How to dress Androgynous and face society

[Guest ENPAndrogyne]

I was walking down town and seen some beautiful things I won't mind owning and wearing like Turquoise jewelery, silk long shirts, and I felt like I finally had the perfect clear vision of giving myself a brand new make over and finally live my life the way I've always felt by dressing androgynous, dyeing my hair blonde and growing it out and wearing a little bit of make up. And finally I no longer need to be afraid of expressing my happy Androgynous emotions of my Androgyne identity. And everything in my head seemed all bright and wonderful then my judgemental job coach contacted me and almost made me get a job working on a Navy Cafe and I talked to the Navy Cafe people and they were so judgmental about how men should have short hair and they are very very picky on how someone looks so I talked to the Job couch telling him that I'm tired of him finding me jobs that aren't interesting to me and are not Gender Identity friendly and he of course made horrible hacky jokes like "Have you ever seen a man with long hair working at a job?" which I have, I wasn't sure of he was trans or Androgynous, he or she worked at a CVS. But I forgot to mention that to him because I was paying more attention on not getting angry at my job coach over the phone so I told him according to law of RI, you can't discriminate people of gender identity. He keeps making wise cracks trying to seem friendly and I felt that I needed to listen to my heart and put my foot down, so I call up his boss and told her than I'm tired and sick of these services and the judgmental attitude I've been getting lately. I called up every LGBT organization in RI for help and i got pdf files of copies of discrimination laws. so I feel that everything is flying around in my head because this job coach who made me feel unconfortable since day one is known to call me like crazy. And his boss didn't call me today and my coach doesn't realize that I don't want to work with him anymore but his boss does...It's crazy. So I'm trying to calm myself down a little bit looking for emotional support.

Plus I want to look attractive for future dates perhaps and want to learn safety tips on how to be myself in a big city at night. I love the nightlife. But I've heard it can be dangerous. Lots of people don't understand my attraction but I'm attracted to Masculine Women, kind of like Butch Women, Women who have very short hair and are more masculine then feminine. I'm a Queer Heterosexual by the way, there's a wikipedia article, it explains everything. I love masculine women a lot. They are so attractive to me. But It's hard to find dates, and I want to attract them.

Any tips and advice for a Queer Heterosexual as myself?

I've been studying lovetypes in which I'm a ENFP attracted to ENTPs (Personality science)

And I've recently studied The Secret: The Law of Attraction to bring my spirits up to a more positive outlook. It's hard but it helps me get out of depression faster then ever.

My love coach told me that I just need to look attractive the way I want people to love me and love myself and that will attract others or something like that.

Anyway, any advice, Thanks

[Guest]

Hi Honey,

Getting a job is one of the most difficult things these days. There is so much competition that a person's looks can be the deciding factor even though an employer would never admit it. Which does put us TG folks at a disadvantage. About the only thing I know is to try to tone down your presentation - be a conservative androgyne, as much as possible, and then try to prove that you can do the job better than anyone else!

As far as safety in a city - don't go anywhere a woman wouldn't go. It's quite limiting, and if you're used to going anywhere you please, it can be a change. I've never been able to defend myself, so have always been timid when in strange areas. But, even now, I realize that I can't run in heels and a tight skirt - so must even be more cautious.

Dating? Oh dear - way outta my league here. But, I wish you luck!

Love, Megan

[Guest]

Oh, I forgot to add an anecdote about a cowboy I saw last Saturday. Beautiful studley man - dressed in his work clothes - a plaid shirt, jeans, cowboy boots, and cowboy hat. I loved his hair - in two long blonde braids down to his shoulders!

[Guest ENPAndrogyne]

I guess the kind of work that I want to do is very artsy and filmmaking and from what I know, esspecially cartoonists. They let their hair grow and they wear very artsy silk shirts. But I kind of want to look like Andrej Pejic. I guess he's a very famous androgynous model and I think he looks so beautiful. I'm so jellious. lol

[Guest aleon515]

Sounds like you'd fit right in in Santa Fe New Mexico-- esp the turquoise jewelry.

--Jay Jay

[Guest aetherlux]

I want to dress more androgynously, but I'm not into silky, flowing type of clothing. I like sleek, fitting and predominantly blacks, blues and deep reds. Any suggestions? Should I consider looking into wearing girls' t-shirts?

[tracy_j]

I have been developing a style for a while - not with definite design but general progression. Generally includes trainer type shoes, skinny jeans / jeggings and top (often polo neck or similar) over snug fitting longline vest / dress (mini). I have some girl's t-shirts. Main thing to watch with these are how broad you are across the shoulders and arm length if long sleeve - check size carefully otherwise t-shirts with cotton / elastine mix are ok. I like either black setup with colour highlights (orange to match my hair) or bright colours like emerald green and blue. I usually wear plain colours without additional logos or patterns but am experimenting a little.

[Guest AlexR]

Queer heterosexuality? I hadn't heard the term before, but it describes the relationship between my wife and myself quite nicely. I do take exception to the assumption by some that it is a form of gender(blank)ing as described in the wikipedia article. I didn't "choose" to be attracted to masculine and androgynous women just to urine other people off.

I wish I could give you good advice on finding Mrs. Right. I totally lucked into mine. Just keep yourself open and be yourself (which I was NOT doing at the time I met mine). We've been married 16 years, and I'm ready to go 50 more. We've had our ups and downs (as some of you know), but things right now are going great!

Good Luck!

Alex