One heck of a Trans-101 article

[Guest LizMarie]

She says things very well. It's from back in 2010 but it rings so true to me.

Not Your Mom's Trans 101

[Guest LizMarie]

Note that I should have said "he"!! My mistake!

[Guest Misaka]

Really interesting read. A lot to take in but they say some really interesting things. Will give it a second read later.

[Drea]

Sounds like an angry transcist cisphobic rant to me to be honest.

[Guest shani d]

same here about the transcist cisphobic but still its soo awesome i like the line

sex is beetween the legs gender is beetween the ears

so awesome line

[Guest KimberlyF]

I agree it's just a typical cisphobic rant I've seen dozens of times from a binaryist.

[Guest LizMarie]

I'm confused by your response, Kimberly. If by binaryist you mean someone who sees all gender issues in binary, I would argue that the author is the exact opposite of that. Further, the discussion seemed less cis-phobic and more concerned with broadening understanding of gender even beyond the typical trans-101 discussions.

For example, the discussion about self-identification is spot on. The advantage of the cis-gendered is that they simply identify based on biological sex and what is between their legs. Convenient for them but not the only possibilities, as most of us are aware. But in the end they still self-identify. They may try to rationalize their self-identification in terms of chromosomes or birth genitalia but they are still self-identifying because in the end that's all that any of us can do - identify ourselves.

My spouse threw the "I want more proof" at my therapist, regarding my GID. My therapist asked her how she could prove something that my spouse feels in her head. She backed off at that point and didn't try to fight that line of argument but she stood back and let my son repeat it when he talked to me and called me "irrational" and "possibly deluded" for thinking that I feel like a female. I asked him why in the world would I bother to fake this when you are reacting like this, your brother is reacting worse, and my spouse is threatening to leave me? Why would I do that? He had no answer but fell back into a line of defense that ran "well you've deceived us your entire life so nothing you say now can be believed". I asked if he thought I had decieved him in my love for him, in the time I spent with him, in the things we'd done together and he said no but when we circled back to the issue of whether I could possibly be experiencing GID, I was "irrational".

So the author of that post is anything but binary. My kids are examples of binary thinkers who refuse to consider any evidence outside their narrow world view. The words of that blogger are the sorts of things I'd like to cram right into my kids' heads, if it would wake them up. Unfortunately, I fear they are a lost cause. Worse, I know they didn't learn this rigid view from me but rather from the families of their spouse and their spouses themselves.

Anyway, I'm not sure I see the same thing you see, particularly in regards to the blogger being a "binaryist" and I'm not sure I see the blog entry as cis-phobic either.

[Guest TRIWINGGIRL]

I relate with this very good story it's hard to be trans people just don't understand.

we don't have the problem they do

[Guest Jenni_S]

I agree it's just a typical cisphobic rant I've seen dozens of times from a binaryist.

Do you mean "binaryist" like someone against the binary, like a "racist" is someone against a certain race, Kim?

Personally, after reading that, the writer strikes me as really angry at people who haven't had to deal with this sort of thing. I can't even comprehend that. Through no fault of their own, 99% of the people in this world don't have a problem with their gender. How is that something to be angry at them about? Shoot, I would have given anything to have been happy with how I was. Good for them, I say.

The vast, vast majority of people are fine with their gender and sex. I suppose one could be angry, jealous, or envious about that, but where does that get you? Probably a lot of people ticked at you for taking issue with them for having the audacity to be comfortable with themselves. There no better for being so, and no worse for having never questioned their gender. It's just never been an issue for them. Chances are, though, that they have their own problems they're dealing with. Being angry with them for them not having your own problem does no one any good, and really minimizes what they DO have trouble with.

[Guest KimberlyF]

For example, the discussion about self-identification is spot on. The advantage of the cis-gendered is that they simply identify based on biological sex and what is between their legs. Convenient for them but not the only possibilities, as most of us are aware. But in the end they still self-identify. They may try to rationalize their self-identification in terms of chromosomes or birth genitalia but they are still self-identifying because in the end that's all that any of us can do - identify ourselves.

Jennifer is correct in how I've come across the word's meaning (binaryist) in any papers on gender theory.

As for the quote above, is this the same as choice we make every morning when we have a scalding hot cup of coffee in our hands and we don't toss it in someone's face? I don't pretend to know how others think, but for me, there are certain things that just are and I never thought about them. I've come out to numerous people who have told me they've never thought of the things I talk to them about. They never felt uncomfortable. They were told they were American from X state and a girl (vast majority of who Im out to are female) and this is how they are supposed to act. They told me doubting being a girl made as much sense as doubting being an American.

[Guest Melissa~]

I'm a much more tolerant person that that, I have no problem with people with being inept, and or ignorant, it's just peoples own disability. I'm only annoyed at proud ignorance, proud ignorance is still usually harmless. Only when proud ignorance combines with combines with a harmful doctrine that things start damaging society. I would say the gender binary -is- suitable education for most people, by definition. If nature was turning our a large number of TG people it'd be different, but there is no help for a person that won't help themselves, and for now it's not perfect but there are finally resources here in society. After what was really a dark age for around 150 years.

[Guest crissy_oakley]

Great link. I had shared with my friends on FB and my Mom...

crissy

[Guest MsPerseveres]

:-S - I really hate transpolitics. This journey is so hard already. I have no idea what to think about the blog post or the various responses here - I'm just happy that I know what I am, and I hope to find acceptance from those that know my history and journey.

Hugs, Brenda

[VickySGV]

I read this on another site back when the thing was fresh off the keyboard. It has some valid points, and a bit of vitriol for flavor, but to me is not a solution that non-trans folk will understand (I tried to get a couple to read it) or particularly be interested in. Less inflamatory than some I have read.