I need a little advice

[Guest jennifer_m]

This is probably the wrong place for this, but what the hey...

So I've been seeing a woman since the end of May/beginning of June, and I thought everything was going great. I was starting to feel better about myself, and really looking forward to having a woman friend I could talk to about stuff.

When we first started chatting, we would email/text each other several times a day. We've spent time at each other's places, and we've seen a movie together. Again, I thought everything was going great.

Where things start getting confusing for me though is that we haven't seen each other in 3+1/2 weeks, and communcation has pretty much dropped off. She only emails me when I email her first, and I have had to wait for days to get a reply. The one week was "I'm busy...", the next week was "I'm busy doing nothing", and last week I called her on it, because I was feeling rather dejected. She apologized and said she was busy (again). That was Thursday, and she still hasn't sent me an email to see how I'm doing or anything.

I really think I've been had, but someone I know online has a different opinion, he thinks I have a hell-bent desire to screw up any relationship I have. Now, I'll admit I haven't had the best track record in terms of dating, in fact, I can count the number of women I've dated with my fist (without any digits). That's not say I haven't tried over the years, but I've just never had anything close to what people would consider a dating relationship.

Sometimes I wonder if I should start hanging out at the LGBT bar in town, but I've heard some weird stories about that place, and I'm not really comfortable trying to meet women there while still in guy-mode. I really wish I could go out en-femme, but I'm nowhere near passable yet.

I feel so lost right now. I feel like letting her go, because if we don't talk or see each other, then is she really my friend? I can't take the waiting game anymore. I just wish I had someone I could talk to on a semi-regular basis, who can nurture my desire for a close relationship. I could try bringing it up with her again, but I really don't think it's going to get me anywhere.

Argh! (ok, rant over I guess)

[Sally]

I am not going to try to give anyone relationship advice - my experience has all been in failed relationships and I don't think that is what you are looking for.

We all want someone to be here for us when we need them, I try to be there for others when they need me.

Relationships are tricky because they involve two personalities as well all of the baggage that each brings with them.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Dear,

I am completely horrible at dating myself too All I can say is that you should back off with this person and don't be too pushy. If she is telling you that she is busy then don't push it and let her initiate an email to you when she is ready. I know that this is easier said than done, but try not to be too clingy. I have lost relationships myself by being too clingy. Give people their space and if they want to be with you they will be clear about that.

Love

Brenda

[Carolyn Marie]

Geez, I don't have much experience at this sort of thing either. But I'll offer this advice just the same: if it was me, I would tell her as nicely as I could how I was feeling about the situation, and ask her to level with me, and that I would appreciate honesty more than anything. I would tell her I really enjoy her company, would like to continue being her friend, but need some reassurance that I;m not wasting my time.

The ball would then be in her court. Of course, you have to be willing to accept the rejection that might follow. But for me, that would be better than wondering what's going on.

But, that's me, and I'm not you. I wish you luck.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest jennifer_m]

Dear,

I am completely horrible at dating myself too All I can say is that you should back off with this person and don't be too pushy. If she is telling you that she is busy then don't push it and let her initiate an email to you when she is ready. I know that this is easier said than done, but try not to be too clingy. I have lost relationships myself by being too clingy. Give people their space and if they want to be with you they will be clear about that.

Love

Brenda

I totally get at what you're saying... I didn't want to be clingy, so that's why I've been sitting here unpatiently. There are ways for me to occupy my time, but it still begs the question, should I really be waiting for someone who can't take 5 minutes out of their day to send an email, out of the kindness of their heart? Personally, I say no, but that's just me... Maybe my expectations are too high.

[VickySGV]

Time will tell, let her know you are still on the face of the earth, but be ready to move on. If you have some good hobbies or are involved in community service or even church activities, it will take your time, and improve your chances for more relationships even if your ships have passed in the night going in different ways.

[Guest jennifer_m]

Another week has gone by, and still nothing. I sent her an email letting her know I'm moving on. I can't wait the rest of my life for her to talk to me.

Thanks for the replies, I guess I'm gonna try this again.