Little Help Please...

[Guest NikkiG2579]

Hi all,

I need a little help from everyone here. I'm a 26 yr old male to female transexual. I've been on hormones for 18 months now and have had breast implants. I'm married and of course my wife knows now. I hid it from her at first then we moved on. She is totally ok with me as I am. Well the problem is 2 months ago she has her annual traiing for owrk where she was gone for 30 days. Well I had my srs performed 3 days after she left. She has no idea I have done it. We haven't been intimate that way in a long long time. We mainly act as lesbians now. I'm getting really tired of hidng it from her as well. I don't know if she knows or not, but she has made some comments about me tucking better when I'm wearing tight pants. The previous time's I've hid things I kinda showed her. But not sure with this one any help would be appreciated. Thanks

[Guest Sarinah]

In my opinion you need to be honest and tell her as soon as you can. It is not fare to keep anything that is so important to you a secret to your spouse, it hurts you and it hurts them.

[Guest Sofiadragon]

Not to shoot too off topic but where did you get the srs done & what was the cost 'cause I am looking into doing it as soon as I can IE w/in the next 3 years & I am trying to find a low cost one. Kinda tight on money.

[Guest Rayne]

Not to shoot too off topic but where did you get the srs done & what was the cost 'cause I am looking into doing it as soon as I can IE w/in the next 3 years & I am trying to find a low cost one. Kinda tight on money.

The cheapest I've heard is a doctor in South Beach for 18 grand. There's a woman in PA what will do it for 20 grand.

In Thailand they'll do it for 10 grand, but once you've added up airfare and such, it's around 18 grand.

The center in CO charges 40 grand.

Now....for the original poster.

This was something you and your wife should have done TOGETHER. She's going to more hurt about you doing it without her there to support you than the fact that you did it at all.

Think about it, sis....you could have died on the table (it IS surgery, afterall) and she would have no idea.

All you can do is tell her the truth. She's GOING to find out eventually and you'd rather control the situation than have her find out accidently. Sit her down and tell her you had the operation after she left town. She's going to ask you why you did it behind her back instead of with her being there for you, and, whatever the reason is, you'll have to explain that as well.

On a seperate note....congrats on the operation and I want to get there one day myself.

Rayne

[Guest KristinaJ]

Think about it, sis....you could have died on the table (it IS surgery, afterall) and she would have no idea.

You can't die from SRS - not as long as you don't have a monkey for a doctor. Most doctors are not monkeys (thankfully they don't give out degrees in medicine THAT easily)

It's not super serious surgery.

[Guest Sarinah]

I think her point was, any surgery has risks, even minor ones. Even the best doctors may falter if something unexpected happens.

[Guest NikkiG2579]

I am going to tell her just trying to think of the best way to do so. We had disscussed it a little bit before and she didnt seem to be against it just that she would miss something. We then agreed there were other things we could use on each other. I was thinkin of telling her tonight. I am home today and I bought a strap on for us to use. I was planning on making her a nice dinner and dressing sexy. I was then going to have her go in to the bedroom with directions to put on what is in the box. Then i was going to come in wearing some lingerie and let her find out that way I think she would be ok and kinda like that way

[Guest NikkiG2579]

Well I know there were requests for pics in my introduction thread from when my wife n I got remarried with me as Nikki so here is one of me with my sis

[Sally]

I agree with Rayne, it was something that you and your wife should have decided togehter and she should have been included. I am afraid that she might feel that you are shutting her out of your life - be sure to let her know how important she is to you and explain why you took the action you did.

As to 'you can't die from SRS', People have and will continue to die from complications in dental surgery - from the time that they knock you out until they finish closing and bring you back, you are at risk during even the simpilist of surgery and after - the possibilities of infections. Surgery of any kind is a risk - the extremely high survival rate of SRS patients is due to a combination of excellent Doctors, Nurces, etc. and the careful screening of the patients. Don't overlook the danger when considering SRS or even cosmetic surgery - when they start a cuttin' YOU ARE AT RISK'.

Not trying to scare, just inform,

Sally

[Guest NikkiG2579]

Met her for lunch today. I was am wearing just some tight jeans and a cute tshirt.She asked me if I was ever going to have the surgery she said that it looked like I did judgeing by how those jeans fit and told me they'd fit even better if I did then we both giggled. I said I have been considering it she said she thought as much and had been giving it thought and was ok with it. She then commented that she proboly wouldnt find out till she came in and caught me using my new equipment with a man. Thats about it as far as that topic goes I didnt tell her will do that tnight but may have a male friend come over. Yes we do have a open relationship

[Guest Rayne]

You can't die from SRS - not as long as you don't have a monkey for a doctor. Most doctors are not monkeys (thankfully they don't give out degrees in medicine THAT easily)

It's not super serious surgery.

Sure you can.

People go into the hospital for the most ordinary things and end up dead. MRSA, C.Diff, Staph, etc can kill you just as dead as anything else.

And yes, you can die on the table as well. Anytime you're doing surgery it's a risk. Even something "routine" like taking out your appendix has risks. That's why doctors try to avoid surgery at all costs.

[Guest Sofiadragon]

Sure you can.

People go into the hospital for the most ordinary things and end up dead. MRSA, C.Diff, Staph, etc can kill you just as dead as anything else.

And yes, you can die on the table as well. Anytime you're doing surgery it's a risk. Even something "routine" like taking out your appendix has risks. That's why doctors try to avoid surgery at all costs.

Not to step on your toes rayne but using the appendix was one of the worst choices that you could have chosen as an example 'cause it has one of the highest difficulty ratings from most docs 'cause if it is about to rupture even a slight miscalculation can kill someone. And most docs will try to get someone to get a surgery 'cause it is expencive & will put more money in there pocketbooks I haven't seen a doc that won't try to push for a needed surgery no matter how bad or not bad that it is needed but one thing that they all do is make sure that the patient knows all of the risks about it & understands them fully before they contiue.

[Guest Nelly]

Hi,

beside the thing that you do not tell your girlfriend before, I am wondering if you can have sex already? I ask, because if you get e.g. a genital piercing, you must stay without sex for some weeks. A SRS looks a bit bigger than just getting a piercing down there. So what says the doctor about using the new equipement?

Greetings

Nelly

[Guest Evan_J]

I'm just worried about what she says when she really knows. I've had women tell me all kind of stuff "was alright" then when they really found out I had done whatever "hypothetical" item it happened to be all heck broke loose. Good luck.

[Guest NikkiG2579]

Well I did tell her on Friday. She packed a bag and left. She called me and we met for lunch yesterday and a good long talk. Thankfully she awoke me this morning when she came back home and snuggled up to me. I really do have a great wife. As far as sex goes I have to use a dialator and I am now 4 months post op :-) . I didnt tell her in any different way just sat her down and confessed and apologized and begged and laid out why I did it and how I paid for it.

[Guest Nelly]

Hi,

on Nov. 12th you wrote

Well the problem is 2 months ago she has her annual traiing for owrk where she was gone for 30 days. Well I had my srs performed 3 days after she left.

Were do you get 4 month if the surgery was 2 month before Nov 12th?

Greetings

Nelly

[Guest lauren33]

I am curious as to how you can even hide something like that. 27 days from the day of surgery till she got back. I would think that you would still be soar and kinda hobbling around. Plus how did she not notice the thousands of dollars missing? you saying you didn't talk for the whole time you were in surgery and recovering in the hospital for at least 10 days. hmm it could be that you are a super fast healer but still... If I'm wrong for doubting you I apologize. It just seems strange to me is all

[Guest NikkiG2579]

Hi,

on Nov. 12th you wrote

Were do you get 4 month if the surgery was 2 month before Nov 12th?

Greetings

Nelly

Sorry for my poor typing skills. I had ment to type 3 months not 2 months and it is actually closer to 4 now actually 3 months and 3 weeks to the day.

As far as the money goes I was able to finance it. I sold off part of my old memorabilia collection which got me 15,000 and I financed the rest. As far as reovery goes I did speak with her a few times during that first week of recovery and like normal till she came home. As far as recovery goes about 3 weeks post op I was still very sore but moved around pretty well. I dont think I healed abnormally fast but I do normally heal pretty quickly and do not get sick to often. I'm a excercise and a water freak which the Doc's always say helps recovery having your body free of junk. Thanks for the questions everyone and feel free to ask away. Again I apologize for my poor typing skills. I was very nervous that day.

[Sally]

You have no idea how lucky you are! My wife left after telling me that she never would and that was after I told her that I would stay male if that was what she needed. Don't do anything else that drastic (I don't think that anything else is) without talking to her first. The shock of your having had the surgery and the fact that you did it without telling her is why she left that night. You have a wonderful wife and you need to let her know that. You also need to be more open with her and communicate - another 'surprise' and she might decide that she loves you but can not trust you - and that leads to 'so long'. Love her and hold on to her - she really loves you.

So glad that it all worked out,

Sally

[Guest Nelly]

Hi,

nice to hear that everything went well.

Your story sounds a bit noncredible because of wrong numbers and the point that you did that big step without telling your wife before. So I apologize that I thought that it was a fake.

Now everything is fine, how does it feel without anything left down there? Do you get the result you want? Do you need a second surgery to adjust the female optic? Is it fully functional, mean are you able to get the big "O"? How does it feel that you do not need to tuck anymore?

Greetings

Nelly

[Guest Evan_J]

Well I did tell her on Friday. She packed a bag and left. She called me and we met for lunch yesterday and a good long talk. Thankfully she awoke me this morning when she came back home and snuggled up to me. I really do have a great wife. As far as sex goes I have to use a dialator and I am now 4 months post op :-) . I didnt tell her in any different way just sat her down and confessed and apologized and begged and laid out why I did it and how I paid for it.

Yes!! I'm so glad that worked out You had me going when she packed her bag lol