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My earliest memories


Guest Dominique11

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Guest Dominique11

Good day all

I was thinking back the other day trying to descover when my transgender issue started.

I remember when I was in grade 5 I got my first pair of stockings and loved wearing them.

Then I bought makeup when I was 13 and used to hide it in my secret place under the stairs.

When The normal age for puberty came all the other boys I knew went through voice breaking and normal guy stuff, but I was different my voice only started to go deeper at 18 I went through alot of other mixed emotions and developed small AA cup breasts which i still have today I went to clothing stores and bought bras pantys etc...

I went to a psycologist and he helped me hide my feeling but now I am 35 and relize my real gender must be Female i am a male now and feel trapped

hugs

Dominique

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Guest Guest_SL

Hi,

Good place to get untrapped. Do you see a therapist now? A good second move after Laura's. Come to terms with your identity and live the way you choose. Folks here will be here for you 24/7.

Best of luck,

Sara

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Guest Dominique11

Thank you sara

I feel so special now that I can find out more and dont have to worry about discrimination thanx for making me feel at home

hugs

Dominique

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Guest HeatherAnne

Going to a Gender Therapist is something I cannot recommend enough. I have been to several therapists and almost all of them had me more depressed going out than I came in. Except for the GTs. It was so extremely liberating being able to freely be me in those sessions!

Gender therapy broke down my masks. I learned I could still be myself in real life, and that feeling is absolutely worth reaching for. Now that I know how to break my masks down, I can be myself with my close friends. Your mileage may vary, of course.

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Guest Donna Jean

.

I was in your place...and I was 58.

I broke down and went to a gender therapist and I am now the happiest that I've ever been in my life....

Try it, Hon....

Dee Jay

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Guest Dominique11

I am definately going to try i am still trying to find one in south africa

thanx for being there for me

hugs

Dominique

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Guest miss kindheart

Hi Dominque,

<<< hug >>>

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.

The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.

Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.

One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules. :)

We all look forward to seeing you.

:wub: vanna

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Guest Dominique11

Just a small update,

i contacted a company here in sa and they are great and are trying to help find a social worker and help me through all my steps and decisions

thank you all

you are my inspiration

hugs

Dominique

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  • Forum Moderator

So glad your here and that i found your post. Like Donna Jean i got started late after hiding all my life. Every step i take brings new freedoms and new responsibilities. I am getting to really look at this thing called Charlie and try to figure which way it will go. He or she or both? don't know and that's confusing but a lot better than hiding.

Hugs and welcome to Laura's

Charlie

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  • 5 months later...
Guest Chrissy's Out

It all starts around 5th grade! I did the same thing, sneaking in the bathroom when my mother was drying her pantyhose. It was so exciting and such a turn on wearing them. I remember skipping school, not to have fun with the guys, no to spend the day dressed as a girl! I'm forty now and the sneaking around has finally caught up with me. I'm out of the closet, my wife knows and I am a mental wreak. God I wished I was back in the 5th grade!

Good luck,

Chrissy

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  • 1 year later...
Guest RobertaLonely

I am new to Laura;s site and I started about the same age with a slip and stockings! I went to a psychologist for years and still do but some things can't be repressed, like who we really are as a person!

No other person can feel what you feel and each of our circumstances are unique but I can relate to what you have been facing. Most around us know nothing about how we feel and that it is OK because it pleases US!

Love you and stay well!

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    • RaineOnYourParade
      happy trans birthday! I can't speak personally on the subject, but I hope hormones bring you the changes you're looking for <3 
    • MaeBe
      That’s super healthy, to see that something that becomes common has less effect on you and that you are able to decipher these feelings.   Sadly, this trend tends to only deaden good feelings as we tend not to let bad feelings attenuate the same way.   I have noticed less euphoria, but still feel the dysphorias that I have. Sometimes the good sneaks in and reminds me, but often time it’s just me seeing myself in the mirror and being comfortable about what I see when embracing my realized self. I may not get the same buzz I once did, but I don’t feel incongruous when looking at a more “drab” reflection.    Wishing you strength, you are amazing!
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      maebe thank you I try to be. I thank God for blessings, try to share them, beg forgiveness for my shortcomings n vow to try to do better...2 priests have said no, God doesn't condemn you just for being trans...but apparently evangelicals do   I shall vtry dear thank you  
    • MaeBe
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    • missyjo
      ok ladies if I've asked this before I'm sorry please delete    ok so I have 2vsiblings..one is overly religious..n preachy n domineering..so he keeps trying to talk with me n I'd like to..but he always falls into this all knowing all wise domineering preachy thing tjaz tells me he's praying for christ to beat Satan for control of my soul..which is doomed to hell bc I'm transgender    I'd like to try to have a civil conversation n try to set him strait n gsin a cooperation n real conversation    any suggestions?
    • missyjo
      abigail darling what about extensions or a wig? be brave n hang in there  to thine own self be true  good luck
    • RaineOnYourParade
      When I first started figuring things out, I got a lot more euphoria. Every time a friend would use he/they pronouns for me, I'd get this bubbly feeling, and seeing myself look masculine made me really happy. Dysphoric state felt more normal, so I guess I noticed the pain it caused me less.   Now, it's more just that my pronouns and such things feel natural, and dysphoria is a lot stronger -- I know what's natural, so experiencing the opposite is more jarring than everything. The problem is, most of my natural experiences are from friends, and I rarely get properly gendered by strangers, much less by my family. I've found myself unable to bind in months due to aches, colds,, and not wanting to risk damage.    It partially makes me want to go back to the beginning of my journey, because at least then I got full euphoria. I'm pretty sure it'll be like this until I medically transition, or at the very least get top surgery (you know all those trans dudes online with tiny chests? Not me, unfortunately). It's a bit depressing, but at least I know that, eventually, there's a way out of this.
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Major mood, right here ^^^    I've listened to Lumineers to a long time (a major portion of it by osmosis via my mom), so that is almost painfully relatable
    • RaineOnYourParade
      As for getting a button-up/formal pants suit, you can try to talk to her more -- Cis women in tuxes have worn tuxes in recent years, after all, (for example, Zendaya) so it can still be a relatively safe topic. For jumpsuits, I'd recommend going with a simple one with a blazer, if you can -- this'll make it look overall more masculine. There's a lot of good brands, but going for one without a lot of extra glitz on it will make it look less feminine under a blazer. I don't know many specific brands though since I usually just get my stuff from chain stores, sorry :<   When it comes to your hair, if you can't cut it, you can look up tutorials on fluffing it up instead. If you can pull it off, it can look a lot shorter and more androgynous instead!
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