A "plan"? I'll need some comments.

[Guest noelleis]

So I was thinking about how I'm going to have to tell my father eventually. I think that I'll work up the courage to tell him between now and when I graduate in my senior year.

I've told my counselor, and I'm in the process of coming out to my former friends. It helps that one of our closest friends came out as FTM, so it isn't that great of a shock to them. Here's where the first question comes into play: should I do my best to tell people, or should I let the news leak? Letting it leak is softer, and it'll let people adjust to me over a long time. Telling people is faster and more efficient, but it's abrupt.

I was considering having an Apollo program-style bootcamp transformation over the summer of my senior year and during the winter break, taking all the time from here to then working on mannerisms and my voice. By the time I reach college, I hope to pass without fail (no irony intended). I think that it would be easiest to simply invest all of my time by devoting basically my entire summer to training in addition to clandestine work instead of seeking to continue transitioning (at least non-chemical) through college, as I don't want to cause anybody any stress. I can internalize my issues, but I can't take someone else's discomfort for them.

Would it work? Given the total of 1115 hours that I could be using, can this be done? (given approximately 30mins a day during every weekday of the school year and eight hours a day during the summer, not counting any weekends) I'd need to learn very quickly, and I'd also have to make some serious physical changes. I'd have to learn an entirely new daily routine, but I think that it could be done.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

OK hon, let's slow down OK?

Transitioning is not a bootcamp drill. You are engaging in life dynamics that take more time than you realize. Coming out is not trivial and it does not require complete transitioning as a precondition. Work with a gender therapist and take each step carefully and deliberately.

Brenda

[Carolyn Marie]

Noellis, I do agree with Brenda about this. Learning "the ropes" doesn't require intense drilling and daily practice. For most of us, it just takes doing it, a little at a time. Nor is it necessary to "pass" or blend or whatever you want to call it, perfectly from the get go. Yes, you can work on your voice at home or in the car on a regular basis, and work on other things as you get time. But practicing it all until you're blue in the face is going to make it seem like work or drudgery, and take all the fun and wonder out of it.

For me, just going out and letting me be me was tons of fun, from the very beginning. Being a woman isn't a job, its a way of life.

Regarding coming out; its a very personal decision, how to go about it. For me, the direct approach worked out all right. I like being in control of things. But everyone is different, and there is no "right" way. Whatever way you choose, I wish you luck.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest]

I'm not sure what leaking out means to you, but to me, it implies the rumor mill has it's say first. Then you have to do damage control. No matter what you say then, it's never better than the juicy stories about you. Personally I would never want to live that down.

I have a large core of friends and people in the community that I have befriended that I have shared a lot about me and what I am going through. I can for the most part be transparent about me. They are my damage control.

"Did you hear about old so-and-so that calls himself Jody and thinks he's a girl! Weirdo!" "Oh you mean Jody the bi-gender person? She was born with both genders and she is discovering her true self. She is really sweet and a lot of fun. You should talk to her some time." I can't present that in that way and expect any validation. People that know me are my best defense and the rumor mill does get back to me. The rumor mill is still in full production about me, but functionally in my life it has little impact. I have blocked the titlewave with friendships.

Maybe re-think the leak-out idea? YMMV. Hug. JodyAnn