…you have very well developed female breasts…

[VickySGV]

My first endocrinologist retired last year just after I had missed an appointment due to my sister’s suicide last summer. His patient care list was taken over by another Endo who also took over his job as department head. I was due for an appointment on or about my third hormone birthday which was last Friday. Yesterday was the day, I met my new hormone doctor. This time it is a female, and she is very proud to have all of the TG folks as HER patients now, even though my former Endo was the doctor who had taught her about our care. The first part of the appointment was just general health conversation because she also specializes in diabetes which I plead guilty to. That part of my life though seems to be under adequate if not perfect control.

We reviewed my background for the hormone referral back in 2009 and she asked some questions about my earliest thoughts of being transgendered occurred, and how it had progressed to my having the somewhat late referral. This included my two periods of alcohol abuse and recovery and the direction I now have with hormones and recovery. She was not surprised in the least when I told her that all of my desires and thoughts about using alcohol have gone away since HRT began. “Self medication of problems you do not have the language to describe is pretty common. You now know the problem and the medicine.

Next up “OK, I (the doctor) have to warn you about the risks of taking the Estradiol and the Spironolactone. <explanation given> Do you still want to keep taking them knowing the dangers?” My reply “doctor, those risks are far less than the risks I have of going back to drinking along with my diabetes, the Estrogen risks are nothing compared to that!! Yes I want them.” She had been certain I would react that way and we both had a laugh of the girl to girl type.

At that point we got down to checking my progress on the dosages I am on and any problems I have had with them. (I am on her recommended dosage which is very low compared to some internet hoopla.) Her first question to me was “have you had any breast augmentation?” No I have not had BA, what I have is all me!! She was impressed by what she saw and said so. I told her I was even with what one sister had had, but a bit ahead of the other one on boob size. We went on to a few more body changes that she needed to check, which were all very much within the expected range, and then she had me open up my button front blouse and un hook my bra. Gloves on, she examined the breasts themselves and then said “you very definitely have well developed female breast tissue here, and it seems to be healthy in all respects.” WOW.

Another thing she told me was that she gets into near fights with some of her new HRT patients who demand dosages above what her competency tells her will work and be safe. Their expectations are based on internet myth of what dosages they should take to get things done fast and is potentially dangerous. I shared with her about my experience at the WPATH conference last fall where that had been a serious issue.

I have in her words “healthy well developed tissue” that has taken three years so far, but it and I are healthy and happy on what competent medical advice has given me.

A wonderful experience, and they keep getting better.

[Guest shadowghost21]

But I just wish they would grow faster!!! Don't we all If they grew any faster I fear I would be in so much pain I wouldn't be able to do anything.

[Charlize]

Vicky,

Thanks for that post. I certainly have to agree that alcohol and my trans issues go together. Fortunately we are both free today.

I don't know if i'm going to get to HRT. My Cardiologists nurse called today and said not for me. I didn't cry but am still close. If i wasn't able to write to someone who understood i'd go nuts. Thanks again Laura's. My wife bless her heart was right on the internet looking for other opinions. I'm hoping i can get someone to take another look. Surgery is always possible. It just changes the outside. I guess that may be what i get but..... Acceptance. I pray for that. Maybe i'll just wake up with a nice pair of girls and be content. After all its better than what i've got.

Sorry to vent. I am truly happy for you. I just hope to have an anniversary too.

Hugs, Charlie

[Guest rikkicd64]

Vicky, I am so happy for you and glad that you got a good report on your health.

For you Charlie my heart goes out to you, I am in a similar situation, so hang in there girl, we will both be ok.

Rikki...

[Guest amanda_s]

I'm jelous i have to wait if everything goes well by next year i will have HRT

Amanda

[Guest Melissa~]

The dosage shouldn't have to be high on the spiro/estrogen regimen. I am not a doctor but I would pursue it like this, get a baseline, start with a calculated low dose of E and moderate dose of spiro(as far as I know this is still an off label use of spiro and as such aiming for it's traditional dose/use as a diuretic may not have the desired/applicable effect.) If there is no response and lab confirms failure up the dosage, but once it's in the normal range wait for response. If the regimen needs augmentation try addressing specific symptoms and areas using low dose minoxidil/finasteride/progestin etc. Last resort should be escalating E after years of no response, it has known nasty effects that would be best avoided if it's working at light doses. I have my initial consultation with my endocrinologist Friday, this is not to get my scrips started, it's to get a baseline physical, the new patient record started, meet the doctor etc. 

The majority of ladies do seem to develop ok with time, one way or other recklessly achieved or not. My sister says she -will- be jealous if I slide in one cup size under her, and that would be fine by me too.

[VickySGV]

My real point in this post that I hope some people will get is that confidence and trust in your doctors and their advice are vital to all of our well being. I was as unhappy as anyone was when I began HRT, and thought I was getting gypped because because I felt my doctor was too conservative with the medication, I was as anxious as the worst over getting anywhere I could so fast I would split out my tops and have my nipples going through a door way ten minutes before I got there. I am not bragging, but saying that with time and skilled medical helpers who don't listen to me when I am a brat, but will carefully guide me when I am ready to listen to them, things do happen to fulfill my dreams. The last three years have been fulfilling each day, not just on the ones I bought a new bra.

I have regret for those of you who cannot walk on the path I have before me, but not true sorrow, because you are being cared for and will have a life that is real and fulfilling. The truly important parts are in your mind that has given you freedom of self. This way time is on your side, and new developments may make your dreams come true as well.

[Guest Janice Lynn]

Vicky,

I have always admired the down-to-earth sensibility of your posts, but this

onein particular bursts with personal insight and that sense of indescribable

joy in having found your own personal path and the right pace for the

journey. Thank you so much!

I am one of those who, like Charlie, must pass over the standard HRT due

to health issues. There is a sense of deep sadness about that and a

measure of regret that I did not have courage to move on this before

health issues became so large, but one must accept reality and thank

those who had the wisdom to avoid simply writing a script in order to

please me and instead take the time to explain why they could not.

HRT does more than simply change physical appearance. There are some

"artificial" things I could do to bring my body into alignment with my inner

self or soul, but I am unable to experience and enjoy the other not-so-

physical benefits that come with HRT. I don't know how to explain it, but I

am sure Charlie knows what I am describing.

In either case, your posts remind me that what we are about here is serious

stuff and that, whenever serious stuff is involved, there are going to be

both moments of unbridled joy and other moments of regret or disappoint-

ment. The key is to take the most pleasure we can out of the victories or

moments of grace.

You make it real, Vicky. Thank you so much for oyur post!

Love to ya,

Jan

[Guest ZoeG360]

She was not surprised in the least when I told her that all of my desires and thoughts about using alcohol have gone away since HRT began. “Self medication of problems you do not have the language to describe is pretty common. You now know the problem and the medicine.

That is the best explanation I have ever heard. I often wondered why, even in my alcoholic fog, I never got it that I was medicating my GID. I just thought I was destined to be a drunk.

I also knew that just prior to going on HRT I was as close to relapsing as I had been in 16 years of sobriety. Now, the idea of drinking does not even exist in my head.

i told someone in my group last night that was in a hurry to get on HRT, that I was not in a hurry, it was more important to get it right because at my age, I may not get a second chance.

From my limited experience, trusting the docs is what keeps me grounded. I have a proven track record that self medicating is a total failure for me.

Zoe

[Guest jessica55417]

lucky!!!! I've always wanted breasts!!!!! I'm jealous.

Good Luck!

Jessica