Home From The Hospital, And Out To My Parents!

[Guest Keane]

The past few months I was getting seriously depressed and suicidal over my gender issues, and when I settled on calling myself trans a year ago I had promised myself not to get depressed like that. Anyway, my best friend took me to a school counselor to talk about it, and the school social worker called my mom and told her to hide my medications in case i tried to OD.

I told my parents i needed to go back to the hospital (I was there before for general depression) but didn't say why. My mom was having suspicions and said that she wouldn't support me being a boy but i wouldn't come out to her. In the hospital the other patients in the unit were so supportive of me, and I planned with my social worker the family meeting. I met with each of my parents separately, my moms suspicions were confirmed and agreed to take care of me and take me to support groups. My dad, on the other hand, knew NOTHING about any of this before, though he had slight suspicions that I may be a lesbian, and ended up getting the shock of his life, but supported me as well.

They're not happy about me wanting to be a boy, but they care about my well being, and I trust them more now that I'm out to them, because they're showing they love me more than ever now.

I'm still going by my original plan for transition, because they don't want to start any of the medical stuff since I'm still a minor and want me to stay safe in school and such. But they've agreed to take me to support groups and they;re going to try thei best to start accepting me.

To anyone else planning to come out to your parents, I wish you the best

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

It feels great to be out to your parents, doesn't it? I just came out to my parents and now I finally feel like I can have a real relationship with them. Up until then, it was like they were "those people that fill the role of parents". Now I feel like I can be "real" with them.

That's awesome that your parents are willing to try to understand and accept things as they are. It is good to take things slow at first, I guess. I'm a lot older than you, so my timetable is different. Still, I totally can identify with how you must feel now. Good stuff.

[Guest Keane]

Yeah it feels exactly the same for me to, I didn't have a relationship with them at ALL before, I didn't even feel like I loved them, and now I can be a lot more open It's amazing.

[Guest Evan_J]

I always wonder if parents realize how much they are not having a relationship with us when we're not out? A lot of parents would have you think "think were great, then you came out"?????? I always think "great with who? The non-existent person you had in your hallucination?" lol But to be fair, they can only create that ficticious person when we let them, through silence. Hopefully all of them will realize how much more they actually have us in their life as opposed to before. I'm glad for you. Good deal. And hope it keeps up.

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

In a way, I think my mom realizes that she didn't really know me. I mean, in some ways she knows me better than anyone. She can tell when stuff bothers me even when I won't say. With the trans stuff, she's said that she could sense my deep sadness since adolescence but never knew the cause of it. At that time, I am not sure that I could have said what the cause was either. I literally didn't know what it meant to be transgendered. I really thought all people who were born female hated it as much as I did. The way I saw it was that I "drew a bad lot" and had to cope with it. I never DREAMED that transition was an option.

Over time, I think our parents will get to know the real person within. With my parents, it's all new so they haven't seen how much happier I am. Last time I was home, people commented that I seemed happier and more carefree. They just thought it was because school stuff was going well.

Mostly it just feels REALLY good to not have a big secret anymore. I'm sure a lot of people around here can relate.

[Guest James_]

It'd great to hear that you're feeling better now and are doing so well with your parents. Even at my age (44) it can be scary! I just told my Mom last week, and even though I knew she'd still love me, I was shocked by how accepting she was. I think we don't give those who love us enough credit sometimes. It took me forever to come out to my husband, but not we're both happier... forced into "being" a female I was under so much stress that I was pretty hard to live with, but I'm turning out to be a pretty nice guy.

Not having to hide who you are in your own home is so liberating! And we all know how hard this journey can be, so knowing those who matter to you the most will be there for you makes it so much easier to go on. I feel such sympathy for those who lose their families and friends... I'm humbled by how lucky I am in that. It's good to so so many others as lucky as I!

[Guest Huff]

I really thought all people who were born female hated it as much as I did. The way I saw it was that I "drew a bad lot" and had to cope with it. I never DREAMED that transition was an option.

That's EXACTLY the way I felt.

MK

[Guest Cody_T]

I thought the same exact thing... and since I was always hanging out with tomboyish girls, I figured that girls also disliked all feminine things... so it was quite a shock when I hit puberty and all of a sudden everyone was interested in makeup and dresses and I just wanted to be one of the guys. I was also depressed starting around 5th grade. I can't really say why, but I do know that when I found out what it means to be transgendered, it was kind of like a bell went off in my head.

I hope my parents will at least not be too surprised, because even before I knew I used to throw tantrums over wearing makeup or girl clothes.

that's great that your parents are accepting, and that even if they don't yet they're trying to. It must really liberating to have them know.

[Guest Keane]

Lol growing up i never questioned ANYTHING, just kind of floated through everything without giving much thought, i just thought everything was the way it was and you couldn't change it, i didn't really care when i grew boobs or started my period but after a while, I think when i was 12 i realized what i can change and i just thought, "Okay, I'll get my breasts and ovaries removed." I also got mad when people treated me fem, but i didn't know about gender issues back then and had no way to explain it.

ANYHOO, thanks everyone for your kind words