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Help, What Am I?


Guest Vivian

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Guest Mika N.

Born with a male body (slim feminine looking body)

Strongly desire having a the body of a woman

I want to have a beutiful face

I fantisize about being intimate with a man as a woman

If I marry, I want to wear the white wedding dress

I fantasize about being pregnant with child.

I cross dress daily

I hate the fat on my tummy and I want it on my tush instead.

I want to speak and sound like a woman

I want to have breasts, preferably B cups.

I hate all my masculine features (bone structure, body, facial hair, masculine voice)

"T demon" is what I call Testosterone (I want as much of it gone from my body)

I can spend hours experimenting with makeup.

I LOVE the smell of women's perfume on me (I often put some on at bed time)

I want my skin to be soft and smooth

I want my ears peirced.

I'm seeking facial feminization surgery and srs(grs)

I hate when I get erections and being controled by "T demon" sex drive

I want to be called miss and not sir

I've felt this way as long as I can remember

Please, what am I?

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Guest Donna Jean

Hon, You are one of us. You are not alone and we are all in it together. We can talk and cry and laugh together, but, we'll work things out as good as possible.

If nice things make you feel good, use them...use the perfume...you'll smell wonderful..

Yes, we're the "Gender Gifted" and like it or not we get to experience two sides of the world where as others are stuck only on one side...We experience more beauty, more love, more pain, more depth...

Mika, sweetheart...embrace it...

Now...you'll need to find a gender therapist and they can help you find where you are in the big picture....but right now, talk to us and we'll try to help..just remember, there is nothing wrong with you..You are special, a "One of a kind", a true unicorn!

{{{BIG HUGGS}}}

Donna Jean

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Guest Naomi Stardust

what are you?

you're not alone that's what

i can relate to all of it (T demon, i like that)

i don't mean to be presumptuous

and if i'm totally wrong i apologize

but it sounds like you already know what you are

now you just need to figure out a way of accepting it

remember, we gender gifted need to stick together

you'll find a lot of smart people in similar situations on this site

and all of them care deeply

good luck!

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You are a human being, first and foremost and always will be.

You are like me in so many ways and I fought long and hard against myself and my very nature - I believed society when the pronounced me male and I worked so hard to be a man - whatever that really means. Things get a little bit jumbled when you leave Black and White behind and enter into our continuous spectrum!

Seeing a gender therapist is a very good first step, they can help you find where you feel that you belong on the gender spectrum - you seem to really already know, but you can use an experienced guide!

No one buys a pocket guide and starts up Mt. Everest! Drop the guy thinking and ask for directions! :D

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest Elizabeth K

Mika N

Everyone is right, you are a person, you are one of us and you are not alone. :D

Hey - you just wrote about almost anyone here when you wrote about yourself. GREAT :lol:

So we don't judge - we gotta lot of hugs - so tell us some more about yourself in real time thoughts - we also make suggestion on how to find yourself, and we always suggest seeing a gender dyphoria specialist - a therapist. It's the first step. If you are too young to have the resources or the support, we can make suggestions. If you are terrified - we get that ways sometime, so tell us - and if you are ever depressd, and we all get that way sometimes too, then ya GOTTA tell us. Gotta tell us dear - we work hard helping when people are depressed. It ain't easy being like we are - wanting to be something else. :rolleyes:

We even share when we are happy-happy-happy. Hey it happens all the time at Laura's :P

Keep posting, even when you don't have much to say - we want you here.

;)

Lizzy

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Irielle

Hi Mika, you have had some great replies to your post. Remember that you are you and although we all like to have names and labels for everything sometimes those aren't what is really important. What is important is that you are good to yourself and take care of yourself.

A good gender therapist is a must - someone who will help you discover who you really are. You seem to have a good handle on that but the road is still a rough one at times. What is wonderful is that everyone here is going through their own version of the same thing and we can all help one another.

Be gentle with yourself :)

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Guest Donna Jean

Irielle said:

A good gender therapist is a must - someone who will help you discover who you really are. You seem to have a good handle on that but the road is still a rough one at times. What is wonderful is that everyone here is going through their own version of the same thing and we can all help one another.

Be gentle with yourself

Yes, Irielle is so right ...everyone here will help in their own way, but, you know that support is here for you. Please always reach out because there are so many willing to help and lend an ear and give support. That's what makes Laura's so special.

A good Gender therapist is an absoute must...that will be your guide..your road map...

Huggs, Honey...

Donna Jean

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Howdy, Welcome.

I have an idea what this time period is like for you, all the "answers" are right there and yet you're afraid to be sure of them. Take a deep breath and relax and listen to he advice given; focus instead on just feeling like yourself. When you feel like you want the label see a gender therapist and they'll help "officialize" it but the real answers will be with you all along.

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Guest AniStacy

You're a person!

And like all of us you want to know who you are.

One can never truly understand one's self, but we try to know as much of the consious as possible! :)

You've told us what you feel, so I suggest finding out how real those feelings are, by consulting a professional.

They won't label you or tell you who you are.

They will help you find out who you are yourself, then they'll help you with the steps that follow!

Good luck!

<3 Stacey

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    • RaineOnYourParade
      happy trans birthday! I can't speak personally on the subject, but I hope hormones bring you the changes you're looking for <3 
    • MaeBe
      That’s super healthy, to see that something that becomes common has less effect on you and that you are able to decipher these feelings.   Sadly, this trend tends to only deaden good feelings as we tend not to let bad feelings attenuate the same way.   I have noticed less euphoria, but still feel the dysphorias that I have. Sometimes the good sneaks in and reminds me, but often time it’s just me seeing myself in the mirror and being comfortable about what I see when embracing my realized self. I may not get the same buzz I once did, but I don’t feel incongruous when looking at a more “drab” reflection.    Wishing you strength, you are amazing!
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    • missyjo
      maebe thank you I try to be. I thank God for blessings, try to share them, beg forgiveness for my shortcomings n vow to try to do better...2 priests have said no, God doesn't condemn you just for being trans...but apparently evangelicals do   I shall vtry dear thank you  
    • MaeBe
      Meet him at the being good to others part of Christianity. At the heart of it, there are excellent tenets of the faith. Those that condemn are judging, Jesus would have us be selfless; stone casting and all that. Are you a good person? Are you putting good into the world? If your gender is an issue for God, let God judge. In the mortal realm, let your actions be heard. 
    • missyjo
      and just fi sweeten it..I'm catholic n he hasn't been for years..he's evangelical..whatever that is
    • MaeBe
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    • missyjo
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    • missyjo
      abigail darling what about extensions or a wig? be brave n hang in there  to thine own self be true  good luck
    • RaineOnYourParade
      When I first started figuring things out, I got a lot more euphoria. Every time a friend would use he/they pronouns for me, I'd get this bubbly feeling, and seeing myself look masculine made me really happy. Dysphoric state felt more normal, so I guess I noticed the pain it caused me less.   Now, it's more just that my pronouns and such things feel natural, and dysphoria is a lot stronger -- I know what's natural, so experiencing the opposite is more jarring than everything. The problem is, most of my natural experiences are from friends, and I rarely get properly gendered by strangers, much less by my family. I've found myself unable to bind in months due to aches, colds,, and not wanting to risk damage.    It partially makes me want to go back to the beginning of my journey, because at least then I got full euphoria. I'm pretty sure it'll be like this until I medically transition, or at the very least get top surgery (you know all those trans dudes online with tiny chests? Not me, unfortunately). It's a bit depressing, but at least I know that, eventually, there's a way out of this.
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Major mood, right here ^^^    I've listened to Lumineers to a long time (a major portion of it by osmosis via my mom), so that is almost painfully relatable
    • RaineOnYourParade
      As for getting a button-up/formal pants suit, you can try to talk to her more -- Cis women in tuxes have worn tuxes in recent years, after all, (for example, Zendaya) so it can still be a relatively safe topic. For jumpsuits, I'd recommend going with a simple one with a blazer, if you can -- this'll make it look overall more masculine. There's a lot of good brands, but going for one without a lot of extra glitz on it will make it look less feminine under a blazer. I don't know many specific brands though since I usually just get my stuff from chain stores, sorry :<   When it comes to your hair, if you can't cut it, you can look up tutorials on fluffing it up instead. If you can pull it off, it can look a lot shorter and more androgynous instead!
    • RaineOnYourParade
      As far as I'm aware, he wasn't -- he just sometimes wore skirts, which was why it was a question in the first place.   In my opinion, part of that is because of the way press spares attention on issues like that. As a bit of a true crime nut and what I see: Child predator cases' (and cases of a sexual nature in general) press focus on those with an AMAB perpetrator generally, and very rarely are AFAB perpetrators given much press time or even getting tried due to a whole bunch of issues I'm not gonna get into. Because of this, when you see these types of cases and a boy is the victim, it's almost always a queer person who is the one who committed a crime that gets press. Therefore, with the amount of cases seen with this type of perpetrator (and due to the fact "99% of queer people are not sexual criminals" doesn't attract eyes), the human brain can kind of naturally makes an association with it. It's not right, but it's also a fault I think falls partially on the media.   That's all my opinion, though!   This is extra confusing to me, as a feminine man is usually viewed as gay. If someone is refusing the acknowledge the existence of trans people, then gay would be the societal connection that comes after, I think. So, that sorta implies that trans women wouldn't be interested in women in the first place by those assumptions? Of course, trans lesbians exist (most trans women I know like women, actually), but it's a little ridiculous to me that people will deny trans people's existence, call all feminine AMAB people gay, and say that trans people are looking to peep all in the same breath.   Wow, this was a lot longer of a response than I was planning to write--
    • Abigail Genevieve
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    • Abigail Genevieve
      I am not sure why people are in favor of unaccountable agencies with bloated budgets and wasteful spending. 
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