Coming out to teachers at school?

[Guest feathering]

At the beginning of the school year, almost all of my teachers had us write a sort of "about me" kind of thing and on the back we were supposed to say something that we wanted them to know. Having difficulty speaking to people in general, I chose to write something along the lines of "I am transgender and prefer male pronouns" instead. None of the teachers said anything about it or acknowledged it, which honestly didn't bother me that much since they have over two hundred students each and I don't think they can keep track of the who-said-what, especially at the beginning of the year.

The only two teachers I ever came out to were my English and Science teachers from my freshman year when I started the Gay Straight Alliance. But after a semester of school and starting up the new year, I'd really like to talk to my current teachers and ask that they use the proper pronouns. I have a lot of problems speaking to anybody, especially at school and especially teachers, so I know it'll be difficult for me, and I just have no idea how to go about it? I'm an aid for my old English teacher and her entire class sees me as male without me having to say anything, so I know I pass fine to people not in my own grade who have known me for a while. I'm just very bad at talking to the teachers I don't know well, and I was wondering if anyone had any tips?

[Guest aleon515]

Well I doubt that they'd remember that kind of paper or associate it with any one in particular. If you are better on paper than out loud, you might write it down and hand it in person to teachers you think might be sympathetic. I have found that my gut has been pretty good at recognizing people who will get this. I think you are going to have to start standing up for yourself. I don't think being socialized as a female necessarily encourages this type of thing, so you are going to have learn it yourself.

--Jay

[Guest aadenr]

I understand what you feel but I had it a tiny bit easier. My therapist told all my teachers cause I came out my last year in high school almost 3 years ago now. I only told one of my counselors before i even got a therapist and it was hard. I was shaking the whole time lol.

If you have trouble talking to people how about writing a letter expressing what you want? I know some of my teachers weren't generally uncomfortable with me wanting to be called male but they were more uncomfortable with what other students would think. From my experience only my friends caught on or people who knew me. Everyone else didn't even notice or care to say anything. So you can explain that. Students tend to follow teachers. After a while when the teachers got used to it everyone else just did it because all the others were.

I will tell you it's important though to make sure that they understand this is what you want and that you understand it will take time. I had one teacher who is very liberal but had the hardest time with me. She called me "walking class" one time because she just was embarrassed about what other people would think when she was trying to get my attention from down the hall. She got over it after a couple months. It takes time. People mess up but in the end its rewarding. My teAchers would switch from he and she in the beginning and I'm sure students just thought something crazy was going on. But if you act like you don't care and everything is normal, they don't care. Transitioning is hard and we just have to know its going to be slippery but we just gotta keep our heads up and walk on and not worry about what others think. Easier said than done but its a start.

[Ravin]

Would your parents back you up? Do they have official emails? A note with a parent signature along with your request would probably go farther, but by the time they bother to learn students' names, they should also figure out the pronoun thing if you told all of them on intro papers. I can't think of any reason a teacher would have students do that except to help them actually learn who their students are (names at least!).