Outted Myself But Passed, Now What?

[Guest TBForLife]

So like any normal day I am walking to the store with only a few bucks change to grab just what I needed.

This guy comes up asking me to give him bus fare. So I figure right, ok no I only have enough for what I need and I say "I don't have any money, just what my boyfriend gave me to get him something at the store with".

Most of the time I say this it's like...yeah boyfriend yeah, I know like I have one of those, the common reaction is ..or was.. "I thought you were a lesbian!" If they don't say it they're thinking it .

Then the guy asked me "Hey do you want to buy a cigarette braw?" ... So I held up mine and said "I'm trying to quit, but thanks"... He continues "Sorry to bug you man, you have a good night braw"

Then I'm like ...omgosh I'm wearing tight A&F jeans... a half buttoned up dress shirt from le chateau and I totally look GAY. . . Which is ok because I'm a bit of a metrosexual looking bi guy which is fine, thats what I am.

And now I start to wonder... He knows I'm gay... I just outted myself, downtown at night to a stranger. I usually think well if I slip and say boyfriend they'll just think I'm a girl but w/e I don't care.

I said boyfriend, and he solidly maintained me as a guy. So I really outted that I'm homosexual. Obviously not trans... but a homo for sure and he looked like a pretty rough guy, maybe on drugs but at least drunk for sure. So was a bit worried. But close to home.

Funny thing is the guy "my boyfriend" isn't even my boyfriend he's my best friend but we always address each other as partners or boyfriends when we're around each other I guess... But we're seeing other people :S

So yeah...

Now that I no longer look like a lesbian, I totally look gay. Which is great I guess, I totally pass and now it's been three days of it.

Solid. Since my birthday.

On my birthday someone saw me with my kids and asked me where my wife was... that was kinda awkward.

Everyone tells me I look good. All the time. Everyone. I love it.

I'm real happy now.

But now I'm going to have to face the idea that I have a hard crush on a lesbian who likes me as a trans guy and I'm totally passing as a gay man because I'm bi-flaming so this is just weird.

My hopefully soon to be lesbian girlfriend has a very lesbian tattoo in a very visible area. I'm very visible as a gay man... and I really want to be with this girl... So man is this great. A lesbian and a gay man together? But thats just the surface? Oh man good times, good times.

At least I'm passing, now time to start adjusting to it!

[Guest Zabrak]

Hey TB, sounds like you had a great day. Its good to see everythings going smoothly for you!

Good luck with the girl eh? It's been a bit weird with my realtionship too. I look like a super lesbian and my boyfriend looks normal. acts normal but when I'm around him he acts pretty flaming gay. We are a strange couple indeed. I guess you and me have more things in common, bro!

[Guest Evan_J]

You know.....

(<--- is just wise crackin....)

....on every forum, when someone's new, everybody waits to see "how that person is".

You really don't keep em waiting lol do you? LOL

[Guest TBForLife]

Haha I dive right in. Never shy, no reason to be.

Not that I have no respect or admiration for the members of the forum but frankly I love to share my experiences, regardless of how people see me for them.

Even if I'm like Marilyn Manson and people get to hate me for being different thats ok. Because that different person is me and I'm being true to myself which is most important before anything.

If anything I hope to provide that example of truth.

Im me no changing that I guess I just have to live with the fact that Im who I am.

[Guest Drew]

congrats on the passing man! that's pretty awesome!

and i think it's pretty awesome that you're so comfortable breaking the stereotypes, Gosh darned me and my straight-ness

[Guest TBForLife]

It's kinda scary lol. But thanks! Like here am I, now a single, white, young, gay man walking alone at night down town.

Usually I have the kids...who'd be sick enough to hurt a guy with kids?

But when I'm alone now I know whoever might approach me is ready to take me on as a guy.

Before when I looked more female if someone was to follow me or attack me I had the idea that they were pretty weak, picking on a single woman...and they'd get the shock of their lives had they the nerve to try anything on me.

I was once attacked and saved because when the guy tried to rape me he felt my packer and apologized to me before running off.

But now that won't work. I'm a guy for sure and anyone who's going to attack me now is going to expect and be ready for a guy.

Its not a question of if in this area, it's a question of when. I've already been attacked a few times so well, it's expected. Now I'm just starting to know that I'm to be bearing this cross of being a single gay guy and being attacked for that. Kind of have to mentally adjust to it.

Now having all that said I'm more secure in this area than most.

For one thing in any nice gated suburban community I feel ostracized and freakish, here my community accepts me I just have to deal with random druggies and gangs here.

I have everything I need in a walk distance and I live across from my daughters school.

Most of all the children's aid here aren't bias against me like they were in the pretty small town I grew up in and I'm hailed as a parenting legend here so I'll never leave my area. I just really have to cope with this fear of being mugged or jumped as a single white homosexual man...