transman poem

[Guest jay jay the jet plane]

Trans-man

My first pounds the mirror on the wall

Powered by the surfacing anger

Brewing carelessly in my thoughts

Shards of glass

They now pierce my skin

Relieving the red stream

Of frustration

Proving my physical existence

Formerly known as only a reflection

Letting off a warning signal

Pain rushes from deep within my brain

To my knuckles

And I sigh

Sitting on the edge of a pond

Once again, I see a reflection

And tears begin to form

They pool in my eyes then overflow

And drip down my cheeks

Landing in the water,

Making a ripple effect

My reflection looks more real

I like it better when it’s blurry

So I keep crying until I have nothing left

And I walk away from the pond

A knife in hand

Blood from my wrists

Stains the edge victoriously

As I hold up the knife

I see my reflection

One again distorted

From the blood,

Like from the tears,

Like from the broken mirror...

If I’m a man

WHY is my reflection that of a women

I’m looking up at the sky

I’m on my knees

I’m asking WHY???

But there is no answer

I wasn’t expecting one

It was worth a try

The cliff is high

Close to the heavens

I stand near the edge

Waiting

Silence.

Then the answer echoes inside of me

I can show the world what it’s like

To be a real man

Because men aren’t defined by their bodies

But by their actions

And a real man doesn’t need the body

He needs to love

He needs to care

He needs to laugh and cry

And dream

And a man doesn’t need to prove himself to anyone

Because it’s all in his heart

I, a man born in a girl’s body

I, a man raised as a girl

I, a man who is always told otherwise

I am a man of courage

So I walk away from the cliff

I buy a new mirror

Swim in the pond

And clean off my knife

Because I am ready to live

And to live as the man I am.

[Guest miss kindheart]

Love the poem Jay jay

Welcome to the playground

<<< hug >>>

vanna

[Guest jay jay the jet plane]

thanks vanna!

[Guest Christian_the_FTM]

hey Jayden.

this poem is really sad..

just remeber I am on chat waaaaaaaay to often and normally avalible to talk

[Guest Kallum]

I related to your poem so much it was ridiculous

It made me feel something that I haven't had a lot of lately and that feeling was HOPE!

I've been to that place and it's dark and scary and occasionally I do need that reminder that I am a man and I will show that through the actions that I take.

Great poem

Kal

[Guest Angelgrlsue]

Wow Jay, that is an incredible poem. I liked reading it. Thank you.

Hugs,

Susan

[Guest jay jay the jet plane]

sorry for the late replies havn't been on the forum in a while.

Kallum - i'm so happy that the poem gave you hope. i was just crying about some problems relating to trans issues, and when i read your post it made me smile. because i also remembered that there is hope.

christian - the poem is sad, but hey, i gave it a happy ending! HOPE man. just as kallum said. in fact i might make that the title of the poem now Transman Hope or something.

Susan - Thanks for reading it, i'm glad you enjoyed it! i sort of wished now that i hadn't made it specific to transmen, but i guess that just felt natural to write about. i hope that mtf's (and the whole trans spectrum) can relate to it to a certain degree as well . maybe i'll edit it to fit with all trans* persons. not sure yet.