The Inevitable Do I Pass? Thread

[Guest ValerieD]

So today Honors wanted me to email them a new picture for the bulletin board and I had to get one taken. This turned out to be the first picture showing my face that I'm at least somewhat happy with (and without makeup even! though I did have it taken right after shaving), so I thought I'd upload it to my gallery to see what you guys think. If it's actually good I was thinking of using it as a profile picture for Google+, LinkedIn, and Facebook (if I ever persuade myself to join, that is). I'm not sure if I look feminine enough as always (and in the case of LinkedIn, professional enough), but at least I'm not embarrassed by it.

[Carolyn Marie]

I think you look very nice, Valerie. I love the way you've shaped your eyebrows, and your face has some great qualities, like your cheekbones. Your hair is coming along very nicely, too. An excellent start, IMHO.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest MsPerseveres]

I think that you look very nice, with a very feminine hair style, accessories and clothing. Your shoulders are on the muscley end of the feminine spectrum, but still within the expected ranges. It's a good look dear - definitely acceptable for LinkedIn :-).

Hugs, Brenda

[Guest amanda_s]

i would have to agrea with Carolyn Marie very nice

Amanda

[Guest LizMarie]

Valerie, after seeing your other posts earlier this year, I don't understand your concerns about passing. You are going to look amazing as you transition and you look very good right now!

The one obvious thing is beard shadow, which you already know about. If you can find a way at college to work part time evenings or something, you can probably earn enough for a weekly electrolysis session. Get started on that, hon, and you are going to be an even more lovely lady than you already are!

[JJ]

Gotta agree with all the ladies. Nice picture - I don't think anyone would question it at all

Johnny

[Guest ValerieD]

Valerie, after seeing your other posts earlier this year, I don't understand your concerns about passing. You are going to look amazing as you transition and you look very good right now!

Well, I'm kinda a perfectionist. Hoping to go stealth, though it's probably not feasible given my financial situation (and location; no laser for me until after graduation).

The one obvious thing is beard shadow, which you already know about. If you can find a way at college to work part time evenings or something, you can probably earn enough for a weekly electrolysis session. Get started on that, hon, and you are going to be an even more lovely lady than you already are!

Unfortunately I lost my work study money this year, which translates into less spending money even though my expenses are rising due to HRT (no idea how much that will cost) and therapy; I estimate I'll be spending an extra $200 a month in total, and I never did make much in the first place. I'm kinda riding on money saved from my internship last year... if I don't get a job right after graduation I'll have no way to support myself and have to pause transitioning.

Never understood how some people have time to work major jobs in college... between classes, extracurriculars, and my inability to concentrate on work, I've always felt like I have no free time during the year, especially when projects are due.

[Guest ValerieD]

Well, this picture just got me clocked on YouTube (thanks to using it as my Google+ profile picture), and by a guy with less maturity than a middle school bully no less. I guess this image doesn't scale to 80x80 very well. Looks like I need a new profile picture, but that could be a bit of an issue; I don't have a single picture that's better. I'm not very photogenic, and I rarely have my picture taken, anyways. Not sure how I'm gonna handle this.

[Guest crissy_oakley]

Valerie,

I know it hard, when somebody makes a cruel comment, on the internet. However, this person is hiding behind the anonymity of the internet. You are out there living your life as you see fit. Don't let a jerk, keep you from doing that.

crissy

[Guest Izzybell]

You're going to handle it by being a strong, beautiful and awesome girl, amiga. There will always people who make stupid comments, none of which will ever make hold an ounce of truth. You can never let trolls get to you. They're mean, nasty little creeps who feel the only way to augment themselves is to belittle the success of others. But you are stronger than they will ever be.

-Isabella

[Guest ValerieD]

How do I deal with now having the fact that I'm trans in full view of the public? I wanted to go deep stealth. Since Google has been pushing to have people use real names/photos on YouTube, these comments are associated with me and free for anyone to view (my new Google account post-dates Google's push to get rid of usernames and avatars on YouTube). I'd also like to replace the profile picture, since I'm a little self-conscious of it, but not having any other pictures of myself, I don't know how to do that.

[Guest Izzybell]

How do I deal with now having the fact that I'm trans in full view of the public? I wanted to go deep stealth. Since Google has been pushing to have people use real names/photos on YouTube, these comments are associated with me and free for anyone to view (my new Google account post-dates Google's push to get rid of usernames and avatars on YouTube). I'd also like to replace the profile picture, since I'm a little self-conscious of it, but not having any other pictures of myself, I don't know how to do that.

Ugh. I hate how Google is doing that now. >.< I'm not familiar with the guidelines of google, so I know I don't know how possible this is but is there anyway to circumvent this?

[Guest ValerieD]

I finally went into the buried settings and changed over to a username, which also removes the profile picture, but it does not appear as if it retroactively applies to older comments (or if it does, takes a while to propagate down).

[Guest MsPerseveres]

I think that the best response is to ignore those that think they're clocking you, or to respond correctly, which would be "A guy? Umm, no - I'm a woman." and leave it at that. Because you are, you know, and trolls need to be tossed back under the bridge.

Tami

[Guest Guest_]

Valerie: Very nice picture. I agree with all the other ladies. Have confidence in who you are and forget about the jerk;s in the world. Be yourself, enjoy being feminine, and live for the moment. Love Amber L.

[VickySGV]

RELAX -- thats my only problem with the picture. It is a guy pose, but I know there is a reason for that!! Little more of a soft smile and your shoulders a bit more forward and voila!!

[Guest ValerieD]

That's the problem... I don't know how to relax. This might be depression talking, but I don't know how to simile either. Whenever I need to simile for a picture, it comes out horribly.

How would I learn to pose like a girl? My parent's wouldn't know the difference, and I don't have any friends. I don't even see GGs my age on a daily basis (I go to an engineering school; the gender ratio is nearly 7 men for every 3 women, and almost all the women major in either business or biology, so I never see them).

[Guest JazzySmurf]

For what it's worth Valerie, I find that pictures can be really unflattering sometimes. The angles, lighting, everything has to line up in order for things to look right sometimes. From what I've read about photography, my understanding is that being outside/sunlight has an extremely harsh effect, and seems to accentuate any masculine features (i.e., I think that more contrast in the face is generally read as masculine, whereas smooth complexions are generally more feminine). You may notice that a lot of the other avatar pictures are taken with soft lighting: for example, indoors with incandescent light. So, if you really like to make a new picture, I'd suggest something of the latter.

Having said that, I think you look fantastic in the photo! I'm so sorry that someone was mean to you on the internet :-( I find transition to be like going through puberty, girls in middle have a hard time with boys (and girls!) who won't be nice. You'll get through it!

[Guest JazzySmurf]

left out a word

"girls in middle" -----> "girls in middle school or in high school"

You look great chicka!

[Guest Guest_]

Valerie: I used to find it hard to smile in a photo. You might want to try looking at yourself smile in a mirror. This is what I done and now I have what I believe to be a very geniune smile. As for as possing. Any womens clothing magazine can help with this issue. Once again this is how I learned. Go to the local mall and watch, see how the women walk and carry themselves. I take my digital camera and take alot of pictures. Any I dont like I just hit the old delete button. (Practice Makes Perfect) as the old saying goes, and as I always say be confident and believe in yourself and live for the moment. Wishing you well. Love Amber L.

That's the problem... I don't know how to relax. This might be depression talking, but I don't know how to simile either. Whenever I need to simile for a picture, it comes out horribly.

How would I learn to pose like a girl? My parent's wouldn't know the difference, and I don't have any friends. I don't even see GGs my age on a daily basis (I go to an engineering school; the gender ratio is nearly 7 men for every 3 women, and almost all the women major in either business or biology, so I never see them).

[VickySGV]

Hmmm -- I will have to upload another couple of pictures to my gallery to show you a good girl pose, but the best way to start--

Do NOT do a "police line up" shot. That may be hard if you are using a cell phone, so someone to help you is best, and second best is a tripod mounted camera on a timer.

Turn your head at a slight angle to the camera, and get your chin down. Put your hand where your collar bones meet your brest bone, and park your chin on it. Thats close to where you want it. (I do have head shots in my gallery where I do that.)

Girls shoulders are back showing off their boobs, but their elbows and hands are in front of their body and held loosely.

With your shoulders back and boobs and hands in front of you, take a step forward, and put your weight on your back foot, and turn the front one out a bit.

To smile, think of something that makes you chuckle with happiness, such as your kitten or puppy, or even a young child wiping spaghetti over their whole face, and hold the look with your mouth open at the end of the chuckle. You don't want a total laugh, but a light friendly happy to see you feeling face. You can do it. Remember one of our nice posts to you with a twinkle in your eye.

Before you do a girl shot of yourself, be on your own, and walk around for a bit enjoying the beauty you see some where. Trying to do photography when you don't know when the old folks are coming home is a total disaster.

[Guest ValerieD]

Trying to do photography when you don't know when the old folks are coming home is a total disaster.

Well, this picture was actually taken by my Mom... maybe that's the problem? I actually appear somewhat feminine in the pictures Physics Club just took this week despite it being in the evening and me not wearing makeup (still don't have the time/money needed for hair removal). Previously my only other examples were "police line up" type photos (driver's licence and a hideous college ID picture that I didn't realize would be taken that day (thought I would just give campus safety a better picture, but they wanted to take one themselves), so beard shadow is obvious in it).