struggling to find a therapist, and adversion to therapy in general

[Guest jennifer_m]

i've been trying off-and-on to find a GT who can guide me along my path to getting HRT... but i can't seem to find one in my city. sometimes i wish i lived in toronto, but not very often (it's expensive). i found one in a nearby city, but the commute is silly for those who don't have access to a vehicle. some threads in here suggested there might be some therapists who can work online, but i seem to have another problem. i hate doctors and therapists.

i'll explain with a little back-history about myself... in '96 i had taken a road trip to florida and back, and shortly thereafter i had started martial arts training. at that time, it became obvious that i had a muscular-skeletal problem, so i went to my GP. my memory gets a little fuzzy about the order of things, but i went to a physiotherapist, who said it wasn't a muscle problem. xrays looked fine, but CT scans and bone density scans revealed material in my elbow joints, so they sent me off to an orthopaedic surgeon who wanted to hack my arms up 8 ways from sunday, but also said it could make things worse. at the time, i declined the operation... i'd have to have been insane to let a doctor cut me up if he didn't know what exactly was going on... my brother had the same issues around the same age, had surgeries on his feet. at the time, nobody really knew what was going on. i had an inkling, but i didn't really put 2 and 2 together at that point.

winding up to a few years ago, another family member was going through the same thing, so they went to a geneticist, and it turns out its muscular dystrophy. treatment for said MD involves repeated checkups and EKG's, but at this point i feel i've seen enough doctors in my lifetime, especially stupid ones. (i haven't seen the geneticist for an official confirmation, but my grandfather had it, i have it, my brother has it, and my cousin has it... do i really need official documentation?)

when i was growing up, i had also had a brush with a psychologist. my parents tried sending me to her because i was smoking and smoking weed. at this point in our lives, my parents were really strict, moral, and philosophical, etc etc. i felt that i had nothing to talk to her about. the real reason i was doing those things was because of the years of bullying i had endured during my entire school career.

so long story short, i'm not really big on doctors. to make things worse, i currently work in a hospital (i don't believe i'll keep working here during my transition, even though the money is good). i feel that if i go to any random therapist in my city, that either: word will get back to my workplace, or that the therapist will try to convince me that i'm not TG, or otherwise delay my transition. ideally, i'd like to start HRT this year (as i'm already 28), start going part-time ASAP. i know it's possible to get horomones online, but without proper dosages and monitoring, i could do some serious damage to my body, and i really don't want to do that.

is there a way for me to skip all the drawn-out process and connect directly with an endo? i haven't talked to my GP either, because i'm not sure how to bring it up with him... he's a pediatrician, so knowing my luck, he won't have any experience with TG issues, and if he wants to send me to a therapist, i'm back in the same loop again. i know what i want to do, i don't need people second-guessing me at every turn... i can accept the fact that i need RLE before SRS, but the bureaucracy and what-not is really holding me back from doing much else than crossdressing.

if skipping WPATH SoC is a taboo subject here, i apologize.

thanks

[Guest Krisina]

From my understanding you still have to jump through some hoops to get hrt. Seeing someone like a GT who will evaluate you, discuss and help with any current or past issues that might hinder transitioning, working through things to help ease the dysphoria, referral letter for a endo. The Ontario government will have a set of guidelines of what is required for that province.

Krisina

[Guest Mia J]

Hi Jennifer,

I can understand the issue of not wanting to go to a therapist. I also was adverse to it years ago when I first tried to transition. However I have found that today's gender therapist are wonderful. In general they don't try to convince you that you are not TG or anything else. They work with so you can decide for yourself where you fit. The only time I have heard of a GT trying to convince people they are not TG is when the therapist has an agenda and they are easy to spot.

Not sure about how they fit in with the health care in Canada but you can find some online therapist in the resource area on the main board. I know that here in the U.S.A. that a therapist would get into big trouble reporting your therapy to anyone without your permission.

Mia