As A Gynosexual Mtfs...

[Guest CharliTo]

...I always have this weiiiiiird balance I'm trying to achieve where I want to stay attractive to women, but at the same time, I am still trying to be full time as a woman... It almost feels like it's conflicting against each other though....

I mean, I am not doubting my gender any more and I am pretty confident I am satisfied with going on with transitioning, so I love to dress feminine, but I tend to wear jeans and things that girls would take notice...in fact, I used to hate wearing suits, but now that I know it attracts girls (and that suits are kind of a unisex thing now), I'm starting to like it...

...and I'm just wondering if I'm the only person that feels like that...

Hrm, sorry if this post isn't making sense. It's my usual rambling >_< Worse now, cuz I just got off work and I'm kinda tired at the moment.

[Guest Jennifer1]

I dress however feels comfy. I dont have the issue of attracting women though being that im not into women. But i go out more tomboyish all the time. I call that my Guy mode, Its really a sad excuse for one though since i still get called ma'am even using my Guy voice

[Guest Evan_J]

You're not wierd at all Charlie. some of what some biolesbians (sorry, dunno if you identify yourself as that? but its the closest reference i have) do/dress like is so that they can draw more of whatever type females they find attractive who would be interested in them. Always crtical to remember, a biolesbian identifies as being female and wants to be female themselves along with whoever they seek.

[Guest AnnaH]

You shouldn't feel weird at all! You can't choose who you are attracted to, and if you are attracted to women, then it is understandable you would do what you can to attract them. I will say that, reading the forums here, I always do feel like a minority. It seems many girls on this forum are lesbians, as they have wives and such, when I am just a boring straight girl who likes her guys. It is a bit odd to me, as I assumed most MTF's would just typically like guys...but that goes with the whole difference between sexual orientation and gender.

[Sally]

Evan is right on target (as usual), how you dress doesn't make you any less male or female - a guy wearing a skirt is asking for trouble but it doesn't make him any less male. Cross dressers have no desire to change their sex, they just want to express their opposite side (their are more male cross dressers identified because woman have been wearing the 'lumberjack look' for so long that no one notices. The fact that you want to atract girls doesn't mean that you aren't a woman. As my therapist told me while I was trying so desperately (and failing) to preserve my marriage, "Sally, face it girl, you're a lesbian!" I always considered myself to be heterosexual, but I did want to stay married - it is possible that with the marriage gone that when I start hormone replacement therapy I might develope an interest in men, she said that it is very possible in those of us who have always been heterosexual but are 'wired' totally femine to ssift sexuality during the transitioning - "so don't rule it out."

Just like you are who you are, you are attracted to whoever you are attracted to. Fighting any of those urges is just as pointless as fighting the need to transition. Don't worry about it, wear whatever makes you comfortable and attracting women is a bad thing either.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Evan_J]

And Anna, I feel you too. Its hard , depending on who you're around to get folks to realize that you actually can be trans and be straight. Seems like sometimes the people who want to tell you "you must at least be queer" are often trans themselves and just can't fathom that you actually could be straight. I'm not sure if its that they're angry you "won't be like them" or if they're just "anti-straight people" but it seems sometimes as if it might be one of those things. I think for me thats how I get to feeling even more outside of the lgbt community. Maybe there's something to it?

Ignore me, I'm getting introspective.

[Sally]

Just my observation here, but a lot of us were brought up (for a long time living as the wrong gender) trained to believe that boys go with girls, girls go with boys and a lot of us got married to 'fit in' or 'cure our affliction'. I fell into the latter catagory. Well, now that my marriage has failed - her family found out and that was the end - I am going to just see who I'm attracted to - I am less interested in women , now that I have decided that it's not a cure (I just look at them for role models and fashion tips). It is quite possible that I might meet a man who I could really love - it doesn't seem so odd now as it did while I was fighting my true gender, I might meet a woman or no one at all. I don't have a crystal ball, but I have been noticing guys a little differently, since I admitted to myself that I was a transsexual. And since my wife left, I have been giving that matter a good deal of thought. I'm rapidly approaching 60 and I'm 6'4" - I need to drop about 125 pounds before I can have the surgery so I don't see myself as a 'catch' right now. But once I slim down a bit, OK a lot, I have the facial features to pass rather easily - I have been told that my hands and feet don't look masculine at all (but I wear a size 13) so I might even manage stealth. Maybe there is a near-sighted former basket ball player out there for me. I might just remain straight - the future is a mystery.

(Al ot of people assume that if you are transsexual you must be gay because our only group recognition is in the gay, lesbian and bi community - therefore if the t goes in with that list: you must be gay! Not so, but they have to realize that all transsexuals are not exactly alike - no cookie cutter transpeople.)

Sally

[Guest Evan_J]

I'll pm it Sally, I don't wanna derail Charli's thread.

[Guest CharliTo]

I'll pm it Sally, I don't wanna derail Charli's thread.

Thanks Evan

i don't mind you derailing the post now since I think you all answered it for me now. :3

thanks everybody *hugs* >_<

Yeah, I try to hang out w/ my good friend who's a lesbian and I'm definitely learning a lot of things.

Also, I do think there's more transgirls that are attracted to males. At least when I hear about the transgirl that are not on the forums, they seem to be attracted to guys. I think a lot of members here are too, but aren't really asking questions about it I guess...

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora Charli and others,

I hope you don't mind but here’s my take on the whole trans sexual orientation thing…

Pre transition transsexual people- M2F=if they functioned quite contentedly as a heterosexual male then the odds are when they transition they will be seen as homosexual females-lesbians [and visa versa for F2Ms-gay men] If one is bisexual nothing much will change after transition- perhaps one might swing a little more one way than the other-

Those who were seen as homosexuals should after transition be seen as heterosexuals males/females…

As for asexual people - similar to bisexuals - nothing much happens[speaking from experience I just became more open about my feelings]

now the somewhat more controversial part[reading the mind of others] - many members and no doubt guests are in the closet [sexual orientation wise] that is, pre transition they act in a pseudo heterosexual manner even marrying and having children but once beginning transition their ‘true’ sexual orientation begins to show through…However this doesn't mean that they didn't/don't love their partner...Love is love...A gay male can love a straight or lesbian woman and visa versa...

It’s possible some are closeted bisexuals and had managed to suppress the desire to explore the other side because of social pressure to conform…when they transition they may choose to openly explore their true sexuality or they may find contentment with being intimate with just one sex-I have a cisgender friend whose been in a long term[over twenty odd years] lesbian relationship, however she still see herself as a bisexual who as found sexual contentment with a woman…

To date I haven’t come across any scientific literature that shows when on HRT ones sexual orientation changes-In theory if this was the case then we all would have a change of orientation when starting HRT…And if a gay male or lesbian wanted to be straight ‘a presto’ a course of testosterone/oestrogen would do the trick…again it an’t gonna happen…

Happy mindfulness-and may you all find contentment with who you are…That is, be open and honest with your feelings

Metta Jendar