The Quest To Be Male

[Guest Zabrak]

From the threads I read here I starting thinking to myself, as much as I say 'I am who I am' and 'things don't bug me' I still find myself questioning myself..

Am I wrong to think the way I think? Will I even be accepted in the FTM's community? Am I really a bad guy for the way I think? Do some of you reject me?

You see, if I could of been I would of been a male model. It's a dream I'll never be able to become but it's somthing I've wanted.

What I've said about 'growing up under the media' is true about myself. My step father works in the movie industry. He'll work a year or so fliming a project and somtimes he even brings me to sets to see the actors. They always look so good and most of them start off as models.

My mother on the other hand is a diva, she forced me into 'Modeling school' when I was younger. I did not like it or the girls in it. My family and friends would tell me I should become a model and that I always looked good. However...it was not somthing I could debate with my mother because if I said otherwise she would tell me I was too stupid to become anything but a model.

So I believed her, I accepted I was stupid. But I didn't accept being a female model, I wanted to be a male model. Everytime I got out of modeling class I would go home and pull out my 'guy clothing' I'd hide in my bed, run to my childhood friends house and dress up, pull my hair back to make it look short and pretend I was a male model. I'd hide in her bathroom and take pictures and talk to myself. My childhood friend never questioned me and didn't care how I acted, she would call me Kyle when I asked her too.

Anyway...

Is it wrong I'm a feminine guy to some of you? Do any of you think less of me as a man because of it?

[Guest Martin]

There's nothing wrong with being a feminine guy. It doesn't make you less of a guy. Remember, male models are guys, too.

[Sally]

No way! Feminine males are very much the norm, most males try to hide all feminine traits but in truth almost all males have a few. You don't have to swing through a jungle in a loin cloth to be a 'real man'. I will admit that in the movies women love to look at them, but who wants to live with a Neanderthal?

Be yourself, isn't that the whole point of transitioning? Look around there are feminine males and masculine females everywhere you go. Do you really think that they are all transgendered?

We tend to worry too much about appearances and it tends to block our progress and get in the way of really being ourselves.

I for one have never liked overly macho men.

Sally

[Guest Evan_J]

Can't be a male model? Why the heck not? Are you kidding me? They have "known" trans police officers in some cities. And if you know anything about police officers they are, as a whole, the "least likely" to accept a trans person career wise next to the military. Heck I didn't even know there were any -not "known"- till very recently. So if a person can have that career I know you can be a male model. And your dad's sort of associated with that business too??? Boy you better get your heiney over on that stage/catwalk/ whatever and do the dang thang lol. Geez almighty, mom even made sure ya got the basics already?????

As for the "what we think" aspect? Who really cares? I mean, honestly, your being a model is a career decision not (necessarily) a political move. And even if one day it became a topic on Entertainment Tonight I don't see where a career choice brings into question any of our legitimacy as male. Which would be the only reasonable reason we could care.

Will you find some transdudes who aren't going to pick you for their personal buddy to kick it with over at their house? Yeah. But you were gonna find that for any of a thousand reasons anyway; this one doesn't hang out with guys from Canada, that one doesn't like guys that are blonde......get the picture?

You definately could be a male model. See, its that whole "band dude" thing I saw about you at the beginning. I knew you were something showbusinessy.

[Guest brandt]

nothing wrong with it. shoot. i would wanna be a male model too if i could. my mom told me that i should be a model. but of course as a female. i would shrug at it. but yeah psh i'd go for being a male model if i wanted to. maybe me and you could so do it once we get on testosterone and surgery to get our chest reconstructed and that sort of stuff. but of course if it was as easy as that i would be fully transitioned by now. but it isn't so i'm stuck in a female body for now. but keep your head high man. you're hopes and dreams will come true one day. trust me and have faith in it. you could be the first ftm model. if there isn't yet one. =]

[Guest Huff]

What Evan said.

When it comes down to it, I think it's mostly about your body and having the world see you as YOU.

MK

[Guest Sergei]

We transition to be ourselves. If you are a feminine guy, or a model, or whatever you are who cares? There is only one way to be happy in life, and that is by being yourself. As long as you arn't doing anybody any harm in the process, then you can't be in the wrong. I think the guys here are definitely above judging you for that career choice. The idea of transsexuals falling into stereotypical roles is a very outdated idea. I certainly don't conform to the idea of a male stereotype, and I know lots of other guys who don't either, but are no less transmen because of it.

[Guest Keane]

Feminine men OWN masculine men

[Guest Evan_J]

Feminine men OWN masculine men

On behalf of masculine men who are not owned, we just wanna say those who would like to be owned may do so, the rest of us are goin to watch the dancin girls

[Guest Donna Jean]

On behalf of masculine men who are not owned, we just wanna say those who would like to be owned may do so, the rest of us are goin to watch the dancin girls

TA-DA!!!

LOL Donna Jean

[Guest Jackson]

On behalf of masculine men who are not owned, we just wanna say those who would like to be owned may do so, the rest of us are goin to watch the dancin girls

Dancin' girls? I'm there.

[Guest Michelles_husband]

I'm down for being a stereotypical, grease-covered, plaid wearing, foaming at the mouth masculine guy. Although I do clean up real nice in a suit and I mind my manners when the time is right.

Jess

[Guest leo]

it doesnt make u any less of a man, make u who you are, an individual

[Guest bronx]

Be who you are. Don't worry about negative stuff. What makes you smile, feel comfortable and at ease, that's what's important in life.

[Sally]

Bronx hit that one out of the park (i'm using sportr metaphors because this is a guy's thread after all).

The good news is that I will not be one of the dancing girls - they should be at least 35 years younger!

Being you is what it is all about, if you are a little more feminine than Sylvester Stallone - that's just fine!

Be happy, and every one will accept you and like to be around you - wander around frowning and grumbeling and no one will want to be around you!

On Sixty Minutes everybody gets to interview guests except Andy Rooney - nobody wants to sit there and listen to him complain!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Evan_J]

if you are a little more feminine than Sylvester Stallone - that's just fine

Well heck, even Schwarzenegger is "a little more feminine" than Sylvester Stallone isn't he?

But you and Bronx are right however, always be oneself.

[Guest Zabrak]

Thanks for all the support, gents and ladies.

I think after I get chest surgery and I change my name/sex on all my iD I'll try to do a bit of modeling. I use to do some modeling in malls and won a award for the cutest model. Hopefully my tech job wont get in the way.

I'm just so happy lately. Sigh.

[Guest Evan_J]

I'm just so happy lately. Sigh.

I want to say "T will do that". But maybe it really is that we're so frikkin happy cuz we're finally "free" and on the yellow brick road.

[Guest My_Genesis]

well maybe this has been mentioned before but i find it interesting that the straight guys are the ones that seem to be concerned about stuff like "is it okay to be feminine?" (assuming you're straight from other posts of yours I've read...) im always analyzing everything i do to see if a typical straight guy would talk/act/think like i do because i guess i ultimately want to be seen as typical...hopefully that's not too ambitious

[Guest Evan_J]

well maybe this has been mentioned before but i find it interesting that the straight guys are the ones that seem to be concerned about stuff like "is it okay to be feminine?" (assuming you're straight from other posts of yours I've read...) im always analyzing everything i do to see if a typical straight guy would talk/act/think like i do because i guess i ultimately want to be seen as typical...hopefully that's not too ambitious

Hmm, I don't think I wonder if a straight guy would "x". With regard to passing, just the choice of words maybe (or lack of) and actions as in how I'm walking or somethin then I have an interest in it being how any guy would because of passing. When its all over, would I think wanting to be "typical" in the sense of not standing out in a crowd is overly ambitious? No. I don't think so.