Fundraising

[Guest Michelles_husband]

I was thinking of having a fundraiser for top surgery. I thought about having it at one of my favourite (and a local fav) bars. Just wondering if anyone has thrown a big fundraiser like this for FTM specific purposes, with a non-FTM specific crowd. I'm wondering about advertising as well. I'm not hiding, embarrassed or scared. It's just that whenever I come out to someone, I tend to make a short story long. I'm just not sure if the barrage of questions could possibly be explained in a bar setting or if people would bother asking until afterwards.

Thanks in advance!

Jess

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Depending on where you live, I'd be careful with that. I wouldn't try that in most of the bars around where I live. It might be different where you are. People who aren't trans themselves don't tend to be all that sympathetic to our need for surgery. Maybe I'm just an old cynic. This is just my opinion. I see you are in Canada. Obviously that is an entirely different world from the southeastern United States.

[Guest Michelles_husband]

Yeah I'm in a small town in the corner of Nova Scotia haha. It one of those backwoods towns where it's still hinky to be black and walk into certain neighborhoods after dark. Some people are absolutely impossible to read too. I haven't encountered any backlash yet though and I'm pretty out. Perhaps you're not cynical and I'm too trusting.

Jess

[Sally]

While on the surface fund raising for your surgery seems like a great idea, I would have to be concerned about the people that you don't even know who may harbor a rather healthy fear and even hatred of the Trans Community, they could show up to disrupt the event and to find out who you are, a little caution here would be wise. Think of the absolute best possible out come then think of the absolute worst and somewhere in between lies reality. Be sure that you are willing to risk the worst (and that can be fatal) in order to achieve a portion of the very best.

I would not try that here,

Sally

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Yeah I'm in a small town in the corner of Nova Scotia haha. It one of those backwoods towns where it's still hinky to be black and walk into certain neighborhoods after dark. Some people are absolutely impossible to read too. I haven't encountered any backlash yet though and I'm pretty out. Perhaps you're not cynical and I'm too trusting.

Jess

It's not that I'm embarrassed about being trans or anything, but I personally wouldn't want to make my identity as an FTM public for any reason. I like to have control over who has access to that info and when they have it. Down here in the southeastern US, there are still people who wouldn't think twice about hurting me or people like me. It's getting better, but it is far from safe to be publically and openly trans around here. I feel pretty okay in the city I live in, but when I have to drive through backwoods Georgia, my adrenalin gets going every time I have to stop for gas. Conservative, religious rednecks = Danger

[Guest Jackson]

Jeez, and I consider myself a conservative, religious redneck too. Am I a danger to myself?

Sorry. I couldn't help myself.

[Sally]

Jackson,

You leave Jackson alone he's not bothering any body! And I'm going to keep my eye on you too, Jackson.

Conservative, religious rednecks you have to watch them all of the time.

Promise me that if I go to another forum you one aren't going to start in on yourself again!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Jeez, and I consider myself a conservative, religious redneck too. Am I a danger to myself?

Sorry. I couldn't help myself.

Probably. If you listen to country music, definitely.

[Guest Evan_J]

Jeez, and I consider myself a conservative, religious redneck too. Am I a danger to myself?

lol Yes, you are Jackson (see, I couldn't help myself either)

In all seriousness though, I actually know someone here who wanted to do something remarkably similar; he wanted to throw a fundraiser for his top surgery. His idea was to convince artist friends to contribute works that he would sell in an auction. Did he do it? Dunno. I haven't been in touch. But I don't think he intended to be "specific" about the cause. I think it was "shrouded" in ambiguous lgbt-isms. lol

[Guest Jackson]

Yep, I listen to country music too. And if I don't forget I'll post photos of my pickup too.

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Yep, I listen to country music too. And if I don't forget I'll post photos of my pickup too.

I can't fault you on loving the pickup. I love my Jeep, even though it is old and kinda weathered. In fact, the more old and distinguished it is, the more I love it.

Seriously though, I'm probably a bit redneck too, though I prefer to characterize myself as "country". Where I'm from, the word "redneck" has a bit of a more negative connotation. I like muddin', shooting cans in the yard, I eat grits, and a large proportion of my extended family resides in a town with a population under 500. So yeah.... that's me. Modern country music, I can't do. Classic country and bluegrass...absolutely.

[Guest Michelles_husband]

Well I hope the red on my neck isn't showing..... I hope no one saw it!

Ahem... Anyway. Thanks to everyone for replying. I spoke with one of the managers at the bar in question about her input (I've known her for years and years) and she suggested maybe just saying it's a benefit for medical reasons that aren't covered by our Provincial coverage. Of course she'd make it sound a little less technical than that. But I'm going to talk to a few of my buddies from a fairly well known band (Wintersleep!!!) and see if they'd help me out. I'm sure there's someway to raise money and stay safe at the same time.

I just never stop to think of the worst case scenario. I've always caught more flack for my skin colour than my (self) mis-identification of lesbianism and later on my transness.

[Guest Crossroads]

I'm in the horrible anti-everything state of Georgia, here! I'd never think of a fundraiser here for anything except a Baptist Church. Heck, even they get rioted against if the money is "dirty with sin" like singing and dancing.

It's a love hate relationship with this state, really. I mean, Southern Comfort is here, so it can't be all bad, right? But then again, I always feel much safer in Atlanta than where I've lived on the edges of the state, close to South Carolina. Georgia may be the anti-everything, but South Carolina starts all our wars. When you mix us all together, trouble is imminent.

[Guest Jackson]

Getting back to the subject at hand, I've seen a few cases in the last few years where people had benefits and fundraisers for people saying they had cancer. Once it came out that these "sick" people were not sick at all, but just trying to get rich, a lot of people got really mad. The people ended up getting busted for fraud.

Now, I'm not saying that one reason isn't as good as another, but I just have a feeling that people might not take kindly to giving money in these tough economic times for unexplained medical procedures. I'm not trying to be negative, but I'd be more apt to donate money to someone who had medical bills for some catastrophic life-threatening ailment than something that was more elective. And I'm not saying that this surgery isn't important because it is. It's just that having to have treatment to help save one's life because of cancer or life-threatening trauma is a little different than the surgeries we're undertaking.

Okay, back to the redneck, I know that "redneck" can be a negative kind of thing. Up in the north (I hate that I live up in Yankeeland), it doesn't have that negative connotation. Just like it just about drives me up a wall that some people use the Confederate battle flag and the term "rebel" just like "redneck" when the battle flag was never a nationally-recognized symbol anyway. I'm gonna beat my cousin's a** for him doing it. It's a heritage thing.

[Guest Michelles_husband]

I'm not saying that I'd make it sound like I was dying or anything.

I know of a few times around here when I was canvassing door-to-door for the Canadian Cancer Society, there was a few kids from a neighboring town that heard about it and made their own pledge sheets. They ended up getting about 600$ before they were arrested.

I don't really know what it's like to be in the States. The economy hasn't really crashed here like it has down there. There's not a lot of jobs but no one is getting laid off that isn't normally laid off either.

Sorry about the redneck thing Jackson.

Jess

[Guest Zabrak]

I don't really know what it's like to be in the States. The economy hasn't really crashed here like it has down there. There's not a lot of jobs but no one is getting laid off that isn't normally laid off either.

Jess

This is true. Canada, as far as I know, hasn't felt any effects rather then from the people who sell stuff to the U.S. I know a few people who lost alot of money because of that(selling stuff to the U.S). Only bad thing I've heard so far.

Heres hoping we stay that way and that the U.S will get out of their depression soon. Go Obama!

As for Funraising...maybe you could make a website for it and try to funraise online? I know it may not work but I think its not a bad idea. Then you could be truthful about what it is your raising money for and maybe get in touch with some people around the world who can spare a bit towards your cause.

[Guest Jackson]

What about the redneck thing?

Nah, I don't care. I never take anything, especially myself, too seriously.

I guess I'm just afraid that if you were to go ahead and do a fundraising thing, people might get the wrong idea (like they'll be trying to figure out what kind of medical procedure it is). That's all. The problem is that people are naturally curious. And they may formulate their own ideas. And if they do find out more about what's going on, they may be a little annoyed about it. That's all.

It's hard to say. Sorry I forgot you were up north of me.

[Guest Zabrak]

Oh, if you go to my profile I have a link to a website for my gaming guild(http://torcor.webs.com/). My web team made that website. If you need help with building a website, if you choose to try to fundraise like that, give me a PM.