Well that was an exciting first visit

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

I had my first visit with a therapist (again) today. I had been to therapy before but it was years and years ago so I figure I had to start the ball rolling again so I could get on HRT once again and do all that fun stuff...again. So I drove up to the therapist's office and despite leaving later than expected, I arrived right on time. Maybe a minute or two early. Then again maybe it was on-time, I mean I did have to touch up my lipstick before stepping out of the car. Well you know, first impressions and all, I wanted to make sure I made a good one. Alright who's playing "You're so vain" in the background?!

Anyway, so formalities aside, we settled in and I filled out her basic questionarre thingy. One question that took me by surprise was when she asked about how often I do the following. Smoking. Caffiene. Alcohol. Recreational Drugs....Excessive Sugar. Wait, what? I had to ask, "What constitutes 'excessive'? I mean really, I could eat two candy bars and someone who is diabetic could consider that excessive, whereas a fellow big girl would consider that a snack before lunch.

So we talked..er..I talked. I showed her my old carry letter and had to explain the name Allison on it. I told her I have it but I've never had to use it. I asked if I should still carry one just in case and she said she'd email one to me that I can print out and have in my purse. She also went ahead and referred me to the doctor who does HRT, however she wanted to see me a few more times before my visit with him so I'll just hold on to the card for now.

In discussing appearance, she gave me her unbiased one. One of her first comments was

"You're obviously full time". Yes, yes I am.

"No visible beard shadow". Nope, just had laser session #5.

"Are you wearing makeup?" Of course! I wouldn't leave the house without it on.

"Are those (motioning towards breasts) all you?" No, no, they're fake.

"Well they look right for your size." Thanks! Too small they wouldn't be noticeable and too big would be too cumbersome.

"I love your hair!" Meh, try living with it.

I did point out the engagement ring before she was about to ask. I gave her my reasoning for wearing it and she thought that was actually a pretty smart idea (thank you!). She also noted that I have no visible brow ridge.

I gave her a quick synopsis of my transition, past relationships, and pretty much anything that popped into my head that seemed relevant at the time. She had me look in a mirror and ask me who I thought I looked like. My mind went exactly to "what celebrity do you think you look like" and while I should have said "Cousin It", I honestly couldn't think of any celebrity who I thought I looked like. Then she said "Do you look like your mother or your father" to which I didn't even hesitate to answer that I look like my mom. That's been a constant even pre-transition. People saw my mom...they saw me...even they knew I looked like my mom.

Now the interesting thing here is that one thing she really stressed is that they (I guess the therapist and the endocrinologist?) would eventually like to get some chromosomal testing done and find out of I have any kind of chromosomal abnormality, that way health insurance would have to pay my transitioning costs, up to and including SRS. *shrug* I'll give it a shot. She also told me there was a new law/procedure/thingymajiggy where now in Florida if you have a letter from your HRT doctor stating you're undergoing HRT for all this, the letter is enough to have your gender changed on your license from M to F. Well my eyes lit up right there.

She also told me of two other truck drivers in this area who are MTF. She tried to discourage me from truck driving and into a different career path that would be more suitable. I told her "But I absolutely love my job" and I ran down the reasons as to why exactly I love my job. I love what I do. I love working for a company that accepts me and stands behind me 100% with me being who I am. I told her this is the best career change I've ever done. That item was not even up for debate. I love my job and I'm not changing it, and yes there are women in trucking. There's a whole professional organization called Women in Trucking (of which I am a paying member). Those other two ladies may have had a worse experience in trucking than I have but I love my job and I'm not changing it for a more traditional job for my gender role. Me? Secretery? Get your own coffee, lazy!

My next session is in 6 weeks, once again, the day after my laser appointment.

Oh! This was interesting, I want to get your opinion on this. The fee is sliding scale. You pay what you feel the session was worth or what you're able to pay. I was able and ready to pay $100 for the session. When it came for the fee, I pulled my pocketbook (I hit the ATM on the way up) and took out $100 and set it on the table. The exact same time I was doing that, my therapist was going into her purse. After I set down the money closer to her, she set down $10 closer to me. I took it without thinking anything of it and put it in my purse. My mom thinks this may have been some Psychological test. I'm thinking maybe she (the therapist) and I had two different ideas of how much the session was worth or maybe she had a minimum amount in her mind and a maximum amount in her mind.

She actually set down two $5 bills. Maybe she can track where they are by their serial number or something to see where I spent it. Well she will be surprised to know that the first $5 bill was spent at Checker's for lunch (2 hot dogs, just ketchup and a large diet coke). The other $5 bill was spent at the drug store for feminine hygiene, for a little experiement I'm working on. See, I noticed my undies get worn towards the bottom area so I'm thinking maybe it's from sweat or moisture or whatever so what I'm going to try is to wear a thin panty liner to hopefully keep my undies lasting longer. I'm thinking it's sweat or moisture that are breaking down the fabric and making the front lower area get yucky so maybe this will help them last longer. I've also looked online and while it's not completely enouraged, there are some natal women who wear a pantyliner every day for a variety of reasons so I don't think my idea is too far gone.

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

This ROCKS, Lizzie! Congrats! Way to go!

Uhhh, your new gender therapist? Pinellas Park, perchance?

Peace Lacey

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

This ROCKS, Lizzie! Congrats! Way to go!

Uhhh, your new gender therapist? Pinellas Park, perchance?

Why yes, she's listed here at Laura's...

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

This ROCKS, Lizzie! Congrats! Way to go!

Uhhh, your new gender therapist? Pinellas Park, perchance?

Why yes, she's listed here at Laura's...

Christ The Cornerstone Church on 62nd ... the annex ... beside the church?

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

Christ The Cornerstone Church on 62nd ... the annex ... beside the church?

Well her office is being renovated so right now her practice is inside the church. I was a little worried because it seemed a little humid inside but her office has air conditioning! Not the most comfortable chairs but at least there's A/C!

[Svenna]

Lizzie,

What a big day for you, with so much more positive change on the horizon, too!

I find it remarkable that you are full time, pre-HRT. Wpw, not sure I could do it even now, 5 months into the program. Very cool!

BTW, I always love your posts, you are very entertaining, even while discussing tough trans stuff.

Hope the therapy leads you where you wanna go, no matter how far you are going...

Love, Svenna

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Damnation girl! You write the BEST stories!!!

LOVED all that drama and your subsequent reactions! LOVED it all...

I bet she wrote down 'no brainer - a slam dunk" - on the line that said transsexual? And when she got to the line recommendations' she wrote - "gotta get this girl her proper life going!" APPROVED FOR EVERYTHING!

And under comments? she wrote in a big red marking pen : WOW

Lizzie knocks it OUTTA THE PARK!

Hee hee

Wish I had been there!

Lizzy

[Guest Krisina]

Lizzie you have a great way of writing and describing your experiences.

I'm glad you found a therapist, getting hrt soon and all the first impression positive feedback. No brow line? Nice to hear about the sliding scale for payment. With you living full time and all for some reason I thought you were on hrt or maybe I forgot. The laser treatments are great. Good idea about the liner in the panties. You have been having some positive experiences and it's still getting better!

Krisina

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

Christ The Cornerstone Church on 62nd ... the annex ... beside the church?

Well her office is being renovated so right now her practice is inside the church. I was a little worried because it seemed a little humid inside but her office has air conditioning! Not the most comfortable chairs but at least there's A/C!

WAHOO !!!!!!!

That "office" you're seeing her in is where she wrote my HRT letter!!!!!!! That was the ONLY time we actually did a session there in the church. You're actually meeting her where they hold the Friday Night Cafe meetings! Dang, I love her. She's a FANTASTIC therapy. She saved my life and set me free!!! (By doing therapy, diagnosing me and writing my HRT letter)!!!

God, like, say, "Hi!" for me, please! She knows me as Lacey Lynne (the freaky sunbather). Yeah, she hates me and thinks I'm crazy, but that's okay, she rocks! She's one of the very best gender therapists in the country, Lizzie! You are in GREAT hands!

ROCK ON !!!!!!!

Peace & Joy Lacey Lynne

WAHOO!!!!!!! ROCK ON, LIZZIE McTRUCKER!!!!!!! ALRIGHT!!!!!!!