both...really?

[Guest ancienteyes]

OK well this is my first post so here goes nothing. I remember the first time I questioned myself was when my best friends big sister jokingly called me a "lesbian". I asked what it meant and should told me it meant I liked women...which made me think "wow I'm a lesbian!" I later asked my mom about it and asked "why do lesbians like boys AND girls?" This was of course a silly question from a naive confused kid. She of course explained the difference which left me more confused than I was to begin with.

Since then it's been a back and forth battle. Dating men, dating women. Dressing femme, dressing butch. Feeling male, feeling female. It all now makes sense.

I will be going to a specialist next week to be tested for pcos, however, it's more likely I have cah...

I am genetically fully female but have excess male hormones and features. I guess I'm just looking to hear other people with similar stories and maybe get some advice on how to "present' myself more accurately now that I know what/who I am.

[Guest Maria_B]

Hey Ancienteyes, welcome.

It can all be very confusing, particularly when you hear so many different versions! While I'm not quite the same as you, I do get that part.

It's a bit of an odd time for activity, but some people who relate better should be around soon

Why not post a thread in the introductions forum, so people can get to know you better?

http://www.lauras-playground.com/forums/index.php?showforum=6

[Charlize]

Welcome Ancienteyes, I'm glad to hear you are getting help next week. Life is confusing enough all by itself at times. Please feel free to participate here as much or as little as you wish. You will hopefully find much you can relate to. If i try to look for the similarities not the differences between myself and others i see so much i would have missed. We are all on different paths and the variety is astounding but we share so much.

We do ask that you read the terms and conditionds found at the bottom of any page. it helps us to keep the site useful for all of us.

Hope to see you around the playground.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest]

Hello! And welcome to Laura's Playground!

As you can tell from looking around the Forum, the gender spectrum is quite rich! I would be about your exact opposite - at a more gender-neutral place on the spectrum, originally a bio-male. I heard an androgyne say once, "Everyone is my opposite sex" - and was actually referring to gender as much as sex. So, no wonder that you find yourself in that "both" position...

I have struggled with the presentation question as well. For now, having transitioned to female is the best solution I can find. It's not 100% accurate, but it's socially acceptable and obviously a transition from my assigned presentation. I know an androgyne, born female, who presents loosely male. But, you will need to work that out for yourself, of course - you've gender freedom to be what you need to be.

I hope to see you around the forum! Oh... I do hope those tests go okay? Take care, dear!

Love, Megan

[Guest Jaques]

Hello Ancient Eyes, welcome to the site, look forward to reading some of your posts...........

[Guest JeepGirl90]

Hello and Welcome to Laura's

i'm glad you are seeking help, it is a great first step.

Best of luck to you

-Christina

[Guest KathleenMarie27]

Hey I just joined to, Im kinda the same in reverse, I am a male but have feminine characteristics, I have never really identified with either gender, I kinda have always just felt in the middle, I like men and women, I like dressing like a man, I like dressing like a woman, I can pull either off just fine. Its nice to meet you.

[Guest endthesilence]

hi there. welcome. this is a very nice site and the people are great. if you ever wanna talk pm me. good luck and take care:)

[Guest aetherlux]

OP - My mother told me that she was supposed to have twins. There were two heartbeats, and then there was only one. The way I think of myself today, and how I generally feel makes me think that maybe I absorbed my sister. You mentioned having male traits. Well, I've noticed that I have wider hips than a typical male. I also have very fine body hair, and it isn't dark at all. From a distance you'd think my arms were shaved. My facial hair is still thin and patchy at 32. I remember friends in school having full beards at 16.

I've struggled with dysphoria for as long as I can remember. I even wondered at one point if I was gay, or bi, but that's not it. I simply feel like I have a woman living inside of me, and she's trying to get out just enough to join the male me, and she must be lesbian because I'm always attracted to tomboyish types and strong, independent women who speak their minds. I adore femininity, and I don't have any desire to be "manly". I can be assertive and intimidating intellectually and in my voice, but it's like I don't have the testosterone or androgen levels to make me feel my biological gender.

I thought that maybe I've some low grade case of Klinefelter's Syndrome, but that usually blocks DHT to prevent male-pattern hairline recession, and the genitals are usually very small. Well, that's not the case with me. Honestly, I wish I had no bits to deal with. I think if I woke up tomorrow as a woman I would be relieved, but who I am right now is just somewhere in between. Most straight women are attracted to masculinity, and I really don't offer that. My strengths are in intellect and creativity, but that's not always enough when you're expected to be alpha male-ish.

Anyway, I feel like I'm rambling now. Just know that you're definitely in good company here.