesn't interfere with my social life. Anyway I began hanging with friends and yes most of the time in broad daylight and in crowded situations. I am enjoying my freedom and having the time of my life.

Along came a Sunday, again going out with a good friend of mine to breakfast. After the meal the waiter said "anything else I can get for you ladies?". What did he say to us? Ladies???? OMG I'm on cloud nine, I'm grinning from ear to ear. We than went to an art show I had purchased tickets for on line. We got to the venue and first off it was men to the right ladies to the left for pat down searches. WHAT?? Ok those got waived whew, but went to get the tickets at will call and they wanted to see PHOTO ID, oh crap. I went from the highest of highs, to the lowest of low. Got out the ID guy looked at the name glanced at the picture and said OK.

Sunday night after having a good weekend I came to the realization tomorrow morning "he" has to go to work and I don't want to go back into the closet!!!!! Normally I'm the go to girl for friends when they get down and depressed, it never happens to me ..... WRONG!!!!!! So I was making my dinner and texting my friend Charlie, when It hit me full force like nothing I have ever felt before and I began to cry and could not stop. Charlie texted me, I needed to get out of the house and I should get to his house and we'd do dinner. So I composed myself and went to his house. At dinner he basically talked me off the ledge like I had done with so many other friends. We went to his house and chatted until 1 a.m., I finally decided I could survive this.

Flash forward

I recently switched GT's and on our second meeting she asked me what my ultimate goal was. I thought about it for a bit and she said do you want to "PASS"? My answer was no, I don't want to "pass", I want to blend in, be just another woman in the crowd. I've told her I still see the guy in the mirror although I do get glimpses of ME every now and again. My friends say I've changed and look good, (friends are being kind???? I still see the guy!!!) People at work I haven't seen in a while comment on how they hardly recognized me and did I lose weight or what was it (could my friends be right?? I still see him).

Today I had the kids out to the donut shop before we went to the sportsmen club to shoot league. I'm in male mode for the kids yet, but my hair is getting a nice length, I wear captive ball earrings, three left and two right, I had on jeans and a Harley t shirt. We were in a booth and in walks a couple, they get their order and head for the booth behind us. As they pass the husband comments to my kids "is grand ma taking good care of you?" My mind goes "HUH?" "WHAT?" did he say what I thought he said????? He must have my, 11yr old son immediately told him, "that's our dad". Grand ma indeed, but I am old enough to be my kids grand ma. I could not stop grinning!!!!! Of course my oldest was all embarrassed by it and kept looking funny at me the rest of the day.

Could it be, is it possible that ...... Know what, I can now see ME when I look in the rear view mirror, I just saw ME in the full length mirror and if I look hard maybe I can see "him", nope it' all me and you know what???? Do I pass? IDK, but can I fit in? Heck yes. Now my problem is trying to look male when I'm at work, Ill let you know how that works out. LOL

One Happy Girl

or Grand Mother

Love Ya'll

Shelley

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
JJ Gold Member

JJ

Posted
  • Forum Moderator
Posted

Congratz Shelley!

It's wonderful when we at last begin to be able to see ourselves in the mirror and other people only see the real us. A euphoria that never really goes away. Sometimes I still see the ghost in the mirror. But less often and weaker.

Impossible dreams really do come true. I am so happy for you that you have reached this point.

Hugs

Johnny

Link to comment
Guest rikkicd64

Guest rikkicd64

Posted
Posted

Great story Shelley,I love hearing about good,positive steps others have made.And I like that term"do I fit in",really,that's all that I want to do,is just fit in.I will go out tommorrow with that thought in mind,thanks a bunch.

Rikki.... :thumbsup:

Link to comment
Guest Michaele

Guest Michaele

Posted
Posted

Rikki,

I think that's the whole secret to it, don't pass, just fit in. I've been living like that for the past month and no pays any more attention to me than the next woman on the street.

Big Hugs

Shelley

Link to comment
Guest rikkicd64

Guest rikkicd64

Posted
Posted

Michaele,because of what you stated,I went out today and had a wonderful time,I've sat on the bed tonite smileing at myself in the mirror,wow,I've got a beautiful smile.Thanks again bunches.

Rikki...... :friends:

Link to comment
Guest rikkicd64

Guest rikkicd64

Posted
Posted

Rikki,

Outstanding, it's the attitude and now you own it so have fun with it.

Great Big Hug

Shelley

Thanks again Shelley,bless you on your journey,I love being a woman!

Rikki... :friends:

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...
Guest Shelley Anne

Guest Shelley Anne

Posted
Posted

Thought I add a post script to this thread. As some of you may observe I've changed my log in name. BTW that's then one I submitted to the court for official name change. woo hoo, If you look in the gallery your can see progression from last August when I started HRT, to my present picture, as you may notice, I look different, Heck I don't even recognize me anymore. LOL.

Big Hugs

Shelley Anne

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Go to topic listing

  • Who's Online   8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 171 Guests (See full list)

    • VickySGV
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Susie
    • Birdie
    • Betty K
    • MaeBe
    • Jet McCartney
    • MaryEllen

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.5k

  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,031
    • Most Online
      8,356
    jacobb
    Newest Member
    jacobb
    Joined

  • Today's Birthdays

    1. BraxtonLee
      BraxtonLee
      (26 years old)
    2. Bryanna
      Bryanna
      (45 years old)
    3. Jayde1
      Jayde1
    4. Mireya
      Mireya
      (66 years old)
    5. Shellianne_Kay83
      Shellianne_Kay83
      (41 years old)

  • Posts

    • VickySGV
      OK Governor Signs School Bathroom Bill Into Law

      By VickySGV · Posted

      As I read this one, it is only for school bathrooms.  I hope he has signed a bill to triple the number of "security monitors" on the campuses and up their pay considerably, not to mention some other costly stuff.  Only way is for every school employee, to know the birth certificate information of each student by memory which will require 3 additional months of salary for them all.  It appears the enforcement relies on parental reports obtained from their children which opens so much up.  The kids will end up ALL with wet or soiled underwear while the parents go at each other with weapons over "family honor" over false calls based on childish name calling. 
    • Davie
      What are you listening to today?

      By Davie · Posted

      IMG_2557.mov
    • Davie
      What are you listening to today?

      By Davie · Posted

      Who says Harvard can't dance? This drag queen Harvard student knows her subject by heart and by voice!   IMG_2557.mov
    • Susan R
      OK Governor Signs School Bathroom Bill Into Law

      By Susan R · Posted

      I agree. This law is impractical and impossible to evenly enforce without such ridiculous measures in place. What it will do is stigmatize the trans community in Oklahoma and nothing more but ofc, that’s the only point of it.   If I was in that state and needed a restroom, there’s no chance I’d ever step foot in the men’s restroom because of some law. I know I’m not alone in that thinking. This law won’t stand the test of time.
    • Birdie
      Good morning All. Coffees on.

      By Birdie · Posted

      I asked AI to create an image of myself 30 years younger based off my avatar on another site and this was the result:     Wow! I am amazed how close it got my 30 year old face!
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Project 2025

      By awkward-yet-sweet · Posted

      Quite true.  The amusing thing about opposites is how similar they can be.   My family left Greece because of the conflict between the communists and the militarists/fascists.  
    • Ivy
      OK Governor Signs School Bathroom Bill Into Law

      By Ivy · Posted

      This wouldn't even be a problem if they would just leave us alone.  It is a no-brainer.
    • Ivy
      Good morning All. Coffees on.

      By Ivy · Posted

      OMG.  I'm glad it wasn't worse, and you were able to get on it quickly.  Lots of blood can be scary.
    • Ivy
      Project 2025

      By Ivy · Posted

      Like I said, I'm no tankie, but I do see a world of difference between Joseph Stalin and Bernie Sanders.   If the point is not wanting 'government control' the Right is pretty good at that themselves - as they've been demonstrating lately. This stuff gets complicated.
    • KatieSC
      OK Governor Signs School Bathroom Bill Into Law

      By KatieSC · Posted

      So, I am curious. Is the Governor going to mandate vaginal or penile recognition photos before one enters the restroom? Considering the Governor has no balls to do the right thing, will he have to pee against a tree outside? Inquiring minds would like to know. I love it when the job recruiters contact me about the wonderful jobs available in Oklahoma. It is so much fun telling them there is no way I will ever go to Oklahoma. When there are no workers, then they can shutter the place.
    • Jet McCartney
      If you could talk for 1 hour about any topic without preparation, what would it be?

      By Jet McCartney · Posted

      Ngl, probably Sonic the Hedgehog, the Beatles, or the Monkees. Those are the three subjects I know the most about so I could drop hours of info on them. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      What historical personm would you like to have dinner with?

      By Carolyn Marie · Posted

      Isaac Asimov, Albert Einstein and Robert Kennedy, in that order.
    • christinakristy2021
      What historical personm would you like to have dinner with?

      By christinakristy2021 · Posted

      Robert E. Lee
    • Ashley0616
      Good morning All. Coffees on.

      By Ashley0616 · Posted

      Thank you! I'm out of coffee so I have been drinking hot tea instead. Looking forward to the 1st. It's crazy that we are almost in May. This year has flown by really quick! Good to hear that y'all got to sleep in. Hope you have a good weekend too!
    • Ashley0616
      Acceptance

      By Ashley0616 · Posted

      It's nice to care about others but you need to live your life as you please. No one be your only source of happiness. Love yourself and don't look back. I lost over 40 family members it hurts but apparently, they didn't truly love me. True love will always be there through the thick and thin. I can honestly say that HRT has made me think in ways that I never thought I would. I get myself some shoes or clothes every month because retail therapy not only helps but it is a reward to myself to show love. I have over 100 dresses. I have a whole walk-in-closet full of clothes and 67 pairs of shoes. I love who I am. I was born in 84 so not all people in the 80's think that way. As far as the name just take your time and be happy with it. I knew I loved the name Ashley. Take care and welcome!

  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...