Masculinising with long hair

[Remus]

Is it possible? 'Cause I'm short, have a sizable chest even with my binder, and tend to talk with my hands a lot, so I'm not the most masculine-seeming person out there, no hope of passing, but I've been on T for nine months now.

I don't particularly want to cut my hair, it's shoulder-length (brown hair), but I like being able to tie it back and so on. So is it possible to masculinise in some other way that doesn't involve shorter hair or non-expressive speech, do you know? 'Cause I've been thinking I will have to cut it if I want to start passing...I'm just a wee bit hesitant to.

Ta muchly,

~Remus

[Ravin]

I faced this dilemma when I started masculinizing my everyday appearance. I decided that for me, I'll be able to start growing it again once I have made other physical changes, either chest surgery or T, or feel particularly called to do so. For me this was a particularly hard choice because of of the spiritual significance of hair. Long hair is seen as a sign of personal strength by many in my religion, for people regardless of gender. However, most people aren't of that religion, and cutting off my waist length hair was symbolic of letting go of my attempts to force myself into a feminine/female box.

Of course, most people will probably read less baggage into it. Ultimately, you need to do what is going to make you feel most comfortable in your own skin.

[Guest Lexi Marie]

As someone who loves having long hair apart from being trans, you don't need to cut your hair to appear masculine if you don't want to. I imagine someone will have a little bit more wisdom on appearing masculine than I do, but you definitely don't need to cut your hair

Lexi

[JJ]

When I decided to start living full time I started having to fight the male stereotypes in my head. Especially since my SIL shares my household and he is a hypermacho redneck because as he finally confided a couple of times he doubts his own masculinity. He would now and then say something about men not caring about how they look or if their clothes didn't fit (An issue because a 170lb weight loss means replacing wardrobe frequently. )

I finally turned to him and explained that I have no ambition to be a macho redneck. I am a different kind of man and man enough to care about pleasing myself.

Of course there are things I do question-like ties and the current look in sport coats for instance and he can't help me there never having owned either one.

What I'm really saying is-be your own man. There may be a price for that in how you are perceived but if it's your style then go for it. I had very long hair -and wore it long partly because it was incredibly silky and thick and made me look at least a decade younger. But I also wanted to be perceived as my correct gender and with an hourglass figure and my features it wasn't going to happen with my hair. Besides I have often worn it short too. I liked it male short or very long all my life. So I cut it. I wasn't willing to pay the price to keep it. It also made ME feel more female. That was the right choice for me but may not be for you.

There are plenty of guys out there with long hair. I notice many, if not the majority, wear facial hair with it. That may be an answer unless like me yours just won't work. Too much Native American in my background. My greatest disappointment on T actually.

Be yourself or you will find you have traded one prison for another. I think for men there is an even greater danger of that because society has placed so many restrictions and judgments on men. As if we need to pick a class or type and fit that mold. I refuse. If that outs me-so be it. I'll never play a role again. Male or female. I am male. I know it and I live it. That is enough for me. And seems to be enough for everyone else surprisingly

Johnny

[Guest UnicornGiggles]

Once I've gotten a few things in life sorted, I'm going to grow my hair long again. As much as I love short hair for the summer, I think long hair suits me better.

I have quite a rounded face and long lashes though, so here are the main things I'll do to help reduce the femininity factor of long hair; ideas courtesy of my cismale hippy friends. You can do all or none of these!

1) No fringe/bangs. Because they frame your face, it amplifies any softness. Exceptions are if you want to have that fluffy rocker look (e.g. Mika), but that involves having ear to chin length hair

2) Don't style - no sprays or gels or tongs, etc. Exceptions are if you have really frizzy/curly hair and it drives you nuts (my cismale friend straightens his hair for ages and then musses it up again with wax!)

3) Simple hair cuts. I mean, there's a lot to be said for layering and feathering but it always makes me look instantly female, and I have much more luck if it hangs dead straight with the ends roughly hacked off by hungry goats

4) Hats. There's just something so incredibly awesome about a guy with long hair under his fedora, right? Just me then? Okay...

[Remus]

Thanks for the advice and ideas. I ended up getting my hair cut this morning. It's gone from shoulder-length to kind of pixie-ish. It's still a wee bit long and poofy on the top, but it's the shortest I've had it since I was about two. I figured, I never did anything with it (I'd wash it and tie it back, then take it out when I went to bed), and it's another one of those things where you can test yourself with how comfortable you feel being less-obviously female, and yet there's no pain, and it'll grow back if you don't like it. And it was kind of holding me back to a certain extent, kind of like a female security blanket. But I like it the way it is now (as long as it dries flat. Otherwise it looks like a bad pompadour ), though if I really want long hair again once I'm passing more easily it won't take that long to grow back. Mum and Dad probably won't like it, but I do, so all good.

[Guest Kael147]

Hey remus,

Sounds like you made the decision that was best for you. For me I just like my hair short and I pass much better.

Good work on getting through this hurdle.

Take care,

Kael

[Guest KaelParker]

Long hair parted in the middle is super masculine to me. Looks awesome.

[Guest findthefire]

I am pre-T, have long hair, and I pass all the time.

Aside from washing it daily, I take very little care of it- the ends are split(everyone in my family naturally has very soft hair, and I find that this thickens/masculanizes it quite a bit), I haven't gotten it cut in months, and it hangs in my face 24/7. I have also found that shorter hair that covers much of the cheekbones and brow line is a very useful tool in trying to make yourself pass. But then, I also have very pronounced/masculine facial features.

However.

I completely agree with JJ.

It's YOUR choice, and whether you think your hair will fit your outward, as well as your inward self, is entirely up to you. Be who you want to be. Transitioning is supposed to be about creating an entirely new, or simply a more comfortable version of "you". Have fun with it!