Changing Hearts, Changing Minds.

[Guest Rayne]

"I really use to hate gay people" is what she said to me.

My friend of 3 years with whom I work. She despenses the medication to the pharmacy on the ward, and I clean up messes made by patients recovering from substance abuse, PTSD, TBI, etc.

I'm the housekeeper.

But our jobs, for a few hours a day, make sure that our circles travel within one another.

She had known me back when I was a man....for three years she knew me as such.

I told her months ago that I was changing gender and she was happy for me.

Today she told me, "I use to hate gay people. I mean, with a passion....just hate them. Then I met you. We've been friends for 3 years now and when you told me you were changing gender I thought, 'Well, what am I suppose to do now? Hate her?'"

She then added, "I believe God sent you to me. I had hated gay people so strongly for so long that it never occured to me that they were actually PEOPLE." (Emphasis hers)

She went on to say that she saw the emotion in my eyes when I told her I was changing genders and realized how much pain I was in and it hit her that, for millions of people world wide, this is real. And not just transgendered...but everyone that's in the LBGT community. We all have families and struggle with acceptance.

WE'RE real.

We're PEOPLE.

She believes God sent me to her as a lesson not to hate for such minutea and that it's not her place to judge - it's her place to accept.

Whether or not He did, I have no idea. Hey, I'm just a housekeeper in WY.

I told her that it's easy to hate as long as you keep the group at arms length and they reside in obscurity. It's not so easy when they have a face.

And a mind....and hopes, and dreams.

In my transition I set out to change just me....hair, clothes, etc with the idea being that I would be more feminine on the outside - to match the woman I am on the inside.

I'm in the process of doing that and it's a journey that's never really going to end. Nor do I want it to.

But it would also appear that in the process, I've changed at least one other person. Someone that no longer hates, someone that sees me for what I am...

A human being that's just trying to live her life as normally as I can.

Rayne

[Guest Martin]

Thank you for sharing this. It gave me hope.

[Guest April63]

My parents are like that, but they never hated gay people. They believe all people deserve the same basic rights and respect unless they show the indecency necessary to void that respect. So with the LGBT community, they are not supportive, but give the same rights and respect to us just as if we were part of the straight community. My mom said it comes from the principle of loving one another.

April

[Sally]

That is so good to hear, if each of us can change just one person, look how much better off the world would be!

And if we could each change two ...

Love ya and everybody else,

Sally

[Guest CharliTo]

That's beautiful...and yes, I believe that too.... although there supposedly is a rift between the LGB community and the T community, in the end I think we shouldn't really do that.

Luckily I live in Hawaii where diversity is so very tolerated here...in fact it's often celebrated.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Hello, Rayne....

Hon, that's a very uplifting and heart warming story. We know that we won't change the world, but, one at a time and with love and understanding we can change OUR world as we live day by day!

Thanks for that Rayne!

****HUGGS****

Donna Jean

[Guest Sofiadragon]

That sounds nice & all, but from personall experience I would be warry about this person from now on 'cause they seem like they are playing a game w/ you but there is a chance that I am wrong but either way I would still be extra cautious around them from now on.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Rayne! Great story - maybe that's why we are here...

And I wouldn't try to explain why we aren't really 'gay people.' She will never understand. Heck I don't understand what I am either as you can see below. The simple answer is gays and lesbians - bisexual poeople as well, don't want to change their sexual... well... equipment and are as happy as can be in their apparent biological sex. Their deal is sexual preference. My take on it I guess - I don't know for sure.

As to us as transsexual? Go figure. I am married and have three kids. I love pleasuring my wife - I never had a homosexual relationship with a man, in fact was always curious why I never attracted a man, as I felt so female sometimes. Then I realized straight men didn't want me because I looked like a man, gay men didn't want me because they could sense I was really a woman, Gays dislike the idea of sexual relations with women. Why did straight women like me? I was a big ole sensitive guy to them - and I "got them"- knew what they were and how they thought, and I looked male.

Rationalization? I donno

But when I do SRS - gonna use the new equipment. In fact its really getting to be a problem now that I am transitioning, I mean those thoughts of being a real sexually functioning woman sooner more than later - and where that leads. Is that gay? I dont know and don't care... I am what I am. Wow...

[Sally]

Liz has hit one of the big problem areas for people accepting us - the whole 'are you gay if or are you straight if' issue because it can be a turn off for straight men and woman as well as gay men and women - basically anyone that is more interested in labels than in people is going to be afraid of bieng with us because of what 'they' will be called by others. It is hard, very hard to deal with a shifting sense of your own sexuality, if it happens - sometimes it doesn't, but I am a lot like Elizabeth here. I'm not so sure that I will ever find someone that I feel that strongly about - I still haven't changed my thoughts on premarital sex - it's not the social no-no that it used to be, but for me it just isn't an option - I'm really old fashioned! So I might go to my grave as the world's oldest virgin in two genders! What an honor!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Sofiadragon]

Liz has hit one of the big problem areas for people accepting us - the whole 'are you gay if or are you straight if' issue because it can be a turn off for straight men and woman as well as gay men and women - basically anyone that is more interested in labels than in people is going to be afraid of bieng with us because of what 'they' will be called by others. It is hard, very hard to deal with a shifting sense of your own sexuality, if it happens - sometimes it doesn't, but I am a lot like Elizabeth here. I'm not so sure that I will ever find someone that I feel that strongly about - I still haven't changed my thoughts on premarital sex - it's not the social no-no that it used to be, but for me it just isn't an option - I'm really old fashioned! So I might go to my grave as the world's oldest virgin in two genders! What an honor!

Love ya,

Sally

If anyone would like to see more then one perfect example to this on a daily basis check out yahoo answers from time to time there are all kinds of ignorant people that are posting questions regarding this & think that they are all right & one thing that I have noticed is that most of the ones out there that are doing things like this that has been refered int the quoted post above me are people that are very bible oriented religiously (no offense to anyone here that is I am just making a point) but they don't seem to have any reragd to us & our feelings so they try to start BS w/ other people & pass it off as truth & that is what causes the kinds of things that are being discussed here. Again I wasn't meaning to anger anyone this is just something that I have noticed alot since I started to hang around w/ the homosexual crowd when I was in HS & then more w/ the transgender crowd when I began to learn more about myself.

[Guest julia_d]

Dear Rayne.. you just found out.. that in changing/accepting ourselves we change/accept the world as it is.

Isn't it a better place for it?

I'm still coming to terms with being "married".. in all but the documents.. to the greatest guy in the world.. my one in a million. Wishing you the same happiness and love that I found from an unexpected quarter XD

pp has trouble typing because the nails are getting rather long

[Guest rosey]

great story

[Guest Kelly Ann]

Hi Rayne...I've seen rain come in sideways and change direction abruptly...this is truely THE first time I've felt Rayne go straight upwards That was so uplifting thank-you lady.Acceptance is that pot 'o gold we've been told about at the end of the rainbow.Buuuuut...JUST a housekeeper? My younger sister has been a CNA for 15+ years and now does home health care...you have a demanding, difficult job Rayne and must be very good at it...look how your co-woekers treat you. Continued sucess! You GOoooo Girl...beaming, Kelly Ann

[Guest Naomi Stardust]

Rayne! that's a wonderful story!

i've always suspected it

transsexuals make the world a better place!

course lots of other people do too

but they're on a a different forum http://www.lauras-playground.com/forums/st...ault/tongue.gif

[Guest Rayne]

Dear Rayne.. you just found out.. that in changing/accepting ourselves we change/accept the world as it is.

Isn't it a better place for it?

I'm still coming to terms with being "married".. in all but the documents.. to the greatest guy in the world.. my one in a million. Wishing you the same happiness and love that I found from an unexpected quarter XD

pp has trouble typing because the nails are getting rather long

It's a nice feeling and I didn't expect it. It doesn't happen often, but when it does it's a REAL lift. I have had people I work with turn their backs on me, not many but some. Most are accepting and supportive. They want to do the right thing but don't know what that is. So, I tell them to treat me no differently than they ever have and just remember to address me in the feminine.

Rayne