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What can I do to help her?


Guest aadenr

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If anything. For those of you who read my last post, my roommate and I started a relationship and I told her about my status. She was very very upset but after a couple days got over it, in a sense. We resumed our relationship, and then yesterday it really hit her hard.

She came home crying and told me she had spent all day looking up the surgeries I want to get and got scared. She knows its maybe as drastic as the ones she wants to get, but she's worried I can actually die and now she doesn't know if she can actually stay with me through it. Then she got mad and started yelling at me, saying that I should have told her. That I can't decide for people if they want to stay with me. That it was her decision and now she doesn't know what to do because she can't be without me. She said its like if I get cancer, I don't get to choose if she wants to stay with me through that. That she never expected to be in this situation.

She started hinting that I was a mistake and she shouldn't have ever met me.

She told me I'm the third person to break her heart and that she hasn't cried like this since her mom died. She kept saying that I was suppose to be the one simple thing in her life. And she's tired of fighting for what she wants. That for once she wishes things were just simple.

I kept trying to hug her and listen to her, but it only made her cry more. She calmed down a little, then when she went to bed, she kept saying I should have let her choose. I told her that I loved her and I know that it was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. I told her I wasn't going to let her fall, and I wasn't going to let her give up. She said she just doesn't know what she wants right now and she wishes she had someone to talk too. I asked if I could lay down next to her and at first she said that I will get attached, but we've been sleeping together for a while now, then she finally said fine. I hugged her through the night and at first she wouldn't turn around to face me, but as the night went on she turned around. She wasnt hugging me, but I held on to her, to let her know I was there. Then this morning before she went to work, I gave her a hug and told her that no matter what I will always be here for her. No matter what and that I love her and Sebas. she kissed me and then left.

I just don't know what to do for her or what I can do. I understand its all about time and the mistake I made is already done and over with. I just don't know.

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It is about her. There's a grieving process in dealing with big stuff and this is hers. You didn't necessarily make a mistake any more than getting cancer or a loved one dying is mistake Life happens and sometimes people have to grieve. Hang in there with her and don't make it about you (i.e. do what you've been doing) and you'll both get through it.

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