Advice Needed

[Flint]

My girlfriend and i are wanting to tell people we are together people such as our parents, but we are scared they won't react well. A few comments have been thrown about gay people and although i am a man, well atleast i see myslelf as a man, we think this will cause problems cause obvioulsy i'm not a man like they'd probably want their daughter to be with...and if they knew they'd maybe see her as a lesbian and we don't think this will go down too well. I have suggested writing a letter from both of us or letters written seperatley...but i don't know. Her parents know that i am trans, they think i'm just a friend, so not telling them that i am trans is a little too late now. I love this girl very much and i'd hope that her parents could see that i love her and would only want whats best for her, that i may be different but at the endo f the day i want her to be happy and hand on my heart couold never ever do anything to intenitally hurt her or her parents or anyone else she loves. I could do with some advise on what to do? or any stories of experiences?

Thanks in advance

Matt

[Sally]

Matt,

You said that her parents already know that you are trans - that's a major hurdle that you are already over.

How do they treat you, now that they know?

Have you spent much time around them or did they just find out and pretty much not interact at all?

They should be aware that quite often friendships turn into love.

Try to spend more time around her parents if you can without seeming to be under foot all of the time.

Let them see you as you are, that very nice young man that would never hurt anyone.

Once they seem to be comfortable with you will be soon enough to 'drop the other shoe'!

If they have come to think of you as male, there won't be a problem - if they think of you as trans or female - that could cause trouble>

Wish I could be more help, but you are the one who knows (more or less) how they feel about you.

Love ya,

Sally

[Flint]

i haven't actually met her parents yet as we in a long distance relationship, they have heard of me though and think we are just friends. Also her parents are also quite old fashioned and predudiced, so we're quite scared of their reaction....

[Guest Evan_J]

I don't have any advice, but I'll pray for you.

Like Sally says, if they see you as male you won't have any problems, but if they don't it could be difficult. And , personal experience, parents and family members who are out to ruin two people being together usually (not 100%....) do one way or another.

They cause pain and sorrow and heartache -sometimes that never heals- and tell the person they did it because they "love" them

<--bad experience with families

[Guest bronx]

I want share with you what my experience has been thus far with my wifes family. My wifes family are Christian and somwhat conservertive and homophobic. My wife insisted on telling them that I was a transman I on the other hand didn't want them to know. Well she first told her aunt and she was like okay and do you love him, she then told her grandmother and well she really didn't have any reaction at all. The one that was the hardest was telling her mother, You see her mother is the most traditionalist of them all. Well she told her and there was silence, her mom said she needed a little time to take it all in. A few days past and nothing else was really said about it. Fast forward a year later, well lets say that her whole family sees me as her husband, I'm introdused to other people as her husband. Her family doesn't treat me diffrent at all infact we just moved to TX and we're staying with her mother, and her mother says that it's nice to have a man in the house.

I just thought I'll tell you my story if it helps any.

[Guest leo]

bronx that was a really nice story was good it all worked out for you.

matt i think sally is right, make them know you are a guy, i know it will be hard as it is a long distant relationship but it will certainly help

good luck!