Am I transgender or gender queer?

[Guest Burning Spirit]

My gender issues are in a terrible muddle, I've been researching for five years, I'm 16 years old and I've had this problem since I was 12, I've had these thoughts of wanting to be a girl and they're not just thoughts, it's my very persona which is why I can't get rid of them, I've never been completely certain of my feelings which is why I feel as though I have mixed genes.

My feelings contradict each other, I will see young girls and feel extremely Envious of their long hair and breasts, I badly wish I was young girl, it's an illness and it's anime girls as well, the catch is whenever I see a girl that isn't pretty the feelings stay put, the catch is I have no interest in middle aged women, I'd hate to be a middle aged women, I see myself as a powerful buisinessman but at the same time I want to be a beautiful girl.

But regardless I cannot get rid of the thoughts and I feel like a freak, I'm terrified that because of my mixed identies It frightens me that I could turn into a deranged hooligan I've come to the solid realisation that the only person who knows the answer is me, a real transexual is someone who wants to be the opposite sex out of strong identity not strange desires like mine.

I don't hate being a man but that doesn't change anything, I can't get rid of these desires even if I do enjoy being a man at times, I feel that if I was a women my image in computers in buisiness would be very weak.

You might think the only answer is to see a therapist, but the ones that grasp my mixed gender issues are probably in the minority.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hi,

Gender therapists have a far deeper grasp of the complexities of gender identity than you realize. I am quite sure that they can see things that you have not identified.

Brenda

[VickySGV]

You might think the only answer is to see a therapist, but the ones that grasp my mixed gender issues are probably in the minority.

My therapist would stick his nose in the air and give a loud sniff and a grunt at that statement. You are the bread and butter of Gender Therapists from what you have described above, not the champagne and caviar. Not to put you down or anything, but your story and self description match those of a goodly percentage of the members here. Even those who get to my point (post op) have gone through the steps you have. Envying pretty women for their looks, and realizing that the plain and ordinary women look much more of how we could best express ourselves is just part of Gender Dysphoria for MtF's. Not all of us will make a complete transsexual journey, but as you take care of today's questions, new ones will come up for tomorrow. A gender therapist is first and foremost a counselor for general mental health, and then takes off into where your self identity genderwise becomes the real issue.

Look around here and you will find that while VERY WELCOME, you are not as unique as you may feel, but while not unique, still a very important individual.

[Carolyn Marie]

I don't want to be a middle aged woman either, hon. Alas, I can't escape my fate. But my doctor says that I'm 17 in girl years, so there you go.

Like the others have said, there is no one size fits all to this TG stuff. We are who were are, and labels aren't nearly as important as being true to yourself and being happy. I started out wondering if I was a cross dresser, but soon figured out otherwise. I have a good friend who was certain she would be happy being a CDer forever. Three years later, she has transitioned and is living the life full time. You can't always predict where the path will take you, only that it rarely takes you backwards.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest rowyn]

I'm kind of curious why you don't see yourself as an attractive, powerful businesswoman. There's a lot of strong females out there. One way to learn more about yourself is to always ask yourself why you think a certain way. It involves a lot of soul-searching, and is not easy at first, but you'll get used to it.

[Guest Burning Spirit]

I don't want to be a middle aged woman either, hon. Alas, I can't escape my fate. But my doctor says that I'm 17 in girl years, so there you go.

Like the others have said, there is no one size fits all to this TG stuff. We are who were are, and labels aren't nearly as important as being true to yourself and being happy. I started out wondering if I was a cross dresser, but soon figured out otherwise. I have a good friend who was certain she would be happy being a CDer forever. Three years later, she has transitioned and is living the life full time. You can't always predict where the path will take you, only that it rarely takes you backwards.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

You might think the only answer is to see a therapist, but the ones that grasp my mixed gender issues are probably in the minority.

My therapist would stick his nose in the air and give a loud sniff and a grunt at that statement. You are the bread and butter of Gender Therapists from what you have described above, not the champagne and caviar. Not to put you down or anything, but your story and self description match those of a goodly percentage of the members here. Even those who get to my point (post op) have gone through the steps you have. Envying pretty women for their looks, and realizing that the plain and ordinary women look much more of how we could best express ourselves is just part of Gender Dysphoria for MtF's. Not all of us will make a complete transsexual journey, but as you take care of today's questions, new ones will come up for tomorrow. A gender therapist is first and foremost a counselor for general mental health, and then takes off into where your self identity genderwise becomes the real issue.

Look around here and you will find that while VERY WELCOME, you are not as unique as you may feel, but while not unique, still a very important individual.

Thankyou for your answer ! I was unaware of how skilled therapists were.

[Guest Lupi]

I'm kind of curious why you don't see yourself as an attractive, powerful businesswoman. There's a lot of strong females out there. One way to learn more about yourself is to always ask yourself why you think a certain way. It involves a lot of soul-searching, and is not easy at first, but you'll get used to it.

Society.

But back to the situation at hand.

Technically one can identify as both Trans and GQ, as I do. Though GQ is a very wide umbrella term, which can include agenderism, bigenderism and thirdgenderism. I myself fall into the agendered part of GQ, but indentify as Trans as well because I don't like having a female body or gender role. Therefore I think that the word you're looking to use in place of GQ is bigender. Though even if these thoughts and feelings appear bigendered in nature, they may just be confusion.

[Guest Micha]

I don't understand why you think envy is an illness, or why you think you'd become some deranged hooligan. . .

Envy happens, it's natural. At least, for my experience's worth. I feel it regularly, when I see women, men or other androgynous individuals. I get quite jealous actually. Then I have to look at myself and see what I've got, and I get mixed results, but I;m not a total aesthetic loss. I keep hearing and reading it's no good trying to be someone else, because you're not. You're you, s'all you've got and all you need.

And these feelings are part of who you are. You're feeling them for a reason. Fighting them is not a step towards self discovery.

And yeah, sex and gender should not be a factor in the equation for success.

Much love.