Need A Bit More Adivice

[Guest sara w.]

how do i look more girly without anyone knowing, like how do i get the clothing, make up, nail polish all the general stuff, without having to come out to anyone, and are there any places where i can talk to gender therapist anonamisly like a website where i use a chat room or email?

btw if anyone says that i oculd buy it in the mail and if anyone finds out say its for my girl friend, well i've felt like a girl for most of my life and i just realize it now from looking on old photos and remembering what i liked, but anyways my mom and friends would never beilive i had a girlfriend unless they meet her or talked to her on the phone.

[Guest Evan_J]

Those small basic things you could just buy. The store clerks aren't going to be scrutinizing you because of it unless you live in a reeeeally small town. For makeup and nail polish try dollar stores at first. Its not "glamorous" sounding but in truth, unless you are older and have some great job, most genetic girls try to get the most for their buck and keep the price a secret lol. They have one or two items that they "have to have" that are pricey. Clothing? Try the thrift and even resale places. Stores that call themselves "resale" tend to only accept designer items that you can then purchase for a lot less. Some are better than others. Another thought (and this one came from someone else on the board, all I did was read it) was clothing banks.

[Guest Rayne]

how do i look more girly without anyone knowing, like how do i get the clothing, make up, nail polish all the general stuff, without having to come out to anyone, and are there any places where i can talk to gender therapist anonamisly like a website where i use a chat room or email?

btw if anyone says that i oculd buy it in the mail and if anyone finds out say its for my girl friend, well i've felt like a girl for most of my life and i just realize it now from looking on old photos and remembering what i liked, but anyways my mom and friends would never beilive i had a girlfriend unless they meet her or talked to her on the phone.

Just as you said, tell people you're shopping for your GF. The salespeople don't know any better. Tell them she's about your build.

When you shop for nail polish, if anyone asks, tell them your GF asked you to pick up a bottle on your way home. Or, tell them you lost a bet with your sister and now you have to go get her some things at the store.

As for what to do with them at home....buy a duffle bag and keep all the stuff in there. Hide it in the back of the closet or under the bed or something like that.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Unless you ARE in a small town, clerks don't usually care. Just go out and buy - don't act suspicious when shopping (that was one of the hardest things I had to overcome) and have an attitude. If challanged (you wont at the cashier - may be at the sales area) just say what comes into your mind. The best thing to remember is the clerk is 'curious' why you are in the cosmetics area, but she may be more afraid you are a shoplifter. Why are you there? Well why would a male buy something like fingernail polish? "I like to surprise my girlfriend - she LOVES it when I select colors for her! What would you recommend?" Ha! Attitude Sweety.

By the way - NEVER shoplift - if caught you are triple s****d. Shoplifting charges, people called, and hard questions on WHY... a tube of lipstick?

By the way, I don't know your age, but if living at home - be careful to dispose of receipts and packaging if you are not out to your mom - she does't mean to be nosey, but she will casually find out if you are not careful - mom's do that - some sort of radar or something.

Therapists on the quiet? You have to be a certain age - but you can go alone in most States. It costs a lot of money, though. You can always call a gender specialist therapist on the phone - and ask for a good recommndation for a support group. If you are young, be careful to stay away from "admirers," men who often may want to hit on you - ugggh, not good - always look for a 'safe' support group.

I find this site has an excellant, safe chat room.

[Guest Karen-1954]

Dollar stores are a great place to get makeup and cosmetics. For clothes, try a local resale shop, they are much cheaper. This time of year you can also tell people you are Christmas shopping, they wont even bat an eye.

[Guest sara w.]

btw to anyone else who reads this i said i couldn't say i have a girlfriend if i get caught, the reason is that since i feel like a girl more than a guy (besides the..you know what) i'm too scared to ask anyone out thats the type of "girl" i am.

P.S i do live in a small city if want to you can see the pop if u google it NORTH BAY, ONTARIO, CANADA

thx if you answer that.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

OOOps Canada and a small town

I am so sorry I didn't see that at first, please forgive me. Well the stuff I said is probably still good, I think - if you are afraid of buying at home, then you could go on the internet - but what happens when a certain package arrives and you have a snoopy mom? You might try buying at stores at peak hours when the clerks are too busy to pay much attention?

If you feel too obvious that you wouldn't have a girlfiend, then say it is for your sister, cousin, aunt, mother - if you get asked, which probably won't happen.

You will probably figure out something - we T-people always do because we are smarter and more creative than most people, according to most studies.

Just don't seem scared if confronted - I mean really - no one cares. I have been buying feminine stuff for 40 years and have been seriously challanged only once - by this bitter old lady cashier - "Going to polish your nails, huh." I looked at her and said, "yes mamm." That shut her up.

Also - you may want to save up and buy in quantity. This reduces your having to go back later and do it again.

I hope this helps - it's always scary being a boy but wanting girl things. You really need to see its scary for everyone here, on one thing or another. But remember we didn't chose to be like we are, it just happened.

[Guest shyheather]

definition of girl friend - a girl that is a friend and a girl you or dating the first can be of much help if a true friend

i also live in a small ruaral area in the bible belt so iunderstand the problem

[Guest sara w.]

Also - you may want to save up and buy in quantity. This reduces your having to go back later and do it again.

well if i buy in quantity wont i be more likely to be noticed by the cashier and other women/girls buying?

and i look very masculin so i have much doubt that i could pass like a girl (i've been told im "built" i have pretty wide shoulders and i have very strong muscley looking legs and i have to idea how to fix that), right now i feel like theres no hope for me

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Sara

Unless you know the clerk, he or she won't notice. It's in the attitude - I know it is scary. But act like you know what you are doing. I had a clerk once ask me at Walmart when I was buying a bra' "this isn't for you is it?" I looked her in the eye and lied,"no." She smiled and checked me out. If I had paniced, it would have been bad for both of us.

[Sally]

Sarah,

There is always hope, it lies beyond reason and fear and is the only thing that truely makes our lives so interesting.

When shopping in a small town you can't just make up a person - they might check. Around Christmas it is easy, you can buy anything and no one will look at you twice. Do you have a sister or any extended family in your town or nearby? If so you have the errand excuse or the birthdays for relatives - you don't have to conjure up a girl friend. It will take a little longer, but the only way that you will really out yourself by shopping is if you go into a store and buy panties, a bra, a slip, a pair of pantyhose, a girdle, a skirt a blouse, a pair of shoes and all of the make up at one time. Women don't buy everything in one trip - they buy their underwear by what they need at the moment, the same with make up (eye shaow and liner together , OK - but foundation, blush, lip gloss, eye shadow and eye liner means, what have you been using - oh you're a guy) they will buy a complete outfit and the shoes and purse to match at the same time.

Good luck,

Sally