Will Va Help Me?

[Guest lil.michelle.leann]

I am a disabled vet already dealing with the VA. Will they help me with consuling or what do I need to do? I live on a very limited income and can not afford to do things on ly own. I have to many issues going on right now to deal with things. I have been tempted to start drinking again after a little over 10 years and been dealing with vrazy feelings and fighting with my self and others overthings lately.

In trying to come to terms with my self I have started loseing my temper again and with telling my longtime partner about things. I have been give a time frame to move out. So now I have also lost my home and the one person I thought cared about me.

I have tried to get help though my local state offices and since I am a Vet, I keep hitting brickwalls. I am affrain the VA will be the same way. I dont care for the place all that much anyways and not very comfertable around there.

I know I need to do something but what can I do?

[Sally]

I've put this out here for you, I wish that I had some information but I am not a vet - I managed to be a student during the last big push in Viet-Nam and my number was never called.

But since this has been approved by a friendly moderator (we are all friendly - I just came across this one first) it is now available for all of our vets to see and you should be getting some input in no time.

Hang in there.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Well - I hope someone knows and can answer. Personally I don't know. i just don't want you to feel no one is listening, and there are a lot of vets here on this site.

Lizzy

[Guest Kelly Ann]

Hi Michelle...I know how antsy I can get when I feel like I need to do something, HECK ANYTHING...get it moving. And if nothings going forward I start to compress. Go to the Bottom of the page and do a Google search on Laura's-playground for, Veterans Administration, your returns will be a little more specifically tailored for you. Read, read and read some more...knowledge is definately power for you and sometimes it helps you to ask better questions too by getting your thoughts organized. I'll keep posting to keep it out there for you..it'll draw some others that will doubtless have better experience than me. Proud to be a friend Michelle...or is that Leann (that is sooo pretty), Kelly Ann

[Guest Donna Jean]

Hey, Michelle....

Hey, Hon...sorry I didn't respond when you put this up, but, my power was out last night due to the ice storm, so I didn't see it until now.

I've had good luck with the VA in my state (Ohio) both with school and medical help. They helped get me put on the "Agent Orange National Registry" for what its worth (got mixed up with that in 'Nam) and they have actually called my house to see if there was anything they could do for me!

Although different VA agencys are run different..some are actually Trans friendly and are willing to help there.

But! You must seek them out. Some like my local one is great..others couldn't care less...you are not obligated to use a certain one...search for what you like and use them!!They used us and now it's time to reciprocate!!

Start like Kelly Ann said ..use the resources on this site first! The VA does offer consuling.

Don't stop at the brick wall...go around it...go over peoples head....Don't take "NO" for an answer!!!

Google is your friend..use it...send e-mails....contact Pa. veterans groups..many will help and walk you through things and even help you out in hard times.. Google "Pennsylvania Veterans Groups"....

Don't let it slide, Hon...you served your country honorably and you deserve respect!!!

Get back to me and let me know how it goes, ok?

USAF C-130 Loadmaster

Donna Jean

(If the guys could see me now.. )

[Guest SharleahLynn]

Michelle,

Will the V.A. help you? Interesting query there.

Of course the VA will help you if you seeking therapy and HRT for transitioning, they help me . I am receiving therapy and my HRT through the VA here in Texas and they are mostly supportive. There have been a few people there that act like morons , but most of them change their tune when they try to disrespect me by calling me sir. They get asked rather bluntly as well as rudely as I can if they can see my chest or if they have seen inside my clothes . I also mention that just because I am still registered by my served name , they have no right to judge that which they do not know . They do not like to see me come in the door , but when I do , they learnin to respect me for who I am .....A WOMAN !

Sorry for the attitude , but I was letting you know that they will assist you , just do not cower down if they try to disrespect you.

SharleahLynn

[Guest Adoni-Michelle]

I am a disabled vet already dealing with the VA. Will they help me with consuling or what do I need to do? I live on a very limited income and can not afford to do things on ly own. I have to many issues going on right now to deal with things. I have been tempted to start drinking again after a little over 10 years and been dealing with vrazy feelings and fighting with my self and others overthings lately.

In trying to come to terms with my self I have started loseing my temper again and with telling my longtime partner about things. I have been give a time frame to move out. So now I have also lost my home and the one person I thought cared about me.

I have tried to get help though my local state offices and since I am a Vet, I keep hitting brickwalls. I am affrain the VA will be the same way. I dont care for the place all that much anyways and not very comfertable around there.

I know I need to do something but what can I do?

The Va will help you you will find people that are uncaring and unsupportive but most will be supportive and helpful just stand up for yourself and I know that is hard right now just when it is hard to make it through the day.

Take care,

Hugs,

A disabled Vet

and

a TG

[Guest Nadeest]

The VA has helped me, here in Michigan, with HRT and some therapy. Please , go to them, and find the help that you deserve. Do not ever give up, for it is out there. Hang in there. Nadine

[Guest Lisa F]

Adding to the "yes they will help you" Thread. I'm recieving counselling from the VA and have just revealed to my therapist that I'm transgendered; he asked all the right questions and had all the right comments. We'll see what future sessions hold but I believe they are there to help. Unfortunately there are those in the VA that are just drawing a paycheck but they are a minority,.....never give up and PLEASE don't self medicate with booze honey,

hang in there,

Lisa

[Guest DeniseNM]

Michelle yes the VA can and does help but you do have to seek it out. Yes there are those there that are just collecting a paycheck but others do truly care. I am staying at a VA center here in OH right now I just learned about a change in VA policy towards transgendered people that I will post in another thread but go to them and get the help. Like DJ said though don't take no for an answer

Denise.

[Guest Kymmie Lorain]

While I have not approached the VA about my Cding. They have been very helpful with my major depression. I guess my CDing just hasn't came up as it really isn't a problem.

Kymmie

[Guest Gina9223]

Babydoll, they will help you. It’s their job too. If you do hit a single brick wall go to the patient advocate or ombudsman’s office and make a complaint and request the needed help. You do have to make your needs known to them for them to help you.

OK?

They're not doing you a favor that’s their job!

There is the Transgender American Veterans Association (tavausa.org) , mostly it’s a lobbying group. Not much use in itself. It does have a list of good weblinks and some states have TAVA groups working out of the VA hospital.

But my experience is this. The VA is actually run state by state and the mandates differ along state lines. You will get mental health care services in all states.

You may get HRT in some states. (this is improving)

You will only have a slim chance in a very few states to obtain SRS. (and that number has shrunk by 1 that I know of but I could be wrong.)

But you won’t know until you, yourself go to YOUR VA and ask them what they can do for you. Here in Connecticut they have a Patient Advocate assigned to GLBT needs and issues. Her job is to ensure that anyone coming in that requires special services has their needs met.

Depending on where you’re at in Pennsylvania (like around Philly is good) you should be able to get good service.

[Guest MickSJ]

THANK YOU for being you and speaking your mind. Also, for the experience w/the VA. I too don't have alot of money or don't know where to go close reguarding top surgery and t-shots. I thought about the VA and my ex-PTSD counselor knew about me being TG month before they got rid of the PTSD center. But, that's as far as I have gotten. I felt they wouldn't help me at all-thanks for opening my eyes and showing that sometymes you just got to "keep pushing" for things to get done. I do have one question-who would I go to about my TG issues at the VA? My doctor or what?

-Mick

[Guest Gina9223]

Mick, I actually found out our local VA GLBT Ombudsman at a Trans Pride event. I keep running into her or her wife (a nurse practiioner at the VA) at various events.

One place to start is to ask your local GLBT support groups about VA contacts and if you have the courage to ask your local VA directly if they have a GLBT Ombudsman or Patient Advocate to discuss your issues with.

I know they will maintain HRT, but many do not start HRT treatment. A rare few do actual surgery, but its like 2 or 3 hospitals out of all of them and they simply will not ever admit that its done.

FtM's can get 'top' surgery for prophylactic reasons. Get a genetic test for breast cancer markers and they may do a double mastectomy. Bottom surgery is done only if you present with cancer.

MtF's, I've heard of 3 hospitals doing SRS on a case by case basis. I'd rather go to someone that does it a bit more often than once or twice in a life time. They don't do BA on MtF's.

[Guest gentleman1]

The VA center in Southern Arizona has stopped doing HRT for trans people. I wonder if others are having the same problem lately? This started a few months ago. - Shawn

[Guest Donna Jean]

The VA center in Southern Arizona has stopped doing HRT for trans people. I wonder if others are having the same problem lately? This started a few months ago. - Shawn

That's interesting, Hon....

What was the reason given?

You know....it never fails to amaze me just how fractured the VA is....

I mean, no standardization....each one steps to a different drummer for some reason.........................

Donna Jean

(C-130 Loadmaster and just a good 'ole gal!)

[Guest gentleman1]

I don't know. I think they said to my friend that it isn't "medically necessary". I don't know what is going on there but there is a MTF who is on the medical advisory board and she is trying to turn things around. - Shawn

I thought there would be standardization! How sad and embarrassing. Vets deserve better!!! - Shawn

[Guest Donna Jean]

I don't know. I think they said to my friend that it isn't "medically necessary". I don't know what is going on there but there is a MTF who is on the medical advisory board and she is trying to turn things around. - Shawn

I thought there would be standardization! How sad and embarrassing. Vets deserve better!!! - Shawn

I certainly hope so, Shawn.....

Yes you are SO right...vets DO deserve better!

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest Gina9223]

While the VA system is a federly funded institution, its administerd by the states. So each state has different rules and regulations on how it operates.

Funny huh?

[Guest Laura Jane]

Hi, Lil' Michelle Jeann...........

I only know what I have watched with our son, who was wounded in action in Panama and again in the First Gulf War. The VA is the second place to die for your country, right after the battlefield in my mind. He was once given morphine in a VA hospital, even though his tags said he was allergic to that drug. Stopped his heart, but they jump-started him. It took five times. He is 100 percent permanently disabled, too, and the experience and depression got him on the bottle for 14 years, but now he has been sober for over five years.

He is 40 and I am 65 and I am transgendered, out part time and have been on prescription hormones for nine years, and if it were not for the hormones I would have ended up in divorce or killed myself or become alcoholic years ago. Sound illogical? Not really. Since I got on estro and spiro, I have become a better parent and spouse and friend and no longer have anger or rage, due to T-frustration. I do have a mostly feminine body now and it is very difficult to disguise two things in particular to crossdress as a male. But the biggest improvement is my take on me and the people around me.

I have no direct advice to you, dear, but the gradual ramp up of hormones made me a better person. In your situation, you may have to go outside the VA to get professional counseling, which will cost money. I realize that is the big hurdle to jump and all I can offer is that you may have to take a job that your disabilities will not prevent you from doing. Maybe the VA has ways you can either work for them or another federal or state agency and still keep your disability.

An outside sex therapist with a concentration in TG'ism may make referrals back to the VA to get the meds. I wish I could help directly, but I am sorta in the same boat. My wife is disabled and I have been the support for us and our daughter and her two boys for some years by my choice, but now I have been laid off and cannot afford the house payments and other bills. It sucks! Our daughter just finished college and will be mostly able to take care of herself and the kids in a couple months, but we will have to survive on Social Security and I don't know how much Medicare will pick up of my TG treatments. I will have to get some form of other income to afford the thing I need to do for my wife and I.

I will pray for you tomorrow and maybe God will help you through this bunch of tough spots. God gives us these challenges to improve us and make us more resilient and She never makes mistakes, so just go with the flow in the most positive way you can and you WILL improve your life. My love goes with you.

..............Huggggs, Laura Jane

[Guest Laura Jane]

Hi, Lil' Michelle Jeann.............

While I was cruising through the website of Lynn Conway,

there was an article from 1998 from the LA Times

that said something encouraging to us:

That society has begun to grapple openly

with these issues suggests how profoundly

absorbing the subject is. "There’s a little bit

of each gender in each person, so there’s

something intriguing about what exists on

the other side," says George Brown, a

psychiatrist at the Veterans Administration

Medical Center in Johnson City, Tenn. "But

there’s also a threat that in exploring the

subject I might find out something I feel is

very dangerous." This implicit threat may

explain why, over the past 30 years, science

has learned less about the mysteries of gender

than about the origins of the universe.

I figure that if somebody in the VA was researching our dilemna way back then, then there is a lot of thinking by now that has been done in our favor, and especially yours. Also, there was a comment on another part of this Laura's Playground site, where someone said that the Washington VA has decided to treat us like anybody else that has a health issue. If that means you can get therapy, meds and other help, I sure hope you can benefit. Take care, dear, and I continue to pray for your success.

...........Laura Jane in Alabamaland

[Guest sherri girl]

Hi I actually am a disabled Marine Corps Veteran and I also work for the Va Medical Center John Cochran and I am a transsexual on HRT. I cant tell you if the Va will help or not Ive hear some places yes and some places no, but what I can tell you is I am not out at work yet, but there is a lovely transsexual named Wendy in the engineering department who is out... everyone at work had to take sensitivity classes and the equal opportunity employment and harassment rules at work were all updated to include transsexuals... so what I'm saying is a little call to the VA hospital center whether john cochran or jefferson barracks both in st.Louis couldn't hurt ......good luck sweetie

sherri