Queer Heterosexuality

[Guest ENPAndrogyne]

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queer_heterosexuality

It's been a long search to find more information, so I figure since I'm on this forum, I might as well.

How rare are Queer Heterosexuals? How can I bring more awareness about them, and where are most of them?

Let me back up for a second here. I'm a Queer Heterosexual / Androgyne male. I've searched for many many years to figure out my sexuality and gender identity. It seemed like no one had answered until I found this article 2 years ago and bought the only existing books about the subject but it was mostly essays and in literature.

Even though I'm heterosexual sort of, I'm attracted to female masculinity. I find Butch woman very attractive to the point where my feminine side completely comes out. I yern to cross dress or wear more feminine things and make up. I picture Butch Woman the same way a Feminine Woman feels about a Masculine Man. This strong sexy person who would protect me in a relationship and be there for me in times for trouble or worry.

That's just to but it briefly.

But yeah, I kind of feel like the only person on the planet like this. I know it exists. But I wonder where are all those people.

The only time I've ever seen something on these lines was an episode of Murray Polvige where there was what I consider to be a Queer Heterosexual. The male was more trans then androgynous which I consider myself to be and his partner seemed very country fashioned. They talked about how happy they were but of course like any mainstream talk show, the host thinks it's so funny to redicule them on the spot for terms of entertainment. Anyway, I tried to look up the episode online in terms of resource but it's no where to be found. I guess most daily TV shows are like that.

Anyway, if anyone has any resources other that the wiki article, and the sources that inspired the wiki article, please let me know. Thank You.

[VickySGV]

Obviously you are not the only person on the planet this way since there have been articles written on the subject in some major publications. Now that I have waded through the article in Wikipedia, I get some flavor of what it means, but while it sounds enticing as a sociological set of behaviors, its primarily an academic exercise that will make sense only to other academicians, or to those who want to give themselves a unique place in society that is not really necessary. I for one like a term I heard recently which is "person-sexual" as opposed to any long theoretical polysyllabic type of relationship. What that means simply is that you will be attracted both socially and sexually to a person for the sum of their attributes and not just their genitalia or gender expression. The relationship will simply be you and this person, and it will be a relationship where you trust them emotionally and desire them esthetically where bodily intimacy and mental serenity will allow you to have pleasure and partnership for a lasting period. That definition actually now opens things up from a very limited group of people to a larger group of people you can relate to. This person-sexuality also applies to happy relations between a transsexual and cis person of the same genders (Post Op)

The late crooner, Dean Martin I think put it best in one of the songs that became a signature piece for him "Everybody loves somebody sometime, everybody falls in love somehow." The person you will fall in love with will have the qualities and esthetics you desire and look for, and in the meantime, you do not have to scare people off with a lable.

[Guest]

You have someone who understands you here. It's no coincidence that my mate of 35 years is bigger than I am. To call her "butch" would be an error, but I've always enjoyed her tomboy qualities and her strength.

I have yet to find labels that fit our relationship. Husband and wife were superficially fitting terms until my transition. Now, there are no terms. We just call each other soulmates. The same applies to sexual orientation. We're just a couple, very much oriented to each other, however that works out or appears. probably the best word, "private".

I'm sorry that I can't help you beyond that. In a world of boxes, it seems that we want to fit ourselves in one or another. But, I'm trying to resist it, resist labels that imply preconceived notions about us.

Best of luck on your quest.

Love, Megan

[Guest ENPAndrogyne]

I can see what people are saying in terms of labels because there are various of sexualities, gender expressions and even identities. Some like a term to fit into a group in which they can relate too and others just done.

Though sense I'm kind of a brainic nerd when it comes to study and stuff like that, I chose Queer Heterosexual Androgyne for myself because I can relate to the terms and it makes me feel like I'm part of a group. Though I think in my life now, I think it's in the matter of trying to find those kind of people in which I can relate too.

For example, I am really attracted to Butch Women. The Masculinity I'm really attracted to as well as a very talkitive, very smart and intellectual, very creative, non-judgemental and has an irreverent sense of humor is basicly the one for me. I'm always had a crush on Comic Icon Tank Girl, but sometimes I wonder if someone like that could exist in real life. But anyway, yeah Butch Woman I really like. I start giggling a little bit to myself and my heart starts pounding even if I don't even know them. lol Even though it seems like a majority of Masculine Females are attracted to other females, I discard information based on majority completely because I believe when people say majority this and majority that, it doesn't usually mean everybody. I've heard of things like the Gender Binary System which is made of Heterosexual stereotypes. But I don't want to get into all that Gender Politics Debate because it can get a bit confusing to me. So I find it easier just to go with from what I know and feel about myself and hope to find people like me.

But it's certainly hard to find people to date. I had a sort of relationship with a typical heterosexual female for about a year but I struggled and didn't like it because I still had strong feelings for masculine females and the love of my life which I keep fantasizing and making it a life long goal to find someday. Though It seems like when ever I have a crush on a female, it always backfires. I still haven't had a real romantic relationship yet and it's rough being in my mid-20s because I feel like I've left out. Like I want to know what love and romance is like, I want to know what emotional security and feeling emotionally safe is like with another being. Even though I'm techcally straight, I just can't have a relationship with just any female or a female who's feminine because I'm just not attracted to that. But like I mentioned when ever I see a unqie free sprited funny zanny personality and someone who's handsomely butch like, my heart pumps like crazy. I've had my share of crushes, I can still remember my crushes in high school and college and thinking "What was I thinking". Long story short, I remember being under ten and having a school friend who was very tomboyish and I just loved her then she mysteriously moved away and I never seen her again.

Anyway, sorry about the long post. I tend to do that on message forums, emails, etc. probably because I'm a writer and I tend to write better then adlib speech. lol

Plus I'm a little bit nervious because I've havent spent much time on gender related forums or even been to much LGBT groups either.

[Guest ENPAndrogyne]

Currently since my last post I suppose, Well I still Identify as a Queer Heterosexual Androgyne but I tend to like Cross Dressing more now a days. I've dyed my hair blonde and having it grow and I'm working out in a gym so I can loose weight so I can get myself a new line of more feminine like clothes, I prefer the showbizy style myself. I'd love to wear stuff like that And I've had the courage to wear make out outside my apartment a few times and fighting the fear of rejection which is good. For the most part, I like wearing make up because it highlights my eyes and lips quite well. Though I'm not so much into being a transwoman or go through surgery or anything like that. But being Androgyne, I feel the best of both worlds. There's still a apart of me that's like a guy but there's a side of me who's a girl who wants to come out and this side really came out when I found my love of attraction to Androgyny of Masculine Females. Plus I love the company of females social wise, If I'm around some girls my own age, it's like I'm one of them and it feels good. Some day I'd love to have friends who are girls and to do stuff like shopping and such. Even though I'm perhaps a bit too old for girl's slumber parties and such, part of me fells like...wouldn't that have been fun. Part of me wishes that I was born female because the whole majority masculine man stuff, I just can't relate to it. It's so strange the world wants me to be that.

I hope someday I'll meet my Masculine Female sweetheart because that's my attraction right there and I love it, it's so romantic. I'm not sure how many people in this big world can relate to me or not but I'm sure in my heart that I'm not the only one.