Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Changing Hearts, Changing Minds.


Guest Rayne

Recommended Posts

"I really use to hate gay people" is what she said to me.

My friend of 3 years with whom I work. She despenses the medication to the pharmacy on the ward, and I clean up messes made by patients recovering from substance abuse, PTSD, TBI, etc.

I'm the housekeeper.

But our jobs, for a few hours a day, make sure that our circles travel within one another.

She had known me back when I was a man....for three years she knew me as such.

I told her months ago that I was changing gender and she was happy for me.

Today she told me, "I use to hate gay people. I mean, with a passion....just hate them. Then I met you. We've been friends for 3 years now and when you told me you were changing gender I thought, 'Well, what am I suppose to do now? Hate her?'"

She then added, "I believe God sent you to me. I had hated gay people so strongly for so long that it never occured to me that they were actually PEOPLE." (Emphasis hers)

She went on to say that she saw the emotion in my eyes when I told her I was changing genders and realized how much pain I was in and it hit her that, for millions of people world wide, this is real. And not just transgendered...but everyone that's in the LBGT community. We all have families and struggle with acceptance.

WE'RE real.

We're PEOPLE.

She believes God sent me to her as a lesson not to hate for such minutea and that it's not her place to judge - it's her place to accept.

Whether or not He did, I have no idea. Hey, I'm just a housekeeper in WY.

I told her that it's easy to hate as long as you keep the group at arms length and they reside in obscurity. It's not so easy when they have a face.

And a mind....and hopes, and dreams.

In my transition I set out to change just me....hair, clothes, etc with the idea being that I would be more feminine on the outside - to match the woman I am on the inside.

I'm in the process of doing that and it's a journey that's never really going to end. Nor do I want it to.

But it would also appear that in the process, I've changed at least one other person. Someone that no longer hates, someone that sees me for what I am...

A human being that's just trying to live her life as normally as I can.

Rayne

Link to comment
Guest April63

My parents are like that, but they never hated gay people. They believe all people deserve the same basic rights and respect unless they show the indecency necessary to void that respect. So with the LGBT community, they are not supportive, but give the same rights and respect to us just as if we were part of the straight community. My mom said it comes from the principle of loving one another.

April

Link to comment

That is so good to hear, if each of us can change just one person, look how much better off the world would be!

And if we could each change two ...

Love ya and everybody else,

Sally

Link to comment
Guest CharliTo

That's beautiful...and yes, I believe that too.... although there supposedly is a rift between the LGB community and the T community, in the end I think we shouldn't really do that.

Luckily I live in Hawaii where diversity is so very tolerated here...in fact it's often celebrated.

Link to comment
Guest Donna Jean

Hello, Rayne....

Hon, that's a very uplifting and heart warming story. We know that we won't change the world, but, one at a time and with love and understanding we can change OUR world as we live day by day!

Thanks for that Rayne!

****HUGGS****

Donna Jean

Link to comment
Guest Sofiadragon

That sounds nice & all, but from personall experience I would be warry about this person from now on 'cause they seem like they are playing a game w/ you but there is a chance that I am wrong but either way I would still be extra cautious around them from now on.

Link to comment
Guest Elizabeth K

Rayne! Great story - maybe that's why we are here...

And I wouldn't try to explain why we aren't really 'gay people.' She will never understand. Heck I don't understand what I am either as you can see below. The simple answer is gays and lesbians - bisexual poeople as well, don't want to change their sexual... well... equipment and are as happy as can be in their apparent biological sex. Their deal is sexual preference. My take on it I guess - I don't know for sure.

As to us as transsexual? Go figure. I am married and have three kids. I love pleasuring my wife - I never had a homosexual relationship with a man, in fact was always curious why I never attracted a man, as I felt so female sometimes. Then I realized straight men didn't want me because I looked like a man, gay men didn't want me because they could sense I was really a woman, Gays dislike the idea of sexual relations with women. Why did straight women like me? I was a big ole sensitive guy to them - and I "got them"- knew what they were and how they thought, and I looked male.

Rationalization? I donno

But when I do SRS - gonna use the new equipment. In fact its really getting to be a problem now that I am transitioning, I mean those thoughts of being a real sexually functioning woman sooner more than later - and where that leads. Is that gay? I dont know and don't care... I am what I am. Wow...

Link to comment

Liz has hit one of the big problem areas for people accepting us - the whole 'are you gay if or are you straight if' issue because it can be a turn off for straight men and woman as well as gay men and women - basically anyone that is more interested in labels than in people is going to be afraid of bieng with us because of what 'they' will be called by others. It is hard, very hard to deal with a shifting sense of your own sexuality, if it happens - sometimes it doesn't, but I am a lot like Elizabeth here. I'm not so sure that I will ever find someone that I feel that strongly about - I still haven't changed my thoughts on premarital sex - it's not the social no-no that it used to be, but for me it just isn't an option - I'm really old fashioned! So I might go to my grave as the world's oldest virgin in two genders! What an honor!

Love ya,

Sally

Link to comment
Guest Sofiadragon
Liz has hit one of the big problem areas for people accepting us - the whole 'are you gay if or are you straight if' issue because it can be a turn off for straight men and woman as well as gay men and women - basically anyone that is more interested in labels than in people is going to be afraid of bieng with us because of what 'they' will be called by others. It is hard, very hard to deal with a shifting sense of your own sexuality, if it happens - sometimes it doesn't, but I am a lot like Elizabeth here. I'm not so sure that I will ever find someone that I feel that strongly about - I still haven't changed my thoughts on premarital sex - it's not the social no-no that it used to be, but for me it just isn't an option - I'm really old fashioned! So I might go to my grave as the world's oldest virgin in two genders! What an honor!

Love ya,

Sally

If anyone would like to see more then one perfect example to this on a daily basis check out yahoo answers from time to time there are all kinds of ignorant people that are posting questions regarding this & think that they are all right & one thing that I have noticed is that most of the ones out there that are doing things like this that has been refered int the quoted post above me are people that are very bible oriented religiously (no offense to anyone here that is I am just making a point) but they don't seem to have any reragd to us & our feelings so they try to start BS w/ other people & pass it off as truth & that is what causes the kinds of things that are being discussed here. Again I wasn't meaning to anger anyone this is just something that I have noticed alot since I started to hang around w/ the homosexual crowd when I was in HS & then more w/ the transgender crowd when I began to learn more about myself.

Link to comment
Guest julia_d

Dear Rayne.. you just found out.. that in changing/accepting ourselves we change/accept the world as it is.

Isn't it a better place for it?

I'm still coming to terms with being "married".. in all but the documents.. to the greatest guy in the world.. my one in a million. Wishing you the same happiness and love that I found from an unexpected quarter XD

pp has trouble typing because the nails are getting rather long :)

Link to comment
Guest Kelly Ann

Hi Rayne...I've seen rain come in sideways and change direction abruptly...this is truely THE first time I've felt Rayne go straight upwards :D That was so uplifting thank-you lady.Acceptance is that pot 'o gold we've been told about at the end of the rainbow.Buuuuut...JUST a housekeeper? My younger sister has been a CNA for 15+ years and now does home health care...you have a demanding, difficult job Rayne and must be very good at it...look how your co-woekers treat you. Continued sucess! You GOoooo Girl...beaming, Kelly Ann

Link to comment
Dear Rayne.. you just found out.. that in changing/accepting ourselves we change/accept the world as it is.

Isn't it a better place for it?

I'm still coming to terms with being "married".. in all but the documents.. to the greatest guy in the world.. my one in a million. Wishing you the same happiness and love that I found from an unexpected quarter XD

pp has trouble typing because the nails are getting rather long :)

It's a nice feeling and I didn't expect it. It doesn't happen often, but when it does it's a REAL lift. I have had people I work with turn their backs on me, not many but some. Most are accepting and supportive. They want to do the right thing but don't know what that is. So, I tell them to treat me no differently than they ever have and just remember to address me in the feminine.

Rayne

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   9 Members, 0 Anonymous, 85 Guests (See full list)

    • Mikayla2024
    • Charlize
    • MaryEllen
    • ClaireBloom
    • Ivy
    • SamC
    • Charleigh Lucille
    • Avra
    • Mmindy
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.9k
    • Total Posts
      770.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,141
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Mikayla2024
    Newest Member
    Mikayla2024
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. DaveMK
      DaveMK
    2. Heidi45
      Heidi45
      (46 years old)
    3. Jordy
      Jordy
      (42 years old)
    4. stella
      stella
      (61 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ivy
      I don't need that "new math."  My brain does it on its own.
    • Willow
      You know the advantages we had using long division and multiplication, slide rules and log table?  We can look at a result and know right away if something is wrong with it. Kids that have grown up using calculators can hit keystrokes on their calculator but they have no clue that the answer is wrong when there is a factor of ten that they messed up.  Also we learned our basic math tables inside out and upside down. They use this new math that mixes everything up.  
    • Mmindy
      Good afternoon Kayla,   Welcome to Transgender Pulse Forum, I hope you find this place as helpful and fun as I do. There are so many people from all walks of life, and locations in the World. Look around and join in on any threads you find interesting.   Best wishes, stay positive and motivated,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mikayla2024
      Hi All,   So today, I finally met with my Nurse Practitioner in her office to officially go over HRT for me. A little bit of background about gender affirming care in my province I live in - Doctors and NP’s now have the authority to perform gender affirming care as per a new directive recently. I only know because 6 weeks ago when I met with her and telling her about who I truly am, she said that before our appointment she was in a province wide zoom meeting with the sexual health centre in Halifax about gender affirming care and them explaining to all the PCP’s that if they can handle gender affirming care in the community as it would help save resources to focus on the more sensitive clientele such as children and teens.   At the end, I had to sign a document ensuring I understood everything. I grabbed the document so fast and signed away !!   So, she prescribed XXmg of spiro daily in the morning (Anti-Androgen) to start for 4 weeks and then seeing how I respond to that, she’s going to then start me on Estrogen pills. I already have a follow up appointment booked at the end of June.   I trust my NP wholeheartedly, kinda disappointed that I didn’t get the E, but I totally understand why. I’m a little nervous with the side effects however of Spiro, but regardless of side effects I’m going ahead with the plan and trusting in process and becoming who I’m truly supposed to be.   Question though as I’m curious - I know it’s a low dose of spiro but even then what sort of changes can I see from just the spiro alone without the e for those first 4 weeks?    thanks everyone!!   Kayla
    • April Marie
      Very cute!!!
    • Mmindy
      Yes I do... Creating/Building handcrafted gifts for family and friends using wood or metal. Camping and all the things you think could go with that, hiking, fishing, hunting, bird watching, meeting new people, and music festivals. Bluegrass, Folk, Americana. Seeing new parts of the world, and historical locations. Star gazing.   My father use to say he didn't trust anyone that didn't have at least to vises. I'm not so worried about your vises, however I don't think anyone should have less than two hobbies.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Congratulations @LoreleiI hope it works out for you.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • KathyLauren
      We were not allowed to use calculators in high school.  Even if we could afford one, $80 (in 1970 dollars!) would only get you a four-function calculator, so it would have been pointless anyway.  Everything was slide rules and longhand.  Being a math nerd, that was no hardship for me.   When my brothers and I were cleaning out my father's house after he passed, I found a couple of slide rules in his wife's desk.  I appropriated them and still have them, my own having been foolishly tossed years ago.  
    • Carolyn Marie
      That is lovely, Charlize.  Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, and congrats on your "anniversary."  It's always been the little things that make me happiest about being a woman outwardly, and I'm glad that it's the same for you.  Getting older can sometimes be unpleasant and difficult, but we who transitioned later in life can appreciate the changes transition has brought us, as much as, or perhaps more than, someone who transitioned young.    HUGS   Carolyn Marie
    • Mmindy
      Hugs @MaeBeIt's normal to loose sleep after losing a job. Then you compound that with your anticipated move across the country and transitioning. I'm surprised you're getting any sleep. I'm also sure your wife does since any anxiety you're experiencing. I don't know if you're using online counseling or not, but it might be a good idea to keep in touch with your therapist via video until you locate a local therapist in your new community once you've moved.    It's okay to feel lost or detached while you're in the moving/job hunting process.   I'm excited for you and your new opportunities.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Carolyn Marie
      I would like to mention that I participated in this study today and completed a one hour interview with Mr. Davenport.  He had a lot of really excellent questions and was very nice.  I think he learned a lot from me, and I enjoyed talking with him.   Carolyn Marie
    • Charlize
      4 years ago after 63 years as a man my wife asked me what i wanted for my 64th birthday. I told her that i wanted her to come with me to the mall to get my ears pierced. That was our first trip out together as a pair of females. I think she felt so many of the fears i had felt for years when i'd dress and enter the world as myself. We did it and the sky didn't fall on us. I was walking on air, finally myself and in the world with the woman i love.      4 years have passed now. "He" is no longer presenting himself anywhere. He is not gone. 63 years of him dominating my life leaves many marks, many of which i still enjoy. He will always be part of me. The world now sees a much different person. I am still adjusting to the reactions of others. At the farm newcomers coming for lumber from the sawmill seem amazed when i come out to greet them. The "Your Charlize!" statements hold an incredulity i enjoy. When it comes to moving wood i am relegated to a much lighter load. No complaints form this older gal about that. It's fun to see the guys showing off a bit for my benefit but i wonder if they know how those boards got there to start? Mmmm being female brings up many interesting views i had not noticed before. Seeing the world from two sides is a privilege that compensates for the ignorance of the haters who simply can't understand. Speaking of that i wonder at how much different i might have been in a fully accepting world. Adversity does give perspectives not otherwise seen. I've found that in several aspects of my life.    Anyway 68 is great so far.    It's been very hot for this time of year here in NJ. Yesterday i was wearing a knee length jean skirt and nice red top when i went out to grab a pizza. Yea, we had a pizza party with my family. It was lovely. As i left the pizzeria with the pies in hands a gentleman ran to open the door for me. I looked at him to thank him and noticed his gaze seemed glued to my legs only looking up to smile when he heard my thanks. Ahhhh it's lovely to be a 68 year old hottie.     At 76 i'm still a happy young lady.  Men still smile and so do the women i meet at the store.  Life blesses me as the earth travels on another trip around the sun.  I am finding a peace with myself and the world that seemed impossible at 62.     Hugs,   Charlize
    • Vidanjali
      Thank you, @Betty K. You did very well in all respects. Please take care of your mental well-being, dear. Digging so deeply into this is bound to affect your inner peace. Don't let it stick to you, if you can. Much love. 
    • BobbiSkunk
      Last night was salmon (on a cedar plank?) and lima beans!  Kind of simple, but I needed that.   ...   Please, if anyone has tasty fish recipes share them?  Also, not sure why the salmon came with a small cedar plank to cook it on, was just looking to try something new.  >.>
    • Karen Carey
      Where am I?   I now have the answer.   A short recap. Having been diagnosed with gender dysphoria last year, at the age of 79, I started an initial dose of HRT in December. My psychiatrist suggested that it was likely to affect me in one of three ways. Firstly, that oestrogen was not right for me and to discontinue it; secondly that it might push me down the road to transition; thirdly that it might temper the dysphoria such that there would be no need to seek further transition. I felt a mix of wanting two and three, but with social transitioning (outside the family) terrifying me.    The first four months produced mild physical and mental changes that I have talked about before, and seem to be common. I felt that the HRT was easing me down the path to transitioning, encouraged by an Endo who was keen to hear of my progress with name-change and coming out further. (This on the assumption that I wanted to increase the HRT. I did not.)   Then, something strange happened.  In April I started reading @SallyStone’s chapters of her life (Sally’s Trans World, a wonderful read).  She made me think hard, and in a slightly different way from before. A switch clicked off.  It was 15th April when the desire to transition left me. Of course, the dysphoria has not wound back to zero.  I still love the feminine, admire the feminine form, and dressing as a woman. But, the urge to transition has gone.  The fear that I may regress just as suddenly is now easing. The result is a much more relaxed me.   My psychiatrist is very pleased (as am I) with the effect that HRT has had on me, and while recognising that GD is still his diagnosis, he recommends staying on the low dose. My GP is delighted that I am not proceeding any further with transition from a medical perspective. For me, the small physical effects that I am experiencing are outweighed by the mental benefits.   I write this to give a different perspective on the value of low-dose HRT. It may help those with GD who are uncertain about transitioning.   Thanks for reading.   Karen  
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...