Genderqueer: Default gender?

[Guest Lupi]

Hey peeps. I know I haven't been on this part of the site for a while, but I intend to fix that.

For those who don't know, I identify as Genderqueer but default to male.Thus calling myself a 'Genderqueer FTM'.

So the topic is: Do you have a default gender too? And if so, what is it?

[Guest Angel Heart]

Interesting.... lol I do the same with sexuality - i try to identify as pansexual, but I am usually just straight.

As with gender... Eh, my default is the same as my identity: female.

[Guest TiredTraveler]

Hi Lupi,

Forgive me, as I'm not sure I'm actually genderqueer - my GT asked me to look the term up and I'm trying it on. I think I may prefer the term bi-gendered as I tend to want to be fully one or the other depending on the day or the hour. Presently I default to male, but I think internally I default to female - so basically the opposite of you. Male bodied, MTF, but with a strong male identity that wants space too. I'm still in the process of figuring this all out.

[Guest Jo-I-Dunno]

Most of the time I don't really care what gender I am, and I was born and raised male, so I'm essentially always male. The problem is I really really wish I were female for a couple days every month or so but since it's that rare I have no good way to express it!

[Guest Lupi]

I guess genderqueer itself has many different definitions. When I apply genderqueer to myself, I mean that I don't really identify as either or a third gender. I'm just me...

[Guest Chrysee]

No default gender here.

I lived as an on again/off again femme male for 58 years. I then let my girlie girl out and she's had the run of the place since. However, there are groups of days, here and there, when the male side of me gets behind the wheel. After three days or so, that annoys the daylights out of me. I am always glad when 'she' is back in charge.

However, even when one or the other side of me is running things, aspects of the other come through. At my most feminine it's as if my male side is backseat driving.

Accalia mentioned 'pansexual' which is giving me pause. I shook things up enough in my world when I came out two years ago and still have family members unable to deal with it. Close members. And my partner has walked a thin line between accepting and not ever since. Can't imagine what she'd have said if, when she asked what I wanted for Christmas, I'd answered: a boyfriend. One with breasts, hips, a butt, and beautiful long hair, but with the 'outside plumbing' as well.

Just the thought of the look on her face upon hearing that makes me shiver for me and cry for her.

Someone 'in the know' about me referred to me as 'bisexual' the other day and for some reason the term, bugged me. Pansexual has a poetic, mythological feel to it.

Hmmmm.

With love,

Cissy

[Guest Lupi]

I also consider myself pansexual. But for me it's just liking/loving people without taking their junk or gender idenification into account... And honestly, is that really what people fall in love with?

[Guest Protoman2050]

I'm really more of a MAAB femme androgyne, but I pretty much just call myself an non-op transgirl.