Shoe Size Problem

[Guest LauraJen]

*Just a quick note to begin with, I like in the UK and here the numbers for shoe sizes are two smaller than the same size for US.

OK so those of you that saw my post in JJ's thread "A Place to Say Something" will know that I recently gave myself a treat - I ordered some new clothes including three pairs of shoes (one flat, two heeled), and I have now had the chance to try it all on. This was meant to be a present to myself for getting through an excruciating final year of university as male, in addition to helping me get over the bumps between now and when I move out again as this is likely to take more time than I would like.

Generally I am very pleased with the purchases and I can safely say that I have definitely found my style (I will post pics of what I bought later). However I did have an issue with a couple of the pairs of shoes. The flat pumps I got are indicated to be size 7, but they are more like 6s. A pair of heeled pumps are better, although still on the tight side. The remaining pair is a decent fit, maybe even a little large for the size, but it doesn't matter a great deal as they have straps to secure them.

I appreciate that this is an unfortunate consequence of online shopping as you cannot try things on befroe you buy them. The truth is though, I don't pass well enough to feel able to buy things physically yet. Circumstances make it difficult to arrange to return things so if something doesn't fit right, I am stuck with it. I measured myself against the site's fitting guide and it turns out that I am something like two or three millimetres larger than what a 7 is defined to be, but still considerably off of size 8 - every single 8 i have had before has been too big and they slip right off. So it seems as though I am sometimes too large for a 7, but too small for 8.

This will be my last purchase before I move away from my mum again. I think when I can shop more freely I will go for slightly more expensive brands where they are made better - I have heard that for some of the brands I like, the sizes tend to run slightly small, which may make 8s ideal. I would rather save up and have fewer more expensive shoes that are a better quality and fit better then lots of cheaper ones that I can't wear well. I will be able to return things easily as well so it will be less of a problem. However, I really like the ones I have just bought and I don't know anyone i could give them to, and I still don't have a lot of clothes and something is better than nothing, right? I heard that you can stretch shoes with a shoe stretcher so think i may invest in one of these - has anyone else ever tried using one? I am seriously considering getting one particularly as I am only slightly larger than the 7 and it may make these shoes OK.

Or alternatively if you have had similar frustrations with shoes and can relate to this post then feel free to share :-)

Laura Jen

[Guest Kaylee234]

Unfortunately it is a risk of online shopping that sometimes what you get doesn't fit as well as you'd hope. Still, I've had a lot of success anyway. And if you buy from a reputable vendor like Zappos, they often have a very friendly return policy.

Nothing beats actually shopping in person, though. I understand your anxiety about trying on and buying women's shoes when you don't feel "quite womanly enough". It's a step you have to take, eventually. If you don't you will always feel like you just can't do it.

~ Kay

[Guest JeepGirl90]

I guess I gotten lucky with the shoes I've gotten I generally wear a size 11W or 12, and have had really good luck so far with them fitting ok so far. but alot of times shoe manufacturers seem to have their own sizing charts that change per company.

[Guest Jaques]

Hi there, yes I have problems with shoes all the time, since im in the Uk and the smallest mens shoes are a size 6, im a 5, so makes my choices very limited - to boys shoes. I found a site for men with small feet which has my size and sent for 2 prs - they fit but my feet look so tiny - so I have to try to get shoes which make my feet "appear" longer. Its very frustrating as I love nice shoes, particularly loafers and I don't even go there with the house slippers - if you don't want footballs, batman or spiderman, bob the builder on..............forget is, lol! Actually I found a lovely comfy pr. of unisex Ugg type sheepskin ankle book slippers which cost £30, expensive but they have lasted me 3 years to date, been in the washing machine many times and still come out soft and warm - I guess when you cant fix something, you just have to get on with it - I have the same with long sleeve shirts, my arms are too short - and I love double cuffs because I have a great collection of cufflinks - also shirts are often too long, even though im 5 ft. 6" which isn't exactly tiny for a bio woman of my generation................so I accepted im never going to be 6 feet tall, which helped a lot and I get what I can.

Good luck with the shoes Laura Jen, suggest a thick inner sole, heel grip or getting the smaller ones stretched, which they will do in any good cobblers shop.

[Guest LauraJen]

Thanks everyone -

Unfortunately it is a risk of online shopping that sometimes what you get doesn't fit as well as you'd hope. Still, I've had a lot of success anyway. And if you buy from a reputable vendor like Zappos, they often have a very friendly return policy.

Nothing beats actually shopping in person, though. I understand your anxiety about trying on and buying women's shoes when you don't feel "quite womanly enough". It's a step you have to take, eventually. If you don't you will always feel like you just can't do it.

~ Kay

This is why it usually takes me several hours to actually buy anything and place the order. Everything is a gamble because you can potentially end up with something that is useless, so I will really carefully consider it for ages. The vendor is definitely reputable so I am not worried about that but I can't really return things discreetly until I am in my own place again so they will be staying with me for now.

Unfortunately I have extreme confidence issues and I even have trouble buying something for someone else. This is going to make me sound pathetic but I realistically I really cannot see myself overcoming this. I will probably even end up looking like a woman in men's clothes before I can bring myself to do it! Whenever I am in a town or a city walking past shops, particularly those that sell female clothes only, it feels as though there is some kind of repulsive field that pushes me away from the entrance, blocking me from going in. I really look forward to the day when I can just go into a shop like a regular person, and also when I can just have all the clothes hanging up nicely in a wardrobe with all the shoes in a nice neat line on the floor underneath, as opposed to being stuffed into boxes with locks on them.

(Apologies in advance for double posting, not sure how to use the multi-quote thing yet)

[Guest LauraJen]

Hi there, yes I have problems with shoes all the time, since im in the Uk and the smallest mens shoes are a size 6, im a 5, so makes my choices very limited - to boys shoes. I found a site for men with small feet which has my size and sent for 2 prs - they fit but my feet look so tiny - so I have to try to get shoes which make my feet "appear" longer. Its very frustrating as I love nice shoes, particularly loafers and I don't even go there with the house slippers - if you don't want footballs, batman or spiderman, bob the builder on..............forget is, lol! Actually I found a lovely comfy pr. of unisex Ugg type sheepskin ankle book slippers which cost £30, expensive but they have lasted me 3 years to date, been in the washing machine many times and still come out soft and warm - I guess when you cant fix something, you just have to get on with it - I have the same with long sleeve shirts, my arms are too short - and I love double cuffs because I have a great collection of cufflinks - also shirts are often too long, even though im 5 ft. 6" which isn't exactly tiny for a bio woman of my generation................so I accepted im never going to be 6 feet tall, which helped a lot and I get what I can.

Good luck with the shoes Laura Jen, suggest a thick inner sole, heel grip or getting the smaller ones stretched, which they will do in any good cobblers shop.

Thanks Jacques, hope you find what you are looking for as well. Sadly I think my taste in shoes is quite limited, it seems to be all court shoes, or pumps, and ballerina flats for me, so that also means I steer clear of Megan's idea of sandals. I don't know why but I have never been a fan of that kind of shoe. I suppose it might be because I have never been a big fan of my feet being on show (and i generally just find regular shoes a lot more attractive).

[Guest JorjaFox]

I've just bought a pair of shoes, waiting for them to arrive, they are a uk size 12 , I just noticed they have a 3 inch heel which is square, will I struggle to get used to them ? I have never tried heels before

[Guest Frenchfeme]

It takes some practice walking in heels to be able to do it without wobbling, but once done you feel absolutely fabulous in them. This is just me, but I love the sound they make when I'm walking on hard surfaces.