Nadine through the years

[Guest NadineElaine]

Hi Everyone Sorry if my bio is a bit long! So i've always known that i was female...growing up i never had the feeling that i was a little boy that should hae been a girl, but rather a little girl that for some reason looked like a boy? Confusing! Around the age of 8 i decided to let my sister know i was a girl, which was met with a nonchalant "all boys feel like that, it'll pass" BUT, i just knew that wasn't true, i KNEW i was female.

During my elementary years, my best friends were girls. We would play pretend, dress up, you know, girly things Now, i tried to have friends at the time that were boys, which resulted in one good male friend that lasted through to adulthood. But for the most part, it was just too awkward around guys. Towards the end of my elementary years, i did start wearing my hair longer, which resulted in quite a bit of teasing. The teasing persisted through junior high as my mannerisms all protrayed as extremely feminine. I tried to do guy things (sports, guy talk), but honestly i am just horrid at it!

One good thing came from Junior High though. I met this girl that i still hold many fond memories of. I was sitting on the bleachers and saw this girl playing football and just totally outperforming the guys! Ok, to be a little clearer, i had no clue she was a girl until i actually talked to her. We quickly became best friends (never spoken, but i feel we were in the same situation haha)...but my parents still would not let us spend the night at each others house, and while i could understand that, i just wish i could have told my parents "Look, there's nothing to worry about because...." Sadly, we lost touch right before High School, and i've never talked to her since

High School proved to be my biggest challenge. I grew my hair out again, as grunge was just making the scene i thought this was the perfect opportunity to come out without actually, you know, coming out! So, long hair, odd apparel, and off i go to school. Well, as it turns out, you can only polish a rock so much, before you just have to face the fact that now you just have a shiny rock! While My long hair and weird clothes were run of the mill for teen boys at the time, i had severely overlooked how i acted, how i moved, how i spoke. I'll shorten this by just saying i never made it through 10th grade, and opted for GED. Not that i could not take teasing or anything like that, i just would rather take myself out of a bad, unsafe element.

Onto Adulthood, my own place and i get to dress and live the way i want! At least part time! This was the time i was happiest with myself I guess this lasted a year or so before i had to get a real job, which meant i had to once again play the part of the boy. I met a girl at this new job (i've always desired females only), and while it didn't work out with her, or the next one, i did finally meet The One.

So i'm now in my young 30's. Married for 9 years, together for 12, and our relationship is Amazing, as is she! I came out to her two weeks ago....After asking her "Do you ever feel like you were put into the wrong body?" she just simply replied "You aren't a guy, are you". She firmly let me know, she loves ME, not my shell, and she would accept me regardless what that shell appeared as.

I know i have a rough road ahead of me, but i feel like the wheel has been put into motion, and i'm so happy for that. I feel better physically and mentally for just saying something to my wife. Now, if only i could find a cute pair of sunglasses, i'm too picky!

[MaryEllen]

Hello Nadine,

Welcome to Laura's Playground. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

MaryEllen

[Guest]

Hi Nadine, That story sounds a lot like someone I know... Me! Giggle. Welcome Home. Jody

PS---Albeit a lot later in my life, I just learned to grit my teeth a lot longer. I hate boying up! LOL. JT

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi Nadine,

<<< hug >>>

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.

The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.

Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.

One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.

We all look forward to seeing you.

vanna