My mum and dad reckon its a phase but I strongly feel it is not

[Guest veltiro]

I made a big mistake. You probably know my big secret. I am a transsexual girl. On Tuesday I was casually in conversation with a friend, James when i mentioned i had a big dark secret I tell no one. Well, he kept on harassing me and asking for the answer. Another one of my friends, Tamara walked past and she heard James begging to know. I trusted Tamara and told her I was TRANSSEXUAL. Well, a few hours passed and it was now lunchtime. Crystal (Tamara's best friend and my crush) got back from in school suspernsion and hanged out with Tamara for the remainder of the day. She then began to brag about knowing the secret. I saw Crystal on the otherside of the quad staring at me and smiling. She then asked for the secret. I refused to tell her. The nshe guessed. She asked, "are you a transvestite." Okay. When someone says this you have to tell them the truth. I said, "No, I am TRANSSEXUAL." I'm not sure if Tamara told her or I guessed. Anyway, Its flamboyantly obvious. I'm pretty feminine at school, (ESPECIALLY AROUND FEMALES). I think she was a bit disgusted because she probably realised I like her in a lesbian way which is TRUE. Okay, here's the worst part. She ran down to see Tamara who was hanging around with some older guys. Then Tamara asked what happened. Crystal blurted it out loudly and then Tamara laughed and the boys started staring at my body and saying sexual things. i ran away and hid behind a tree. One of the teachers told me i was out of bounds so i ran to D Block toilets and Tamara caught a glimpse and followed. Tamara caught me and I forgot what happened. She said she was sorry. Tamara is a nice girl. We walked back down to the quad and there I saw her. it was that filthy hoe, Crystal standing on a ledge smiling with a cup concealing her evil grin. I got angry and asked for her to remove the cup. She ended up laughing her head off then I shouted, "YOUR GOING ON MY SUICIDE NOTE!" Crystal then ran to the teacher to dob on her even though she did the damage. i got really scared and offered her oral sex and that made it even worse. She walked to the year advisors room and dobbed me in. I got into trouble and had to see a school councilor who has no understanding of transsexualism and he thought it was just a phase. A few days later my friend, Oak punched me so I told my year advisor. He took advantage of it and decided to dob in all the bad things I did over the term (mainly attention seeking stuff), I walked home knowing it was holidays and when I got home my mum was on the couch and she was so peed. She told me she knew all the bad things I did and the teacher even told her my transsexual stuff. My mum told me i was a BOY and it was just a phase. I was almost in tears then I went into my room and cried. I'm now grounded and my parents criticise me every time I tell them I'm trans and they will not let me be femme. HELP. I feel suicidal and I want to castrate myself every single day. I cannot handle it anymore. HELP

[Charlize]

You are going to be ok. Perhaps your mistake will work out best for you in the long run although it is hard to see now. You are young and while it seems it can never get better it does day by day. Give things time to calm down and work out. I'm sorry your mom doesn't want to help and feels it is a phase. Be assured that your feelings will win out in the end. Try to be patient and in the meantime i'm sure you will find friends at Laura's who share your experiences. You are certainly not alone.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest lostflower]

Sweetheart I want you to listen to me very carefully never offer sex as a bribe again never sacrifice your pride dignity or self respect for any reason losing them will damage you more than you know

The best thing to do is to take control of the situation

Your parents look as if they will be no help till they get their heads out of the sand so here's some ideas of what to do in the meantime ask to speak to the principal/headteacher of your school to complain about the conduct of the teaching staff councillors if that doesn't work go to the school board and the pta then your local MP and the education minister the school is in breach of Transgender Discrimination laws

Make a report too the police about harassment from the pupils that harassed you, yes I am serious and if the officer is reluctant to make the report insist you speak to an LGBT liason officer this link may help

http://www.police.nsw.gov.au/community_issues/gay,_lesbian_and_transgender_issues

The links here might be useful too

http://www.acon.org.au/

Most of all stop letting them make you feel ashamed you're outed now but don't let anyone make you feel ashamed of what and who you are there's nothing wrong with you.

Don't be sad it's what they want to see you cry, be angry instead if that's what it takes use that anger to keep you going and stop attempting castrate yourself the surgeons will need that skin when they fix your defect later

Being sad and depressed will destroy you little by little, fighting this not with violence but by exercising your human rights is the only way to improve your situation

I'm only a message away

Hugs

Hannah

[Guest Jenn348]

First, full agreement with lostflower. Don't sell yourself short. People are worth far more than to be sold so cheaply, yourself included. Have some dignity and self-worth. Don't let the world convince you that you are worth so little.

Second, get some help wherever you can. Getting help is nothing to be ashamed of.