Coming Out

[Guest MrAwesome]

hey folks, I'd really like someone to put some time to the side for a minute to help me with something. I've never hid my TG, but I want to sit down with my dad and have a conversation with him. He just won't accept I'm not daddy's little girl.. I'm daddy's little boy =) I need some links to good info about Trans, so I can print it off, and show him some info, maybe he'll understand better. and any other tips would be good too...

[Guest Emily1]

a page I recently found showing that the bible was not necessarily against transsexuals is http://www.drbecky.com/lynnmont.html (he may not be religious, but if he is, thats a good site)

also, halfway down this page is a good description posted by Leah: http://www.lauras-playground.com/forums/in...c=5392&st=0

let us know how it goes...

Hope this helps,

Emily

[Guest Liam]

Here's some of the stuff I gave my parents:

http://www.ftmi.org/5family.htm (FTMI family resources)

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1824656861027683012 (Transgender 101 video)

http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload..._5thedition.pdf (Our Trans Children, from PFLAG)

Good luck!

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Aw-some

I temporarily parked a good item in my BLOG on explaining TS. You are welcome to use it - "Blatent Theft Three"

Liz

Hey - good luck - look him in the eye and be sincere - that way he can't think you are just in a 'phase" that you will grow out of.

[Guest Crossroads]

Of course, the playground has tons of stuff to offer parents! When I started looking around, I ran across this page, which chronicles one man's transition: http://www.ftmtransition.com . It is very thorough! I also find the HRC's website helpful and highly under-appreciated, http://www.hrc.org !

[Guest Evan_J]

I don't have any link or anything to share (besides , you got great one's offered so far) but, I just wanted to say, from what I've seen with a lot of the fellas, fathers have their own method of working through this whole concept and a lot of it is not "overt" like with mothers. Mothers rant, rave, cry, deny do all kinds of things to let you know what the hell they're feelin. Fathers on the other hand are more "restrained", even ones who give you the basic knowledge that they aren't followin you. I say all of that so that in the event you give him all this great information you aren't frustrated and bent out of shape if you don't get a "demonstrative" reply.

The only couple I heard of being demonstrative were "extremes" -ones who dang near ended up in prison for their negative responses or ones who just about jumped to the ceiling screaming "YEEES" cuz they wanted a son that bad.

[Sally]

You have been given a lot of good information and great links to wonderful material. The most important thing is how you present it. He wants you to be his little girl forever and you can't so you have to be very sure of yourself, confident not cocky.

Present it with the underlying theme that transitioning is a good thing, your printed material will back that up.

Don't apologize, just state your position, be gentle but firm.

Be sure that he knows that his son will love him just as much as his daughter ever did, because you have always been his son.

Don't be afraid to hug him, fathers and sons who are close still do that.

Reassure him tha he will always have that special place in your life and in your heart.

We tend to be so concerned about them not caring about us that we forget that parents are human too and they are afraid that we might want to leave them - that isn't the case so let him know that.

Good luck young man,

Sally

[Guest MrAwesome]

Thanks everyone. I'm gonna try to see him this weekend. I'll post how it goes

[Guest leo]

i found that if 1 parent knows they tell the other

my mum said she wouldnt tell my dad id have to tell himself and i over heard her telling him

what a joke, thats parents for you

so they both know now and both disagree

hope everything works out better for you

good luck

[Guest Evan_J]

i found that if 1 parent knows they tell the other

my mum said she wouldnt tell my dad id have to tell himself and i over heard her telling him

what a joke, thats parents for you

so they both know now and both disagree

hope everything works out better for you

good luck

From the position of being the kid (no matter how old you are) that sucks It would be better to not even tell that lie.

From the position of being a parent(stepparent) once and old enough to know "what all the other parents do" I can tell you , any married couple if they are truely emotionally "married" tells each other everything. EVERYTHING. Unless one of em's creepin- that secret they keep. Stuff that other people tell them? You tell one, you might as well tell both.

[Guest Jackson]

I'll second that motion. As having been a step-parent too, really important things are very hard to keep from a spouse when it's in regards to his/her children. If I would have been in that situation, I would have just told my (step)child that I'd have to tell my spouse. I wouldn't have lied about it. But I'm not the usual parent either.

[Guest leo]

there been any more news on how it went?

it seems now that im tryin to hide it, iv been telling more people and using the 'correct' pronouns for myself im my screen names and such

hmmmmmm

still hating my work uniform like theres not tomorrow

endure, endure

[Guest MrAwesome]

Hey everyone, I finally got to talk to my dad. We were at the table, and I was saying stuff to purposely provoke the convo. and we started talking about it and it's just sooo awesome. He's accepting of it, he still doesn't wanna call me Ray though, I'm gonna work on it. Thanks for the help.

+ I also talked to 2 of his friends (they're a couple), we get along, and I got them to call me Ray. (and Raymond) So yeah, everthing is workin out. I'm gonna talk to my therapist on monday, and see about Providers in my area I can use for Testosterone. I wanna get one set up so I can start as soon as I'm 16.

And Leo btw, I'm on my dad's comp right now, and the monitor gets brighter on here (the one I have at home is darker) And your pic looks really good. I'm sure you pass easily.

*sings* and it's a GREAT DAY to be alive I know the suns still shinin when I close my eyes. There's some hard times in the neighbor hood, but why can't every day be just this gooood♪♫

~♂ Lewis Ray - AKA Mr.Awesome

[Guest Irielle]

Ray, that's so cool that your dad is good with your TG! It's only gonna get better, too! w00t!

[Guest Zack L]

That's great! I'm glad things turned out so well. ^^

[Guest Zabrak]

WOO HOO

Grats Ray - AKA Mr.Awesome!

[Guest leo]

thanks ray n im glad everything went well

[Guest amie]

Hellzyeah, Lewis! That's some rilly good reading. Props!

[Guest Drew]

congrats man! that's pretty awesome! and i'm sure your dad will eventually come around on the name thing

[Sally]

Well Ray,

Considering how scared you werre going into this and what you thought could happen - I'd be pretty happy and give him a little time on the name part.

Congratulations.

Love ya,

Sally