Oophs- It's a Different World

[JJ]

My family was invited to a barbecue a couple of days ago by another family and their children and grand children. The host knew about my situation and was fine with it-specifically invited me to come too. It was a great day but I noticed the son of the hosts wife seemed to be giving me hard looks and avoided speaking. After the barbecue I was thinking about it and whether it was because I was trans or he was just that way.

And suddenly the light dawned. I'm not positive it is the reason but even if not in this case could cause real problems in the future unless I learn my lesson. There was a great swimming hole at the place and I had stood talking to the man's wife for over an hour as her children and my granddaughter swam and we cooled off. A really normal thing in the past when it would have been seen as two women talking. But a man talking to an attractive young woman that long? (Actually she was telling me her life story and talking about her kids but though the others could see us they couldn't hear what we were saying) Maybe not such a good idea.

I have to work on being aware that I have to change how I socialize sometimes. There is a whole different set of rules now.

Johnny

[Charlize]

Oh Johnny, I'm sorry that you are finding one of the hassles of being a guy. Other guys can get jealous. I'm so happy now that i can talk to women without that problem now. I'm just one of the crowd now and i love that chance to be closer. It would be a pity if you lost that as i just find it.

Hugs,

Charlie

[VickySGV]

Sadly Johnny, it works from the other direction too!! I was talking to a man recently about a shared hobby and his SO came over and "took posession" of him, meanwhile giving me a "homewrecker " glare. Problem was that she was cute as all get out and younger than me by decades.

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

On one hand, I can see the guy's point of view on this, on the other hand I can see how it's just two adults talking while supervising children and grand children swimming. Maybe the conversation shouldn't have been as engaging? I don't know, that's all I can come up with.

[Guest sophia.gentry58]

Vicky is right Johnny, it does work both ways. However, I think men get the brunt of the accusation when it comes to this sort of things. Like Charlie I love having the opportunity to be considered just one of the girls and be able to converse with them without being looked at as some sort of predator.

Sophia

[Carolyn Marie]

My therapist told me, before I transitioned, not to take the socialization process for granted. She said it takes a long time, years really, before we become truly comfortable in this new role. I'm not sure we ever stop learning the socialization skills we need. After all, those in our target gender have spent their entire lives in that gender. How could we expect to learn all those skills in a few months, or a couple of years?

Johnny, this sounds trite to say, but it really is a process. Take your time, and learn from experiences like this, and you'll do fine.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie