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Guest Nikki R

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Guest Nikki R

What I mean by this is , both my male and female side both absolutely love women , especially my wife of 20 years that I can't praise enough for her love and acceptance of both sides of me. I was just wandering if anyone else felt this way.

Hugs Nikki R

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Oh you bet! Discovering I was born with both sexes, I had a lot of growing pains. Who I really am, what I am. How so I fit into my own puzzle. If i am both, if I am completely hetero, wouldn't that make me Bi? That didn't fit? After agonizing about it, I mentioned it at a support group meeting. Another gal hugged me and said. That's easy Honey, you're Hetero-Trans-Lesbian!" Hey, that works for me! I have been fending off men with a simple Hetero-Lesbian tag ever since. It really amuses my girl friends at their reactions.

You are what you are. Enjoy! Hug. Jody-JodyAnn Giggle.

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Guest Karen K

Nikki and Jody,

I have long been attracted to women. Never once have I looked at a male with the same desires I have felt for a female. It is a curiosity, to me, that at this point in my transition, I am asexual. Perhaps due to my lowered labido, or is it just a time for me to reflect on what I may want in the future. Strange as it may seem, I am indifferent as to the gender of my next, and hopefully final, mate.

Another odd point, which leaves the door open for the possibilities, is that, here in Texas, I could go all the way through transition including GCS (SRS) and still be able to marry a woman! I assume that this would be the case if I didn't have an amended Birth Certificate with a female designation. The state would still believe me to be "male" and therefore I, as a female, could marry another female. Despite the fact that Texas doen't allow same sex marriage. On the other hand, I would not be allow to marry a man. I should state here, that I was not born in Texas but rather in Arizona. I am a naturalized Texan.I must Check with Pima County records and find the processes required to change, at least, my name.

Laura Jane

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Guest Sentience

Ditto......Eh I don't mean I love your wife...... Not that I wouldn't if we met.....I mean why wouldn't I love her......but I wouldn't love her....not that I couldn't.....digging digging deeper.......help!

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Guest Karen K

I should state, I am a divorcee. My wife was unwilling to stay for the transformation, if she had stayed, I would still be in love with her. I am single and lonely for campanionship.

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......

you're Hetero-Trans-Lesbian!" Hey, that works for me!

That's a great description I may just use that myself.

....

I am single and lonely for campanionship.

You're not alone.

@Nikki

You're definitely not alone with your feelings.

Huggs,

Joann

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Guest Penelope

Throughout my life, whatever else might have confused me, I've been attracted to women and never men.

If that sometimes makes me a lesbian in a male body, so be it.

Penny

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Guest midnyteTX

That's easy Honey, you're Hetero-Trans-Lesbian!" Hey, that works for me! I have been fending off men with a simple Hetero-Lesbian tag ever since. It really amuses my girl friends at their reactions.

You are what you are. Enjoy! Hug. Jody-JodyAnn Giggle.

I am totally with you Jody, I find no attraction in seeing men, but I love women, and so totally lesbian, or as another friend of mine told me, "I'm a lipstick lesbian, trapped in a man's body"

Hugs

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Guest KatyDesire

Sexual attraction, that is, who you are attracted to, and gender expression, that is how you prefer to express yourself, are NOT, perhaps surprisingly, related. Variations of either can occur completely independently of each other. The problem is that at birth we are assigned a sex based on what someone thinks they see of the external genitalia. Based on that, you are expected to have certain sexual preferences, types of behaviour, dress, and so on.

In fact, that is simply not true. There are variations along all those spectra. And all are completely normal. No two cakes have exactly the same ingredients, but all can be good to eat.

Which is why I really don't like the terms "homosexual", "heterosexual", "gay", "lesbian", or whatever. We are all people with different desires and ways of expressing ourselves. If we happen to be sexually attracted to genetic females, then that's great. But it doesn't mean labels have to be stuck on anyone, and it doesn't mean anyone is "abnormal". These are all expressions and variations of normal.

In the same way that the colour of your hair or your eyes really does not justify a separate classification.

So chill out - you are very normal!

Hugs,

Katy

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Personally, I identify as bi, (but in practice, I am married). However, when I read this, I was reminded of the comedian Eddie Izzard. If you haven't seen it, I recommend watching Dressed to Kill. It is rather hilarious. I believe at some point he says "I'm a male lesbian."

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Guest Simon/simone

I'm hearing you Nikki R, I'm exactly the same. It really troubled me at first my wanting to be a woman yet attracted to woman all at the same time (shouldn't I be attracted to men if I am a woman?) then I gave up trying to figure out which box I fit into and just excepted whatever it is that I am and whatever emotions and desires I have and since then haven't been happier.

JodyAnn "Hetero-Trans-Lesbian!" LOVE IT! I'm going to steal that phrase for myself.

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Guest Nikki R

Thanks to all of you. I do not like lablels ( they seem to be to defining ) but how else are we to describe something ? It is a little confusing to want to look and feel like a woman and still be only attracted to women. Unfortunately here in the south the " social norm " way of thinking is hard to break free of although I'm getting better and trying to help raise my childern to be more open minded of those that are outside of that social norm.

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Oh you bet! Discovering I was born with both sexes, I had a lot of growing pains. Who I really am, what I am. How so I fit into my own puzzle. If i am both, if I am completely hetero, wouldn't that make me Bi? That didn't fit? After agonizing about it, I mentioned it at a support group meeting. Another gal hugged me and said. That's easy Honey, you're Hetero-Trans-Lesbian!" Hey, that works for me! I have been fending off men with a simple Hetero-Lesbian tag ever since. It really amuses my girl friends at their reactions.

You are what you are. Enjoy! Hug. Jody-JodyAnn Giggle.

Wow! That's a new one on me.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Sheri-bi

I was 16 when I first had sexual intercourse. It was with my girlfriend. We went twice that day. During the first time, I don't remember having any fantasies. But during the second time, in order to get over the hump (ha!), I thought about my male mentor's penis. For the last 40+ years, that has been my pattern. I'm sexually attracted to women first, and secondly to men.

To add another wrinkle (and I'm not talking about shrinkage :), my physical attraction to men is more intense that my attraction to women. Which is why I think about men more when my libido's lower. However, my psychological attraction is more intense for women. I develop crushes on women all the time. Never for men. In fact, men kinda scare me.

Trying to label myself gets me dizzy. Bigender bisexual? Transwoman lesbian? Cross dressing (somewhat repressed) gay man? Oedipally arrested? Labels can be thought provoking, but can't really fully capture our experiences?

It goes without saying, my gender and sexual complexities make relationships problematic. I'm OK with that and have grown happy with being a rare, if solitary bird.

ps Sorry about the puns!

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Throughout my life, whatever else might have confused me, I've been attracted to women and never men.

If that sometimes makes me a lesbian in a male body, so be it.

Penny

Same with me, Penelope.

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When I first heard 'male lesbian', I was intrigued by the perception.

I felt that I was that early in my journey. I'm not attracted to men and

love women. I kinda like the term.

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Guest Eve Caillard

Yep - I identify with male lesbian. Because of my CD arrival (or re-awakening) this year, only now do I understand after years of struggle through my 16-53 years that I never fitted society's role model of male. I have always been an outsider, and now I 'get it'. I once did a psychometric test at work - Strengths Deployment Inventory. The tester was alarmed at my inability to move through emotions. He said "You will blow out one day if you don't change". At the time I did not understand but later I did have a breakdown. Now I understand I was crushing the 'femme' side inside me, trying to be "the man".

I am so different now. And these changes made me think: hey, am I gay? I do not know. I might be - given the right moment. So I am wary of labels. I call myself male lesbian BUT given certain circumstances, who knows, I might learn more about myself and become different.

So, labels can be difficult: am I transgender, transexual, CD, transvestite, etc? It is all based on other people's perceptions. I know I like who I am and I'll stick with that: girly, rather femme male who to 99%of the population I am simply a typical blunt northerner from the UK. I adore corss-dressing and go under-dressed all the time. So my take is - let others label, I'll just be me. And yes: I think I am a male lesbian and proud of it. Even if I went to transexual surgery, I cannot stop myself loving women. I find them fantastic - almost like sisters in a kind of way.

However...my daughter is turning out more masculine than I am...and she is beginning to suspect all is not what it seems with her father. How do I sort that one out?

Gulp! :o

Eve

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

I AM A LESBIAN TOO!! i love women and i love my wife, i really enjoy being with women, ive never seen a man in a sexual way i can admit someone is handsome or looks good, but what i tend to think about man is, i would like to look like that in man mode like admiration or something. but i have an issue here, i love having intercourse with women BUT i like prostate stimulation too, sometimes when im CD i like to play with toys but i never imagine a man i always imagine a woman with a strapon or something like that....what does that make me???-

-Litzy-

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