Does It Matter What Your Interested In?

[Guest Lilyyy]

Like if your interested in "Boy" Things like Football Computers and etc etc can you still want to be a Girl? i know i might be thinking of crossdressers maybe but its been annoying me for days >< any ideas?

Sorry if i don't know much about this and Sorry for my Bad Spelling ><

[Sally]

Well Lilykins (I like that), I can certainly excuse your bad spelling and most likely not even notice.

I am not a gender therapist and seeing one is a good idea if you have doubts about your true gender identity.

But here's a little bit to help you know better what to ask.

An interest in 'guy things' only makes a girl a tomboy, it can be the same for TS girls as well.

If you feel that you are a girl, then that is probably what you are, lots of girls like sports and cars and other guy thing but do not want to be guys!

Crossdressers usually are satisified when they are 'dressed' and feel no need to change their bodies, they are very content in two seperate genders.

Androgyne is living in both genders at the same time presenting as either, bith or neither as they like to appear, but both sides are present and important to remain in a balance that can be just about anywhere in between male and female - a very hard concept to explain, I have trouble underdtanding this one myself, but I know that it is real and a place ahere they feel comfortable so I am very happy for those who find their comfort zone there.

Transgenderist need to live as a gender oppsoite to thier birth gender, but feel no need to change their bodies - I also understand and respect all of these sub divisions - there is no right or wrong, no black and white, just where you are comfortable!

Transsexuals need to change their bodies as well as live in there true gender, I make no distinction between preop, nonop and postop - they are all choices once the body che,istry has been changed and the physical appearence has shifted (boobs and hips for MTFs, Muscles and Facial hair for FTMs) they are no longer transgenderist - that's about the only difference so when dressed as female is there really any difference between any od these, no it's just where you feel comfortable!

I left out transvestites, basically a crossdresser who 'dresses' for a sexual thrill rather than trying to be the other sex! All of these are over simplified and very superficial, just a quick thumbnail - all are more complicated and need to be studied as you find where you belong along this incredible path!

From all of the wide variety of people here heading one way or another, just starting or already in their place on the journey, welcome and don't be so quick to find a label, let it find you!

seek a gender therapist and talk things over - be honest and you will find your place!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Kelly Ann]

Hi Lilykins...I looked...I searched...I put down my red spell check pen LOL. You do get a little gold star though Guy stuff? Some of the most rabid footballers I know are GG's (they mostly like the Dolphin's and Cowboy's...go figure), a GG I work with recently bought a new Dodge Charger (can you spell H.E.M.I.?) our IT person is a GG...hmmmm...now obversely how would I explain my 'action figures' of all sizes and types...are they...<GASP>...DoLLs!!!!NOOoooOOoo of course not they're 'ACTION FIGURES' LOL...I love dance, ballet particularly...am I any good at it, nope, but it's stopped me from being Klutzy Kelly Ann...I can safely be allowed around crystal glasses and good china now. I could go on but personal intrests and pursuits are just that and...well they are what makes you you in part.The wider your intrests the greater the opportunity to grow and THAT is where it's AT girl. SOOoooo enjoy the things that make you happy...whoops...gotta go My Darth Vader action figure is doing some Jedi mind thing to G.I. Joe...now knock it off you two...Huninahug, Kelly Ann

[Guest Cody_T]

I think that the biggest thing to remember is that gender identity and gender expression are two different things. Gender identity is what gender you are (without the constraints of physicality), while gender expression is how you act and present your gender/how society will percieve your gender. Being transsexual or CD or transgenderist or androgynous rarely hinges on your hobbies. It is sometimes harder for people whose gender expression is at odds with their gender identity to fit in, but that doesn't mean that their experience of gender (trans or cis) is any less valid. The big question (and the one I absolutely hated trying to answer) is how you feel on the inside. Basing your gender on external things like hobbies or other peoples' opinions is really tempting, but ultimately it's not them who have to live as you. Seeing a gender therapist would be a great idea right now, to help figure everything out

[Guest Martin]

One of my cissexual girl friends has a lot of stereotypically masculine hobbies. She works on cars, hunts, and works with wood. She even goes by a male name. However, she still strongly identifies as a woman - and that makes her a woman. Period.

Another one of my cissexual girl friends is extremely stereotypically feminine. She's into clothes, bubble baths, and cute decorations. She identifies as a woman and so is a woman. Period.

Neither one is more of a woman than the other. And if one of them was transsexual, she would still not be any less of a woman than the other.

Cody is right - gender expression is different from gender identity. What counts as masculine and as feminine is more or less arbitrarily dictated by culture. There was a time when writing poetry was about as masculine as one could get. Now, it's considered fairly feminine. Dresses used to be unisex. Etc.

Beyond this, brain sex and how feminine and masculine one is is also different. One can identify as a woman and crave a female body and still feel quite masculine. One can be a very effeminate guy and still need a male body. In some rare cases, one can identify as a guy and still need a female body (or vise versa). While the binary gender system works for many, many people, it doesn't fit everyone. There are a lot of options out there. I know that can feel overwhelming, but it can also be freeing.

My advice? Don't be so eager to put yourself in a box and don't worry about proving whether you're "really" a girl. Instead, just try to figure out who you are and what makes you happy. That's hard enough without complicating things further.