Is Anyone Else Sick Of Hearing This?!

[Guest leo]

everytime i get close to a straight girl she comes out with this exact same sentence no matter what girl it is

"you would be my perfect man, you have everything a girl would ever want, i just wish you was a man!"

ahhhhhhh makes me wont to scream!

also, does anyone else feel really uncomftable when have sex with girls? when i'm doing stuff to them its fine but when it's the other way round, it really doesnt feel right and its wierd

[Guest bronx]

I've actually had that same thing happen to me b4 I started to transition and it hurt really bad, I was like I am a straight guy that's why you're attracted to me. You see, I remember meeting girls and we would hang out and talk and flirt and then they would realize that they were into me and some would say to me in a confused tone that they liked me the way that a girl likes a guy. That's one of the things that made me know that I was a guy in the wrong body, I was throwing off all these guy vibes and I actullaly felt like yeah time to transition, time to make my inner me match my outer me.

I've actully had this conversation with my mother-in law about a week ago, and we both think that this society is so wrapped up in what's between your legs than who you really are, and how you present yourself spititually.

As for being intamite with a girl, I haven't really felt uneasy. I do what's comfortable to me. As a trans man there are some things about my body that I'm unhappy with and I let them know that some things are cool but some things I'm just not into. I think you can say that can be true of anyone. Sex is different for everyone some like this and some like that. Figure out if you already haven't what you like, and then talk to your partner about it. They should respect it. After all sex should be enjoyed.

[Guest Evan_J]

Ditto everything that Bronx said.

[Guest leo]

thanks for the advice bronx

and yeah it really does hurt when that happens to be

but iv decided to get off the dating scene for a while till i get everything sorted

[Sally]

Leo,

You have gotten great advice.

Don't be afraid to let a girl know what makes you feel uncomfortable, believe me there are a few things that I would feel very uncomfortable with even after my transition is completed and I will definately tell my partner (assuming that I ever find one)!

Always remember much like sex and gender are different, love and having sex are different! If you love someone, you can respect thier boundries and they can respect yours.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Crossroads]

I remember watching so many shows about Transgendered people, and being SO sad for them because most of their partners were leaving them. Some found partners after they transitioned, but rarely on those shows did they show someone staying the whole transition. I remember talking to Angie (my partner) about this, telling her how sad I was for them, telling her I didn't understand it. I thought of myself as a straight female, but was able to be with her because I fell for her personality. Once I fell for that, the rest was natural. So if these people loved each other, why did a change in body affect that? Why did some changes in behavior affect how they felt about the entire person?

My seriousness about this subject ate at me for a year or more, and that's why Angie sat me down and talked to me about transitioning in the first place.

In my mind, (and this is coming from someone who is already in a steady relationship, so of course it's going to sound utopian) you fall for someone based on their personality. The people that say, "I'd love you if..." don't love you at all because love transcends boundaries. Boundaries are a huge issue for me because every time I did anything, my mom would say "You just don't have boundaries" or "I just don't think you know where your boundaries lie." Like we said in another topic, if someone has these issues with you before transitioning, they will have issues again. I feel that these people can't really be trusted. There are plenty of girls out there who will love you no matter what body you have. It's just a matter of them finding you.

I guess I'll stop there before I write a novel for you.

[Guest leo]

thanks sally and crossroad

i guess its hard to find someone who will want me for who i am and trust

[Guest Seth]

everytime i get close to a straight girl she comes out with this exact same sentence no matter what girl it is

"you would be my perfect man, you have everything a girl would ever want, i just wish you was a man!"

That's never really happened.

My new girl is strictly straigh, and she has no problem with what'sa hannin' down there.

Except, every once in a while, she'll be all "I wish you had a penis so I could [***********]", yall dig?

[Guest My_Genesis]

Except, every once in a while, she'll be all "I wish you had a penis so I could [***********]", yall dig?

Well that sounds more like me...not that I go around saying that...

I've never really gotten that, although a close friend of mine who's a girl..we were once texting each other and out of nowhere I got "grr I hate you, you're like everything I want in a guy." And I said so why do you hate me? she said "Because you don't feel that way about me.."

well obviously she doesn't see the awkwardness in that like I do..

which brings me to leo's other question...

yeah, I'm so uncomfortable with it that I don't know if I'll ever be able to even have sex without the "normal" male package.

[Guest Mitchel]

That has happened to me before. I lost my first love and best friend that way. She was strictly straight, but we were getting really close and she started to become uncomfortable with it. She told me she had only let it go so far because she thought of me as a guy.

I think that was also my first coherant 'Well, I am a guy' moments.

[Guest leo]

yeah, I'm so uncomfortable with it that I don't know if I'll ever be able to even have sex without the "normal" male package.

i agree with that point so much My_Genesis i totally feel that way.

i guess its just difficult to find someone who will accept what u dont have currently

[Guest Vinn Romano]

I've heard that sentence many times before...

I had many boyfriends before (all are gays), and they used to always say "I wish u're a real man"... And they left me... It really killed me! Argh!

That's why i'm looking for mtfs or other ftms now... I want to date someone who really knows me well...

I'm transsexual, and he/she either... So I don't have to be stealth anymore... Sick of being stealth...

[Sally]

Oh, Vinn,

I know just what you mean about being stealth - I have a long way to go before I have to worry about that, but it does seem like trading one lifetime in hiding for another!

I just want to be Sally and not hide or carry a sign, just be Sally a human being!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest My_Genesis]

i agree with that point so much My_Genesis i totally feel that way.

i guess its just difficult to find someone who will accept what u dont have currently

It's also difficult for me to accept

[Guest Evan_J]

love and having sex are different!

Wow. At least I know that there is at least one woman in the world who is sure of that.

I think this subject is stressful to me because I actually am still in that area of "working out" what the heck I'm gonna do/deal in regards to dating.

True enough, I wanted I wanted to transition first -I figured it would make it easier on me and whoever to not have to go through that and juggle a relationship-but there still is the question of how I'm going to approach it. I guess I read topics like this for insight. I am sure, however, that Sally and Crossroads are right; that "The people that say, "I'd love you if..." don't love you at all" and "if someone has these issues with you before transitioning, they will have issues again." I think the young lady you were dealing with wanted something other than "you" be it sex, or the state of "having a man" or whatever, and you are entitled to more.

[Guest leo]

thanks evan i think your right.

i was on the track of thinking about doing it after transition but i cant help if i fall for someone

[Guest Evan_J]

thanks evan i think your right.

i was on the track of thinking about doing it after transition but i cant help if i fall for someone

I know what ya mean. I've just been going with the "don't pursue her" policy which to me is so wrong I've always used the "if its there , go after it" policy.....it sucks eggs , especially when there's this cute girl......

.....another cute girl.....

...ther's always a cute girl. Frikkin torture. The less honorable half of me says institute "pursue but don't get involved" -at least not in the heart. However, I like this girl......

[Guest Crossroads]

I don't think that "don't pursue" is a good way to do things. Opportunity comes to you, you have to take opportunities as they arise. I'd never be in my relationship if I hadn't taken a chance. That said, I also didn't go out looking for somebody. There's a middle ground.

I'd say, don't search all day and night for someone, but if they find you, don't ignore them.

Cute girls are awesome....especially when they like you!!!!

[Guest leo]

true that dude